I asked him if he loves me more than he ever loved his ex wife

[mongwyn]

And he replied don't ask me things like that ...

I can't get it out of my head . Am I being unreasonable asking about this ? I know I'm insecure but it's making me so unhappy

"I know I'm insecure but it's making me so unhappy"
It is not his answer that is making you unhappy, but your insecurity. Which sounds pretty overpowering, to have actually asked him that. I did a double-take on reading it myself. Others have already put better than me the meaningless of comparison, as we love everyone differently and they just aren't comparable.

Why do you feel so insecure? Is it just with him, or is it how you've always felt?

You just don't ask a question like that. You would get a reply, either saying, don't ask me that, or a no, or a yes, and you only want a yes, as you live in dream land !!

I think you need to remove yourself from romantic relationships and seek help and advice from a counsellor/GP

Seriously get help for your insecurities. That's a ridiculous question to ask

Really stupid question to ask

Also, no idea why the answer would matter to you - it's not a competition

Stupid question. Of course he loved her . If he's any kind of a good husband he's not going to pretend he didn't, or start comparing wives.

How old are you?

Yikes.

I'd hate my bf to ask me that. I loved my ex husband with everything I had. He was my first love and the man I chose to marry and have children with. He had an affair and our marriage ended horribly but I will never feel the same way about anyone as I did for him.

I love my bf and don't want to be with anyone else but if he asked me that question, I'd have to tell him the truth, which is "no", or similar to what your partner said to you.

I love my husband more than anyone I have been with, much more of a deeper love over time than I had with my previous exes.

That being said people have all different experiences, you are obviously feeling really crappy op, is he not that affectionate or attentive which is making you question his love for you?

A hard lesson lesson learnt I would say there OP...don’t ask a question hoping to hear a certain answer.

I think you should take his advice and not ask him things like that.

And maybe think about why you asked and why it matters so much and what needs to happen for you not to feel so insecure and unhappy about it.

Needy much?

What a silly insecure question. I would be very annoyed if my partner asked me such an infantilising question.

Why? Love is not a competition and it is an question it is impossible to answer, your unhappiness lies in your insecurities not in his refusal to answer.

Really you shouldn't have asked

Are you a lot younger and more inexperienced than him?
You wouldn't want to be with someone who married a woman he didn't love, would you?

What?? Didn’t you read the rule book?

See, I love my husband far, far more than anyone before or probably after. And he adores me. In fact, he has said many times his feelings for me are incomparable to anything before. So live absolutely can be measured and compared.

Oh God, why?
Why ask him that?

I refer to his ex wife as his "better" wife but with tongue firmly in cheek.
No children with her, so she never comes up in conversation and I never ask. Not interested in the slightest.

I think I understand why you are asking. We all want to be the most beloved, I guess. The problem is that unless you are the first love in someone’s life that question cannot be answered.

I wonder if you are having some anxiety in your relationship that is causing you to wonder about this?

For those people saying you love their husband more than your exes - were you married to your exes?

Of course it can be answered! I was married before. I live my husband now incomparably more as he does, I. Not sure why people think this can't be the case?

I was married before. He was married before. We both married too young, fell into as we both married first serious relationship. Quickly realised we weren't suited but habit, children and mortgages got in the way. This time, we chose each other and it is completely different.

Yes @ravenmum I had a short marriage prior to my dh, I married very young for the wrong reasons.
My now dh I have been with for a long time.

Whooooo, that's a high stakes question.