Dating Thread 192 - Rose tinted glasses need banning

[Dancerinthemoonlight]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Hello all, happy birthday to the birthday people!

I am going to try catch up. I have been busy and don’t have much to report myself, Mr R and I are a bit smitten and I don’t want to bore you all too much with it. I met some of his family this weekend which was really nice. We spent a lot of time in bed this weekend as well I am still in a bit of shock I think but not complaining at how we have evolved from the platonic friendship, to nervous fumble sex to hot sex. This was one area I was a bit worried about as I have a high sex drive and he was less experienced and had some hang ups. Me and the G spot are pleased we gave him a chance 😂

thanks for the responses.
@Rainydayss @Onesmallstep67 @LivingMyBestLife2020
yes he always texts like this, i do find it annoying, mainly trying to decipher what it means.
we have no chatted on phone
it did make me feel uneasy, i asked if it was a joke ?
he came back with, lolx

and not heard from him since, which is strange as well, as he normally always says, good morning , if nothing else.

@Menora, I think it sounds great and I am really pleased that you have found someone where it has evolved into something special. Long may it continue
@Misha2011, it's entirely up to you but if you do meet him proceed with caution. This might be an example of rubbish at communication but far better in reality. This is the wonder of OLD, you just never know what you are going to get
@LivingMyBestLife2020, I think you have a great attitude. Good luck with your new job and like with most things if Mr T is meant to be part of your life going forward then it will happen.

@Onesmallstep67

I hope you are right :)

@Misha2011 That does sound like a really weird message, I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with that. Saying that though I unmatch at the first hint of text speak so I might just be a bit harsh all round when it comes to some people's communication styles!

@Awholenewlife123 Thanks, I think you're right about my previous iron showing his true colours. If he's getting into a sulk about not being able to see me due to lockdown then he's probably not the man I thought he was, or he's just using it as an excuse to break things off between us. It is a real shame though, I can't help but feel disappointed, I really did have a good feeling about him and we seemed to click so well. It's strange to think that he clearly wasn't thinking the same when we were together.

I've been swiping again this morning and found myself getting increasingly exasperated. It feels like I'm down to the dregs on Tinder at this stage. A heady mixture of men who are posing next to drugged up exotic animals, holding fish, have their tongues sticking out, graduates of the University of Life, unable to spell, or have passive aggressive bios. Think I might need to take a break!

Why are you talking to him @Misha2011 if you have to decipher his texts and he's made you feel uneasy! That sort of text speak would be an instant no for me. Regardless of the idea of being his. I assume he means having sex. Is this the first time you will have met?

@Misha2011 I have to say this, and I apologise if I sound shallow, but text speak like screams low intelligence to me. I absolutely would have blocked on the first message. But if you do decide to meet him, be very careful and please let somebody know where you are

Bit of an update from me. I've had about 5 dates now with Mr Funny ( 6th planned). I like him a lot and he ticks a lot of boxes. I think he's a good looking guy but I'm not sure if I'm attracted to him properly.

Not sure if to give it a while longer or to just say.....I stayed at his house on date 5 but I didn't feel like I wanted to do anything sexual. He's lovely and I want to fancy him but not sure I ever will. ☹

Seems a shame as on every other front he's lovely, available and straightforward which is very refreshing for me.

Should I give it longer or just nip.it in the bud now?.keep hoping I will fancy him.more as I get to know him but just not sure.

Very pointless question for the ladies here, I'm going to a yoga class with my super experienced new iron. I'm super unfit and have never been. Any tips for looking half decent and not taking a tumble?

@Eesha I'd focus on your breathing and play everything cool. I actually think just going into child's pose (look it up) if you feel overwhelmed on occasion would show great self-confidence, but maybe others disagree. Definitely don't talk to him during the class.

@happylittletree what would you recommend I wear?

@bangheadhere40 It's a tricky one isn't it? I definitely think attraction can and does grow over time, however, I think by date 5 there really should be some sort of attraction starting to develop if it is ever going to. I initially felt similar about my last iron Mr Copper. He was completely not my type and I actually felt really disappointed when we first met irl as he didn't look at good as his pictures. I gave him another chance and by the end of date 2 I found myself warming to him. By date 5 I thought he was the hottest man on the planet! It really does seem a shame when everything else about him seems so right, but I think there has to be a level of sexual attraction there, otherwise surely it's just a friendship?

[quote Eesha]@happylittletree what would you recommend I wear?[/quote]
I would wear leggings and a nice comfortable top over a comfortable sports bra - yoga is all about slowish movements and comfort

backonthehorse the thing is I do find him a good looking man, so I'm not entirely sure why I don't fancy him.

Really tricky...not sure what to do☹

@bangheadhere40 what about when you kiss him. That's when I know if there is any attraction there. If not then after 5 dates I don't expect it will happen.

notcool I've kissed him but no not really. I know what you mean....just feel like I would be letting one of the 'good ones' go, and guess I'm hoping the attraction will grow.

I think I will see him for 6th date and if I'm still not feeling it I will say, the last thing I want to do is lead him on.

@ZoZoBo Thank you! It's bikram yoga so would that make any sort of difference

[quote Eesha]@ZoZoBo Thank you! It's bikram yoga so would that make any sort of difference[/quote]
Ooh think that’s hot yoga 🥵 less clothes the better then

@Eesha I would wear a top that's comfortable but not baggy. If you do inversions (upside down), then your shirt will be annoying and embarrassing.

I'd wear some kind of moisture wicking shorts, sports bra, and form fitting tank top. If you are super body confident you don't have to wear the top over your sports bra!

Make sure to hydrate and definitely do child's pose if you're struggling. I've almost passed out at Bikram yoga multiple times.

@happylittletree oh no, ive never done yoga before so the last thing I want is to pass out!

I'm not trying to scare you! Lots of people really enjoy Bikram yoga. I probably just have a particularly strong reaction to the heat. It's a very good workout.

Hi all
Still lurking. And finally just had a date after nothing for months. Met him online this morning and met him an hour later by the woods near me. Quite fanciable and better than pics. He has three DC under 10 though so not what I was looking for but I actually dont really know what that is. Going to go with flow if he gets in touch.
Another bloke I've been chatting to all week but lives 40miles away,seems to know my village well. Asking me which street I live in,not in a weird way,more banter. I just gave him area. Anyway,he messaged on pof he was the binmen lorry driver and was going past said streets right now so I hid behind my blind and saw him go by!! Actually,very naughty being on pof whilst driving but I was too embarrassed to think about that at time.
I also have a khakastan Barbour 13yrs my junior wanting a coffee who seems ok in messages but too young!
I had no interest for months and since last week it's gone a bit crazy

Hello all, can I join in this chat please ?? Fairly new to dating, I left my husband of 25 yrs last Autumn. I had no intention on seeing anyone but my best friend signed me up and I thought oh why not. Am after some advice on "hook ups" if anyone is experienced. I really don't have the time, energy or headspace for a relationship at the moment and just want to have fun and explore my sexuality. I am chatting to a few men with the aim of meeting but can't talk to anyone in real life about it ! How does it all work ???!!!!! Is the expectation there that you will be intimate if you meet or can you walk away at any time if you don't fancy them in the flesh, where do you go (not mine kids at home) going to his feels too risky, oh so many questions !! Anyone...

Is the expectation there that you will be intimate if you meet or can you walk away at any time if you don't fancy them in the flesh,

Of course you can always walk away if you don't fancy someone. Agreeing to a hook up doesn't mean you have to go through with it if you don't fancy them, or for any other reason for that matter! You dont owe anyone sex. Your body is your own.