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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it OK for dp to have naked photos of ex-girlfriends on the family computer?!

131 replies

bigwombat · 30/09/2007 20:49

Just browsing randomly through the family laptop (kept in living room) when I came across 2 photos of one of dp's very treasured ex-girlfriends (tasteful but still naked!!) along with loads of other clothed ones. She was basically the love of his life but dumped him. I started seeing him a few months after they stopped seeing each other for the 2nd time (first went out 15 years before, he then left his wife for her more recently but it didn't work out).

There are also naked photos of another mysterious woman!

Is it commonplace for men to keep such photos of past lovers or am I right to be a bit bothered? It was on a computer used by everyone including dd1 so he obviously didn't feel he needed to hide it. Also he has never shown any interest in photographing me naked!!

OP posts:
NutterlyUts · 30/09/2007 20:50

Think thats V odd

Megglevampire · 30/09/2007 20:50

Errrrm Nope, I would say it isn't common to keep nude ones..

Personally I would not like it.

Megglevampire · 30/09/2007 20:51

BWB. How do you think your dh would feel if you had the same?

Rhubarb · 30/09/2007 20:51

Sorry but I had to check your profile there because I thought for a mo that you must be making this up! The reason for that is that this is so unreasonable of him it's laughable! NO men do not have photos of their naked exes and I'm positive you will have a huge response saying the same.

Don't stand for it. Confront him and demand he delete the pics. Dirty git!

faylisa · 30/09/2007 20:51

I wouldn't personally want my DH to have those kind of pics of his exes.

spottyshoes · 30/09/2007 20:53

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

themildmanneredjanitor · 30/09/2007 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fransmom · 30/09/2007 20:53

er no, it's not ok

i think the fact that you have posted about it on mn has shown that you aren't ok about it either. was it password protected? i think that you could see it so easily, probably not. i too would feel horribly uneasy about dc being able to see pics of naked people at such ayoung age.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 30/09/2007 20:53

Rhubs

Thee and me both.

This is not normal.

daisyandbabybootoo · 30/09/2007 20:53

Most definately not OK....

I recently found some photos of some random half naked woman on DHs computer and gave him the third degree. He came up with a plausible explanation (it was basically a scan of a set of contact prints that he said was the first ones he grabbed out of his archive and were the girlfriend of a friend who he was doing some portrait shots for the friends birthday.....)

He said just delete it if it bothers you, so have no reason to doubt him.

Let him know that you're not happy about it and could they please be deleted.

Or, just delete them yourself!

LadyTophamHatt · 30/09/2007 20:55

Rhurarb, I checked the profile too, for the same reasons!

I wouldn't be happy if DH had photos of he's ex's full stop, let alone naken ones.

controlfreaky2 · 30/09/2007 20:56

it doesnt really matter one jot what any of us think.......
it's what you think that matters.
if you dont like it talk to him and sort it out.

morningpaper · 30/09/2007 20:57

I actually have nude photos of ex-boyfriends

I haven't given it any thought to be honest

Although I may view them occasionally with a cheery smile

themildmanneredjanitor · 30/09/2007 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lomondgal · 30/09/2007 21:00

Not normal at all, I would go crazy! Worse than having photos of strangers, I would talk to him about it. Who is the other woman? would be one of my q's, is it another ex?

expatinscotland · 30/09/2007 21:00

Bizarro. Do you have kids with this bloke? TBH, back in my single days, this would have been a dealbreaker for me. We all have baggage, but at least make an effort to keep it on the down low from your new boyfriend/girlfriend. I mean, WTF?

WideWebWitch · 30/09/2007 21:00

er no
100% no

expatinscotland · 30/09/2007 21:01

Also, who goes on to their new partner about how this ex was the love of their life and you'd still be with them if they hadn't dumped you?

That's so insensitive and rude.

Sure, it happens, but why visit this on your new partner? It's not their fault.

morningpaper · 30/09/2007 21:01

No they are full on perv shots

Why keep them? Hmm I don't know really, why not? I've got boxes of pictures and letters from ex-partners, is a nude shot any worse?

I always think it's something rather jolly that I will enjoy when I'm in the old people's home

WelshBoris · 30/09/2007 21:01

Not so much the ex, but whos this new bird/???!!!

Well Ok no to the ex aswell but the unknown woman is a worry

themildmanneredjanitor · 30/09/2007 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigwombat · 30/09/2007 21:04

Lol that you all think I'm making this up, well I guess I don't trust my own judgment very much any more! I started a thread once about feeling threatened about dp having a lot of female friends and mainly got shot down in flames! So I am trying as much as possible to be open-minded, but this seems a bit too much, especially as I know how much he liked this woman. Perhaps he has just forgotten to delete them, but I think he is just one of these people who likes to hang on to memories. I know for certain he is not still seeing either of these women...

OP posts:
morningpaper · 30/09/2007 21:04

I didn't take the photos

He sent them to me

I rather like a naked young man

can't believe I am admitting this in a non-chat topic

expatinscotland · 30/09/2007 21:04

We just moved and we had so much stuff it wasn't true. Thankfully it didn't include naked photos of ex's, letters, cards, etc.

Let it go!

vicm · 30/09/2007 21:04

everyone's got a past - but maybe he can consign the naked bits of his to the trash section on the laptop- why dont you get him a digital camera and treat yourself to some new undies!