Is it OK for dp to have naked photos of ex-girlfriends on the family computer?!

[bigwombat]

Just browsing randomly through the family laptop (kept in living room) when I came across 2 photos of one of dp's very treasured ex-girlfriends (tasteful but still naked!!) along with loads of other clothed ones. She was basically the love of his life but dumped him. I started seeing him a few months after they stopped seeing each other for the 2nd time (first went out 15 years before, he then left his wife for her more recently but it didn't work out).

There are also naked photos of another mysterious woman!

Is it commonplace for men to keep such photos of past lovers or am I right to be a bit bothered? It was on a computer used by everyone including dd1 so he obviously didn't feel he needed to hide it. Also he has never shown any interest in photographing me naked!!

I'm booking the chair next to hers when we're in the old gimmers retirement lodge.

your dp sounds like a prize cock

"Obsessive monogamism"

Otherwise known as standard heterosexual relationships. You know the kind, the ones where people stand up in church and say "forsaking all others". I missed the bit where it was added "except the dirty pics I still have of my ex". I realise bigwombat is talking about her dp, but the point still stands.

I wonder how his ex would feel knowing he was hanging on to these photos.

Well he still has the pics on his private computer so they aren't completely deleted, just gone from the possible viewing of dds. We both have memorabilia from past relationships (mind you, don't have nude photos of past bfs), I was just surprised to come across this stuff in a 'public' place! Thanks for all your comments!

You could make a backup of everything that you have to keep. Thereafter make sure that the computer crashes and everything on that computer will be lost.

No. No no no a thousand times no.

Delete them all and download a hundred pics of willies.

He is seriously taking the piss now.

Morning wombat > I hate it when men do that 'oh silly you!what a fuss' thing, almost as bad as the 'you're being paranoid' thing. What I think is a bit weird is why are they on the family computer? Surely he must have downloaded them onto there whilst you have been together? Its also the history of this ex. Sounds like she has messed him about big time, calling it off, calling it on when he's married, calling it off again... Sounds like a case of she likes having him at her beck and call. Maybe thats why he's avoiding her now so at least he doesn't want to go there again.

Hi newy, this was his laptop before we got together, so I suppose the pictures were on here then. He seems to do back-ups from this computer to his own and vice versa occasionally. I think you're spot on about his ex - she has absolutely messed him about over the years (more recently dumping him and then going back to him loads of times) and I think he finally thinks she is best avoided!

Hopefully, she isn't on MN!

WTF? This man has you so cowed that you are questioning whether is is ok for him to be pawing over naked pictures of his ex?

Here is is in large print

NO IT IS NOT OK, TEAR HIM A NEW ARSEHOLE!

NO IT IS NOT OK, TEAR HIM A NEW ARSEHOLE!

LMAO thats a claasic!

Are you joking????

Of course it's not ok - absolutely no excuse could justify this.

No.

Those of you who think it's OK to destroy another person's property without consulting them, just because your monogamy obsession makes you incapable of accepting that they ever had any kind of a sex life before they met you... how healthy are your actual relationships, I wonder? Do many of them tend to be a bit short lived?

Living monogomously does not give someone a monogomousness obsession. It does, however, give one certain expectations of monogomousness on the part of one's partner, who presumably agreed to live monogomously too.

So, this is not about expectations of monogomousness, but about expectations of mutual respect. When you are living within a mutually monogomous relationship, you have the right to expect mutual monogomy, and all the trappings of sexual loyaly and respect that go with that.

Now, can we stop using that word please, it's long,. and I find it challenging to type.

IMHO - I think that it's easier to type monogamy

I'm sure if bigwombat had pic of her ex displaying his mahoosive willy in a come hither kind of way on the family computer, MrWombat might also feel a bit peeved and do some deleting. That's not "obsessive monogamy", that's a normal human reaction.

Why is it so awful? Do none of you keep love letters or pictures of your exes? Why is this so much worse?

I think half of you would wipe your husband's MEMORIES of all other naked women if you could!

funny lot

It's the "naked on the computer" bit that would bother me, it's hardly a memory is it? Or a shoe box under the bed?

It's weird. i wouldn't like to think of any of my ex's doing tyhat with my picture.

well it's not WEIRD if it was a digital picture

that's how you STORE them

I'd FAR rather my husband was looking at naked pictures of his exes than looking up porn

At least he had mututally loving and respectful relationships with his exes

It seems a lot nicer to me

But you don't need to store them on the family computer if you have another one. You don't photocopy love letters from your exes and have a second box of them in the lounge for everyone to look at. People do have past sex lives but it is inconsiderate to flaunt them in front of a new partner!

It's weird that he's still looking at them, is all. It is. It's weird!

would you look at an ex's shlong?

Having his missus seraching through his old photographs is hardly "flaunting" them in front of her is it?!

In the circs you describe (and tbh, I can't think of any acceptable circs), no it's not ok.

Love love love UCM's 'Jack and Danny' euphemism