Clare's Law Help?

[CagedBirdwithoutAKey]

Hi,

I decided to make a Clare's Law request weeks ago on my DP; not for any particular reason, just possibly a gut feeling of some sort

Anyway, Police guy called me back just now to basically say they're speaking with other agencies etc., but asked me if he stays over, and said if so, don't let him again, for my own safety He said he couldn't disclose much at this stage, so I asked him to just tell me if he was telling me this because something had come back, and he basically said yes

Has anyone had the same happen further to a CL request?

So don’t let him stay over.

Until the full report comes through it looks like initial enquiries have come back with something that puts you at risk.

It may or may not be corroborated on further investigation, and when you have the full information you can decide whether the risk is acceptable.

But for now, safeguard yourself.

One of the legal agreements you have to make regarding CL is not to talk about it with anyone else. It is completely confidential information meant for you only. If the police are saying this to you its because their hands are tied at this stage (its a long process) but they are worried about you. Take it seriously. Id be ending the relationship (carefully over the phone, its me not you etc) and changing all the locks if he's ever had acess to your keys.

My sister did Claire’s law on a guy she was dating, turned out he had a very bad history of violence, be careful if you have kids because they referred her to SS.

No, but bear in mind that Clare's Law will not have shown up unless it was something serious.

Oh he definitely won't be staying again, that's for sure!!

There has never been any DV in the two years, but certain things just stick out to me. He's always been great with my 3 DC. Tbh, that's it now

Oh he definitely won't be staying again, that's for sure!!

There has never been any DV in the two years, but certain things just stick out to me. He's always been great with my 3 DC. Tbh, that's it now

@Mikeuniform in what way? Do you mean you think by the Police guy ringing me at this stage something has come up?

The staying over part stands out to me. Its not plain dont see him again but asking specifically if he stays over. I would be worried it related to child abuse. Can you check the sex offenders register or Google his name and your area for more info in the meantime?

Something has very obviously come up OP as the police have contacted you after you made the application to warn you. How is that not clear?

Have you ever googled him?
I had a friend in an abusive relationship. I looked him up, it wasn’t pretty reading luckily she’s no longer with him.

@CagedBirdwithoutAKey, I'm not familiar with CL, but when my friend was attacked by her long term boyfriend, he was charged with assault. I think it should have been ABH, but the police were crap

That incident would not show up on Claire's Law. I think if she had been living with him at the time, it might.

@LycraLoving how do I check a sex offenders register?

No idea to be honest i am just assuming its online somewhere. I've never checked it.

It doesn’t always show up online, I found out my ex went to prison for beating up his ex before me and there is not a single thing about it online.

The sex offenders’ register is not online.

Oh goodness, that sounds pretty serious. Hope you're safe and get more information soon.

Oh crap OP, that sounds like a horrible position to be in.

Out of interest, what was it that made you submit the request? What were the red flags?

Oh sorry, rubbish advice there then.

I just rang the Police back to ask a few more questions!

Basically, this other guy I spoke to just said it's usual for anyone with DC, to be told whilst they're awaiting the disclosure, to ease off from the relationship / don't have them stay over.

Red flags, erm... I guess a few... he's 54 and has never held a relationship for longer than 3 years, never married, no kids, drinks a lot, and some more which I won't go into (nothing severe or major!)

The sex offenders list is not online, but you can make a separate application through Sarah's law to see if your children are at risk.

You might be able to google his name eg "John Smith" "Court" "(area)" to see if he's ever appeared in court. (area may not be relevant if he has moved). Use the brackets to narrow down the search.

Do not ask him anything and don't let him know you have any suspicions yet until you know what you are dealing with.

Please, please listen to the police. Not only would I not have him stay over I would be looking at exiting this relationship pretty quickly with safeguards in place. I got a background Clares law check done on someone and they had me in to the police station pretty quickly then I was shown the evidence then put on a telephone priority system. This meant that I told the police I would be finishing the relationship immediately after walking out of the station and if the man tried to harass or contact me I would call the police and I would be immediately dealt with. Good luck and listen to what they recommend.

Apart from the drinking, nothing sounds to suspicious, especially with your update after ringing the police back. Wait until they tell you what's what. But I think there must be more for your to have requested the report?

After reading your update, I would wait for the police to finish their checks before making any decisions. It's not all that strange to have not been married before, and to have had shorter relationships.

Well, let's just say, I wouldn't recommend these to anyone Still no answers ...

Just keep saying he's known on their system, which I know (for drunken disorderly), but still cannot divulge anymore!

So we've separated now, as the Police don't seem to want to pull their fingers out and give me an answer.... I could be dead by now!

Well done on ending it with him.