I’d rather be dead.

[despairingandunhappy]

I hate DP.
I have never known a man so financially abusive in my life. He blames me for us having no money yet leaves me with £11 a month to live off after bills are paid. We’re 4 days before payday there is no food in my house and 10p in my bank. And all I have is him moaning about it, “he’d be better off in prison”
I’ve got fuck all. I’m glad we’re on lockdown cos it gives me an excuse to not go out. I don’t want my friends sending me pics of clothes they’re buying or holidays so I’ve come off social media. I need this off my chest because I’m about to explode.

I’d rather be fucking dead.

[JulesCobb]

Tell them how Much in danger you feel too. Dont underplay it. Lots of women downplay the abuse so much because theyve just become that used to it.

[despairingandunhappy]

I was very honest with them, however our local DV services are so stretched. Luckily I buy DS’s food, milk and nappies in bulk so he’s all good

[NotaCoolMum]

Contact your local council- can they not put you and DS in emergency accommodation? Open a new bank account and have your UC paid into that? 💐 hope you get away from the bastard. You’ll be better off all round without him x

[despairingandunhappy]

Our council out of hours only really do that for homeless people. Our local DV service is the one to go to but I’ve already contacted them and I’m hoping they phone me first thing with good news

[despairingandunhappy]

We’ve been together 2 and a half years and he’s been like this for 2 of them

[Enchantmentz]

I know it isn't ideal and this is probably the worst time in your life atm but going into a refuge will be the first step into a better life away from this man, so glad you have reached out for help and hope you can keep the strength to continue. You don't need him and nor does your dc.

[Sunrise234]

We’ve been together 2 and a half years and he’s been like this for 2 of them

At least your finally deciding to get out. Hopefully there’ll be some room soon.

[despairingandunhappy]

I’m in Tameside, greater manchester

[Bananabread8]

You should be able to get a council house. Like women’s refugee. Do you have a friend?
It sounds awful OP. I hope you manage to get some where. You could call the police?

[despairingandunhappy]

I’ve fucked all my friends off through jealousy and self pity. For example my friend knows exactly what position I’m in and sends me pics of what she’s ordered online and new hair stuff so I’ve basically just stopped speaking to everyone. I’m my own worst enemy

[Sunrise234]

www.homeless.org.uk/search-services?field_geofield_latlon=Tameside&field_geofield_latlon_op=5&field_homeless_england_type=5846&field_region_and_local_authority=All&field_homeless_england_type_1=All

Not sure if this link will work but there’s a few shelters near you. I would give them all a ring and see if you can get it there for a few nights and then contact the council who will put you in emergency housing.

[neverdoingthatagain100]

Just want to send you a message of support, I can't help in any other way. Well done for trying to get out of this. You can do it , life WILL be much better on the other side. You are valuable and so is your baby. He's an absolute dick but you will escape. I'm crossing everything for you, keep chatting here. You are not alone.

[Bananabread8]

Ohhh OP. Have your friends tried to support you with leaving him? He should not be taking your money. Does he earn a good wage?

[ClamDango]

Jealousy and self pity can destroy you if you let it but can be a sign of depression. Instead of cutting your friends off can you reach out to them, there's no harm in admitting you're jealous you cant have nice things at the moment but its all material things and nothing to be jealous of. Maybe she sends you pics to try and take your mind off things.

[despairingandunhappy]

I tend to attract very self centred people to be honest.
My two friends don’t really get involved, one of them who sends the pics I honestly think is just friends with me to make her feel more secure in her life and relationship. I’m not like a significant part of her life.

[CodenameVillanelle]

@despairingandunhappy

Our council out of hours only really do that for homeless people. Our local DV service is the one to go to but I’ve already contacted them and I’m hoping they phone me first thing with good news

If you turn up there tomorrow then you WILL be homeless. Leaving a DV relationship is grounds to be accepted unintentionally homeless. You can present at your housing office or one in another area, if it's not safe to stay local

[despairingandunhappy]

@CodenameVillanelle I was honestly debating just going down there in the morning and just saying I’ve not eaten since Friday I’m being financially abused and I can’t take anymore I need out

[HolyForkinShirt]

[quote despairingandunhappy]@CodenameVillanelle I was honestly debating just going down there in the morning and just saying I’ve not eaten since Friday I’m being financially abused and I can’t take anymore I need out[/quote]
Do this. Exactly this.

❤️

[ClamDango]

Once you're out you of his grip you can start to meet up with other mums, go to toddler groups, have time to enjoy yourself and your baby doing what you want. You will make new friends..

[despairingandunhappy]

I’m probably going to, for so long I’ve been so bothered about what people think of me and looking a certain way.

[CodenameVillanelle]

[quote despairingandunhappy]@CodenameVillanelle I was honestly debating just going down there in the morning and just saying I’ve not eaten since Friday I’m being financially abused and I can’t take anymore I need out[/quote]
Yes, pack a bag with essentials for a few days for you both and important papers and go. They may ask what evidence you have ie have you reported to police or a DV support service. This is not a requirement to access housing but does help, if you have it.

[despairingandunhappy]

I did take him to sensory until lockdown and made acquaintances with the other mums but once they started arranging days out and stuff I just took a step back because there’s no joy in going into town or shopping centres as I would often have to take my own lunch and bus fare was not an option

[ClamDango]

Make sure you get your paperwork together, bank statements for you and his, UC and child benefit info. Anything that shows he takes all your money and leaves you with nothing.

[despairingandunhappy]

This may be a stupid arse question but if I leave the house and he takes it over, what do I do about gas electric and broadband? It’s no surprise I’m in arrears with everything 🙄