You patronising fucking bitch....

[hopingtobedally]

If a male who was meant to love you came out with this ....what would you think?

I must admit that I occasionally get so furious with DH that I will call him all sorts under my breath, and none too subtly either. At the time when I'm saying it, I genuinely mean it. I don't later, and I think he's the same as me in that. Therefore we do insult each other horribly, but sort of on equivalent terms IYSWIM.

As Aussie says though, you clearly didn't like it OP, and that is the important part.

How do YOU feel about the use of those words in this situation op?

BTW, I don't think 'I want to be with you but it will never work' is necessarily contradictory. I think it means that he really likes you but that you clash or rub each other up in some way ( which would appear to be the case) or that you have some major life decision incompatibility.
Either way, if this is some disagreement you keep having and are getting nowhere with to the point that interactions degenerate from both sides in the way you described, it would seem that he is right and its time to split.

In the middle of an argument where I was giving as good as I get and starting it, Ie you fucking bastard or something, not a lot. If I provoked as you indicate, then I’d be furious, and depending on how well into the relationship and other factors, Ie was it a one off, are we married is there kids, would depend on what I do next.

My marriage ended the day my husband called me a terrible name. We’d never called each other names in the ten years we’d been together. It was a sign the relationship had sunk to new lows. That was my time to get out.

In what context?

Cut this one loose. He is not a catch.

@MonkeyToesOfDoom

Is the woman being a patronising bitch?

Of a woman called a man a fucking dickhead when he was being a dickhead is that okay?

Context is key and knee jerk reactions from people that weren't there are unlikely.to help clarify anything.

This.

Context is everything for me.

And would make a massive difference between, we can deal with this to I'm leaving.

Jesus I feel sorry for the people who “need more context”. Raise your standards. If my partner thought I was being patronising then they can tell me that without calling me a fucking bitch. No one gets to speak to me like that and stay in my life.

I think a number of other factors need to be in consideration here.

If it was a relationship of many years, shared house/finances/children then I'd be prepared to put in some work to improve our communication skills (but both of us would have to accept that the work was needed)

If it was a short-lived thing with not much history or committment then TBH I'd see it as a clear sign that we weren't suited, if we were arguing about the same subject to the point where I was eye-rolling and being dismissive and they were calling me a bitch. Life's way too short for that shit.

really don't understand all the 'he'd be gone immediately' type comments. the op didn't provide much (any) context. what if they were acting like a patronising bitch? what if it was a heated argument where horrid things have been said both sides? it doesn't automatically make someone sexist. depending on the context it could've been a reasonable, albeit heated and unkind, response.

Sounds as if you're both pissed off with each other.

No one would call me a bitch & still be in my life, but I also wouldn't want to be with someone who irritated me so much that I would say "here we go again" about them.

Did you also sigh dramatically?

Also I’m not sure why I need to get to know him to be able to call him a cunt. Person who is a misogynist evidenced by calling a woman a bitch = cunt. No need for me pal up with the guy to decide it’s pretty clear.

If it's misogynist to call a woman a bitch, and I agree that it is, what is it when you use female body parts to denote a slur?

OP if my partner did that, I'd think the relationship needed examining. I can't imagine he'd call me a bitch. He might, just might say I was being patronising if I was talking down to him. But as pp have said, it doesn't really sound like you two like each other very much.

No wonder so many women are single if one instance of being called a name means LTB. Zero tolerance for a person being human and losing their temper once.

I'm sure I'd be saying a lot worse than "here we go again" if my partner said he'd love me forever and then telling me it wouldn't work.

He sounds like a head fuck

@Regularsizedrudy

Jesus I feel sorry for the people who “need more context”. Raise your standards. If my partner thought I was being patronising then they can tell me that without calling me a fucking bitch. No one gets to speak to me like that and stay in my life.

I called my husband a twat this morning. Should he leave me?

You don't know our relationship, you don't know the context. Just because calling each other names isn't in your relationship doesn't mean it isn't in others.

Context is everything.

@MonkeyToesOfDoom

What Monkey said

Context is everything - there are women who use equally disparaging/rude/ignorant comments about men - but hey ho that's alright it would appear to some [hmn]

"Is the woman being a patronising bitch?
Of a woman called a man a fucking dickhead when he was being a dickhead is that okay?
Context is key and knee jerk reactions from people that weren't there are unlikely.to help clarify anything."

@HollowTalk

I'd think:

• this is what he actually believes (no matter how much he protests he didn't mean it later, when he's dumped)
• he's believed this for a long time
• he hates women.

I'd dump him as soon as the words were out of his mouth.

This

@Regularsizedrudy

Jesus I feel sorry for the people who “need more context”. Raise your standards. If my partner thought I was being patronising then they can tell me that without calling me a fucking bitch. No one gets to speak to me like that and stay in my life.

You've never had an argument and said something you don't mean?

Too many man-haters on here judging the situation just because he is a man. Wonder what the replies would be if a woman had told her partner "you fucking patronising dick/knob/bell-end/prick"?

Yeah, @MoreListeningLessChatting, I'm one of those. I call my DP names more often than I use his own name, (not to mention the punches he started receiving since I discovered boxing) and no, he doesn't get to do the same back!

So QQ away for the poor abused soul!

@Trashtara
I called my husband a twat this morning. Should he leave me?

Completely agree with you. I called my husband essentially “fucking useless pig” when I lost my head a few weeks ago. It’s not a good relationship if you cannot ever lose your temper with your partner and not be forgiven for it. You’d be walking in eggshells if under threat of divorce at first nasty comment just for being human and losing your temper once in the decades, half century long term of marriage. It’s sad that people who can call random bad drivers all sorts of names, or even other posters on here all these names and that’s ok, but you cannot expect forgiveness or tolerance from someone you love and supposedly loves you.

@Akea wow you sound so proud of yourself 👏🏻

The relationship is dead in the water, OP. Let it go.

Depends on the context. I'm sure for some people that would be a huge deal. Less so for others.

I'm one of those. I call my DP names more often than I use his own name, (not to mention the punches he started receiving since I discovered boxing) and no, he doesn't get to do the same back!

Then you are in an abusive relationship and you are the abuser.