'I preferred you when you weren't as big'

[hopingtobedally]

What are your thoughts on this comment? You are discussing with your OH how he appears to not show any attraction to you anymore
You have gained weight over the years however so your husband also has and he's aged very badly yet you never say a word

If you are happy with your weight, I'd tell him to get stuffed. If you're not, then I'd point out he's put loads on too and suggest you try and lose it together?

It's a very tactless comment, and I'd be hurt by it.

I would be offended. There’s other ways of wording things such as “I’m feeling really unhealthy and bloated after this lockdown, why don’t we both go on a health kick together to support each other”

He's now an exh!

I tell my dh he gets a new woman every few years !
I'm a yoyo dieter by a good few stones.

"I preferred you when you weren't as rude!"

I'd say "that's a bit rich coming from you." It would be harsh if he had maintained a trim physique but a bit hypocritical if he has gained too.

Neither tactful nor tactless if he hadn't put on weight or was aging well .... Very hypocritical and angering given he has.

(and had not in terms of aged well).

I did ask him to be honest
I just don't know what to do now

"I’m feeling really unhealthy and bloated after this lockdown, why don’t we both go on a health kick together to support each other”

Isn't that manipulative and dishonest?

If you asked OP, he gave you an honest answer. It might be that you could say the same about him but it doesn't change the truth.

Don't think he's been rude at all??

You were having the conversation together, what would you want him to say ?

If you're feeling the same way about him then I guess its time you both face the music and get moving or separate if lack of attraction in your relstionship is a deal breaker.

@hopingtobedally

I did ask him to be honest I just don't know what to do now

You asked him to be honest but don't like his honest answer? Should he have lied then?

Well you asked! I prefer my OH when he's slimmer. If he asked me I'd be equally as honest.

Tbh OP if you asked then I don't have much sympathy.

Did you want him to lie?

Ah the old - I'll ask him to be honest but then feel upset/offended when he gives me an honest answer"!

How do you feel about your looks/weight? If your not comfortable with it then make changes for YOU not him. Then when you're looking good and he starts paying attention you can tell him no because he's aged and put on weight!

He’s being honest with you though? I prefer my DH without the extra two stone he’s carrying.
He knows I do too.
I’m a stone heavier than when we met but trying to lose it as I don’t like it either.
What’s wrong with being honest? Attraction is important

Could you say we BOTH need health kick! Hinting to him, stern expression? What works for you?

I’ll be honest - I wouldn’t still fancy someone if they gained loads of weight. Are we talking just 1-2 stone? If it’s more than that you probably look totally different.

Op did you start a thread about this a short while ago. Either that or we have two posters whose husband said th exact same thing and who reacted th exact same way,

He's being honest, would you rather he lied about why he's less attracted to you these days?

It’s a bit passive aggressive.
Some questions are best not asked. Some answers needed to be skillfully delivered.

I think you are being unfair. You asked him. Is he meant to lie to you?

Yes you can tell him he's put on weight too but I am pretty sure he has worked that out for himself.

I would he upset but glad he was honest I gained 3 stone and I knew my do didn't fined me attractive anymore it's devistating but I understood as well it's not attractive .
I've lost the weight I put on but put myself under huge pressure in the process .
Never again will I do that for anyone if your happy with your weight tell him to fuck off if not suggest a diet together .

Sorry for the typos

Lose some weight and you will gain some confidence. Make him get really jealous of you looking better