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Original poster

Clare's Law Help?

139 replies

CagedBirdwithoutAKey · 17/07/2020 14:56

Hi,

I decided to make a Clare's Law request weeks ago on my DP; not for any particular reason, just possibly a gut feeling of some sort Hmm

Anyway, Police guy called me back just now to basically say they're speaking with other agencies etc., but asked me if he stays over, and said if so, don't let him again, for my own safety Shock He said he couldn't disclose much at this stage, so I asked him to just tell me if he was telling me this because something had come back, and he basically said yes Shock

Has anyone had the same happen further to a CL request?

OP posts:
Original poster
CagedBirdwithoutAKey · 20/07/2020 17:22

@DisobedientHamster but I think I've ended it unnecessarily Confused

OP posts:
BlankTimes · 20/07/2020 17:34

I think I've ended it unnecessarily

It's very rare that someone who is arrested for a crime and has a criminal record serious enough to be included in Claire's Law would be a first offender who had never done anything like that before.

It's more than likely that anyone who has made it onto that list has a history of offences, not necessarily prosecutions.

I'd say you've dodged a bullet by them confirming that he's known to the Police for something, it won't be trivial.

FootInBothShoes · 20/07/2020 17:50

You can make a separate enquiry under the child sex offenders disclosure scheme (Sarah's Law) re the children but, tbh, if you've already ended it, and so the children won't be alone with him, then they won't disclose anything because there'd be no reason to.

Cakequeen1988 · 20/07/2020 18:34

I made one on an ex partner after he was violent to me. I was not told he couldn’t stay over or given any warning. The fact you are being warned I feel is very relevant and it’s great you have broken this off at this stage until you have all the info.

Despite him attacking me (foolishly I didn’t press charges) and having previous for ABH (unrelatedly to a partner) his result was clear, he was no known risk to a partner.

The fact you have been given this warning is important!

HatRack · 20/07/2020 18:55

Can you complain to your mp about the way the police have handled this?

Original poster
CagedBirdwithoutAKey · 20/07/2020 18:58

@HatRack they just keep telling me it's because of COVID, and the increase in applications due to the increase in DV cases Sad

OP posts:
Glitterandunicorns · 20/07/2020 19:34

Hi OP. I am not a police officer, although I have worked with them often in the past.

If I've understood you correctly, there were some issues in your relationship with this person which left you concerned enough to make a Claire's Law application. A police officer then contacted you to give you a warning about this person.

I accept that you may not have had a formal response regarding your application and that this is frustrating, but you have not ended your relationship erroneously.

You obviously had concerns initially, and frankly, especially given you've got children, that is enough to end a relationship. You said there were factors other than this person not having been married, and whatever they are, if you're concerned, then that's your prerogative.

The police officer warned you, and I would suspect that he/she is well aware of the increase in DV issues in these lockdown times, and they knew an application would take a while to go through. They have done the best they can by you. A formal response to your application would be nice, but you've already basically been told to end the relationship and be careful.

Contacting an MP will do nothing, unless they have the power to give the authorities responsible for dealing with DV more funding.

Best of luck, OP.

bluebluezoo · 20/07/2020 20:13

Can you complain to your mp about the way the police have handled this?

Complain to your MP about lack of funding and staffing for officers.

It’s not the police handling at fault here. They have contacted OP in a timely manner to warn her of the immediate risk. Yes they’re taking their time over a full report but that’s a staffing/budget issue. Complaining about the police won’t make any difference because they can’t go any faster.

Most police forces are in deep shit now anyway. CV has cost them fortunes covering those who are shielding or quarantined, and the workload has been higher than ever. Our local force has a massive deficit post lockdown and no doubt there’ll be a recruiting freeze to compensate.

LillianBland · 20/07/2020 20:18

I’m curious, OP, are you much younger than him? I ask, because you say you have three children.

mindutopia · 20/07/2020 20:26

I think you’ve made a wise choice. Don’t second guess yourself.

You could try a separate Sarah’s Law application, though in my experience, it’s a similar run around. I was told that police couldn’t tell me anything but they advised me to keep this person away from my dc (it was a family member, not a partner) and if I didn’t SS would hold me responsible if anything happened. Not helpful. I know now that this person had a history of child sex offences.

You may also be able to find something online. I was able to find case records and then hired a PI to find a bit more.

It is a typical condition of a sexual harm prevention order (usually condition of release with some sexual offences) to not be allowed to stay overnight in the same place as children. Some of what you say about him rings a bell with me. I had similar concerns about someone (not same family member as above), and my instinct definitely proved me right. I think we’ll done for listening to your gut.

Original poster
CagedBirdwithoutAKey · 20/07/2020 21:52

@LillianBland

I’m curious, OP, are you much younger than him? I ask, because you say you have three children.
Yes, I am 18 years younger
OP posts:
Original poster
CagedBirdwithoutAKey · 20/07/2020 21:53

@LillianBland

I’m curious, OP, are you much younger than him? I ask, because you say you have three children.
Yes, I am 18 years younger
OP posts:
Original poster
CagedBirdwithoutAKey · 20/07/2020 21:54

@LillianBland

I’m curious, OP, are you much younger than him? I ask, because you say you have three children.
Yes, I am 18 years younger
OP posts:
Original poster
CagedBirdwithoutAKey · 20/07/2020 21:56

@LillianBland I too, am curious as to why you ask this??

OP posts:
LillianBland · 20/07/2020 21:58

Yes, I am 18 years younger

I suspected as such. I know that there isn’t always an unevenness of the power dynamic in a relationship where there’s a big age difference, but unfortunately there are predatory men that will seek out younger women, so they’re can manipulate them. I think you’ve done the right thing, checking Claire’s Law, for your sake and the sake of your children. Take care and good luck for the future.

Original poster
CagedBirdwithoutAKey · 22/07/2020 12:13

STILL nothing Angry Been on to the guy in charge of my application, and he just keeps fobbing me off!

So much for the '35' day turnaround - today will be day 69 Angry

If you want to ruin your relationship, go ahead and apply for one of these!

Absolutely diabolical, and if there was cause for concern, I could be well dead by now Angry

OP posts:
Comtesse · 22/07/2020 13:15

That is rubbish OP sorry to hear that.

mindutopia · 22/07/2020 13:32

It sounds very frustrating, but I think you need to take a step back and accept that the police have given you information you can act on. You may feel you want all the answers and to know all the details, but if he wasn't a risk, I don't think the police would have said what they said. Does it really matter to your decision if his past involves a DV charge vs child sexual abuse? You are protecting yourself and your children and that's the right thing. I do know the need for information. I needed it too to wrap my head around it all eventually, but it wasn't necessary to make the decision we did to keep that person away from our dc.

EvilPea · 22/07/2020 13:43

Op your getting pissed off at the wrong people. It’s obviously him that’s done something and not told you, it’s him that’s got something in his history that’s flagged up.

The police (especially DV teams) are so over stretched at the moment. You are currently safe so not top priority. They will be protecting the women who really “could be dead by now”. They’ve told you somethings up, they’ve advised you not to let him stay.
They haven’t totally ignored you and let you carry on with no information.
They will give you more information when it’s all back and when they can

Covid has messed so much up and put so many in danger, but for now. You are safe. Someone else is not, and they are protecting them.

Original poster
CagedBirdwithoutAKey · 22/07/2020 14:03

@EvilPea I get what you're saying, but it's not that simple... I have 1 officer telling me this doesn't necessarily mean anything (I know he's known on their system' for drunken disorderly back in his Uni days, but then the other officer is basically saying they tell everyone who has DC the sMe thing about staying, so it doesn't necessarily mean something suspicious.

So this potential that nothing may actually be disclosed could possibly ruin a relationship!

My DP knows I've made the application

OP posts:
Blanca87 · 22/07/2020 14:08

When was he at uni?

Original poster
CagedBirdwithoutAKey · 22/07/2020 14:10

@Blanca87 Ooh, would have been around 1982-ish Hmm He's 54 now

OP posts:
EvilPea · 22/07/2020 14:15

Somethings made you make the application, to raise your suspicions of not all being well.

They haven’t told you to finish with him, just not have him stay over (to protect your children) until the full report is back and then you make a decision with full knowledge of something or nothing.

I’m not sure what your angry with the police for? Like a DBS check this only shows what’s on his record. It doesn’t show if people haven’t contacted the police. So if something in your gut is saying it’s not right, always trust that over what the police have on their system.

Original poster
CagedBirdwithoutAKey · 22/07/2020 14:24

@EvilPea the reason I'm angry is that they are supposed to have the info to you, and basically 'case closed' within 35 days; today marks 69!!

Yes, I get the deal with COVID, but is this really how they're dealing with possible DV suspects/victims?

It's not acceptable

OP posts:
EvilPea · 22/07/2020 14:24

Get angry at the government. Get angry with your MP.
But it’s not the police.

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