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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it OK for dp to have naked photos of ex-girlfriends on the family computer?!

131 replies

bigwombat · 30/09/2007 20:49

Just browsing randomly through the family laptop (kept in living room) when I came across 2 photos of one of dp's very treasured ex-girlfriends (tasteful but still naked!!) along with loads of other clothed ones. She was basically the love of his life but dumped him. I started seeing him a few months after they stopped seeing each other for the 2nd time (first went out 15 years before, he then left his wife for her more recently but it didn't work out).

There are also naked photos of another mysterious woman!

Is it commonplace for men to keep such photos of past lovers or am I right to be a bit bothered? It was on a computer used by everyone including dd1 so he obviously didn't feel he needed to hide it. Also he has never shown any interest in photographing me naked!!

OP posts:
morningpaper · 30/09/2007 21:05

I have photos of all my ex-bfs I think

And naked photos of one

And lots of naked photos of ME from my youth

So I can look back fondly

expatinscotland · 30/09/2007 21:06

The combination of naked photos of his ex, and the way you know they'd still be together if she hadn't dumped him, and of this mysterious woman would = DTMFA to me.

Sorry, but it would.

Family laptop.

In living room.

Photos of naked birds.

Maybe his ex dumped him because he was a liar.

bigwombat · 30/09/2007 21:06

Not sure who the 'new bird' is, but think she is just someone from the past (of which his is fairly colourful )

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 30/09/2007 21:07

Yeah, we've all got a past, but it's the past.

kimi · 30/09/2007 21:07

In answer to OP[, NO NO NO NO NO push the delete button and then deny all knowledge of said photos of where they went.

pigletmaker · 30/09/2007 21:09

my theory is, if its not ok with you, its not ok. everyone is different - go with your gut.

newy · 30/09/2007 21:10

MP - wish I led to life you have...

I think its more worrying that the ex seems like such a massive deal - is she still a problem for you wombat? Naked pics or no?

fransmom · 30/09/2007 21:13

i don't thin you are making it up. fwiw i had the same issue with xp and when we first started going out he still had pics of his xw on the phone. i also deleted them and denied knowledge of said act but it was the way he reacted that told me how he really felt.

(((((((((((((((((((bwb)))))))))))))))))

bigwombat · 30/09/2007 21:13

I think she hangs over us a little bit sometimes - we are still friends with quite a few people who know her and hear about her life from time to time. Sometimes she is even at the same social events, but dp is determined to avoid her, because dealing with her at all bothers him - and he says he doesn't want to upset me in any way, which I believe.

OP posts:
fransmom · 30/09/2007 21:14

please ask him then why has he got pics on his laptop, esp naked ones that his dc could see

bigwombat · 30/09/2007 21:18

Thanks fransmom, I think I will say to him that I have come across these photos, that they have bothered me and that I don't want my dd to come across them - and that I would like to delete them. And then see what his reaction is.

OP posts:
newy · 30/09/2007 21:19

I would go mad about the naked pics thing though. You could always have them digitally remastered to look like a total minger (assuming she isn't one here)
How long have you been together?

fransmom · 30/09/2007 21:19

good for you. is he there now? how are you atm? silly question i know but i found that it helps to know that people are thining of me, it kind of gave me strength.

((((((((((((bwb)))))))))

bigwombat · 30/09/2007 21:20

lol newy, unfortunately she is quite attractive. About 18 mths.

OP posts:
bigwombat · 30/09/2007 21:21

Thanks fransmom, he has gone to get a takeway! I will tackle him when he gets back!

OP posts:
UCM · 30/09/2007 21:22

I would hate that, specially if she was skinny!!!!! I would pour milk into the pc

expatinscotland · 30/09/2007 21:23

He's not over her. Because he doesn't want to be.

groggymama · 30/09/2007 21:26

I'd eat the takeaway first

newy · 30/09/2007 21:26

If you're happy with the relationship in other ways and he's not pining for her then I guess it could be down to 'sentimental' reasons. I still have my album from my first wedding because I was younger and wearing a big frock not to see ex's stupid face. Appreciate your situation is different so would go along with those already posted and ask him to delete. Find out who the other girl is though.
If it makes you feel better, I think my DH has pics of his ex stashed away somewhere and still waters her plants from time to time (that's not a euphemism all those with dirty minds!) I've never actually met her and we've been together 8 years. It bothered me at first but really isn't an issue anymore.

newy · 30/09/2007 21:27

With you groggy, would then grab him by the prawn balls..

bigwombat · 30/09/2007 21:28
Grin
OP posts:
UCM · 30/09/2007 21:31

Newy if I found a photograph of Dh's ex with her 'Jack & Danny' hanging out, I would be very annoyed. Sentiment would not be high on my list.

fransmom · 30/09/2007 21:37

what's j&d ucm????????

UCM · 30/09/2007 21:39

it's a fanny mate

fransmom · 30/09/2007 21:39

ahhh

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