Need urgent mortgage help

[Help1307]

We are buying a new house and current house is joint (both earned equally until I had DS2). I was doing bedtime with screaming tired DC and DH asked me to sign a paper saying oh it’s nothing just about how house is shared between us. I signed.

Just seen the email he sent to solicitors and opened the attachment which tbh I wouldn’t usually do bc I trust him and it is now saying we are buying as tenants in common - him 80pc and me 20pc.

Wtf does this mean?

If we buy the new house and we divorce - does this override the fact that we have been together 19 years and have 2 DC?

Does it override fact that normally assets would be split?

Or would it mean that if ever we did divorce I really would only get 20pc of house?

I can’t understand why he has done this. I only earn less than him now as went part after second DS. Otherwise for last 19 years we’ve been pretty much equal.

I’m mad and I don’t even know if I should be.

Am I potentially losing money from last 19 years or just extra that would be paid in respect of new house?

Thank you

I would stay put for now.

Out yourself first over your buyers. Pull out of the sale. Give yourself time to consider your next steps.

This is awful. For someone to do this, then clearly they felt there was an end in sight and were protecting themselves. To con you though is something else entirely.

Stay put until you understand the best route forward, but I suspect it’s going to be moving, unless you can afford the current house yourself.

To do the maths, say for simplicity your new house had cost 300 k. He had 100 k deposit And the other two hundred k was mortgage and equity as stated,

This means that one third is his. The other two thirds is split between you. So it would be thirty three percent yours sixty six his, worst case. Not eighty twenty.

In addition if someone wants to protect their inheritance it’s normal to have a document drawn up to say if the house is sold, then 100k is owed back. The reason for doing it this way, is houses increase in value, so if you do it on a percentage, he would come out with much more, because it would be a percentage of the value and not just the original 100k.

Bottom line is he tried to screw you over and steal from you. I don’t think there is any way back from that.

I know that you need to sort the paperwork out for the mortgage as a priority, I can't add much to that discussion.

But to do this to you, without any discussion and just getting you to sign it when you were sorting DS, is beyond anything you should tolerate! No matter about how much you love him or he's great with DS etc. This man does not have YOUR back. This should be the end. This should be a divorce. You deserve DO much better than this. He's not someone you can trust to go through life with. (Sorry 🌷)

OP, I've been reading since the start and can't believe how this has turned out. My gut would be to stay put as you have a lot going on and don't know the implications of any changes. But I am not an expert. You could ask for this to be moved to the legal board, or start a new thread there with the full run down and see what people suggest.

So sorry, my phone skipped your last post!

Stay put. I can't see that you e git anything to lose. The court won't give you less than 50%

It's a shame for your buyers, but people pull out for far flakier reasons! This is life changing for YOU, far more so than for them. They can buy another house, you can't undo selling your main asset

I'm so sorry you're going through this. There isn't anyway through it with DH & you shouldn't try to find one. He's been Unforgivably awful. Be aware because there's usually a reason men suddenly want to secure their assets from their wives 😥

I wish I could give you a big hug & find you a Shit Hot Lawyer!!

The hardest thing is to accept that the man you love has done thus to you, but you have to get your head around that quickly so you can Protect yourself!!

Stay put.

You would be screwing over yourself and your children to avoid inconveniencing some people, your buyers. Do not engage in such egregious people pleasing!

House sales fall through all the time.

You will probably get more than 50%. Stay where you are. Get hold of money for your divorce solicitor. Do whatever is necessary to get financial facts about your household income and savings. That's needs to be your focus now.

Stop wasting time and energy on anything to do with moving house.

Do not move out because you feel sorry for the buyers, they will get over it. (People pull out for the most ridiculous reasons and this is NOT a ridiculous reason).

You and your DC's are in far far more need so you really must stay and put your DC's future first and foremost in this situation.

Don't ever act under any pressure until you are 100% sure of your position.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I don’t know what to advise but could you get this moved to legal? They’re are solicitors on there that may be able to help.

You need legal advice but I think if you cancel the sale and stay in the house, you might have a chance of keeping it until your youngest child turns 18.

If you sell, you don’t have that option.

If you have signed the contracts for sale, you need to contact the solicitors in writing to tell them you are no longer going through with the sale and those contracts are no longer valid.

Otherwise, if your husband agrees to exchange of contracts, you are then legally bound to sell (since the solicitors would be acting as agents for both of you and you would not have retracted permission for them to do so).

I would stay put. The house may be part of a settlement or it may not need to be sold until your youngest reaches 18 (especially if he can afford to also live). But either way, it is better to wait to find out where you are financially.

So sorry for this OP. The way he has tried to cheat you after 19 years of marriage is truly vile. Yes, stay put. You and your DC need some emotional stability. Put yourselves first. The buyers will recover. Thank goodness you saw that email. Sending virtual hugs

How are you holding up OP? As others have said my view would be to stay put. Try not to worry about impact to other people this is a time for being selfish and putting yourself and the kids first. Please don’t assume a 50/50 split this is just a starting point, when there are children involved their needs come first in settlements and assets have to be looked at in totality,
Please also take time to think, don’t feel under pressure to make big decision. The betrayal you’ve experienced will take time to process. DH has been very naive with his thinking. I don’t know if that’s malicious or not you know him better than any of us but if through talking he can’t see how wrong he was and how underhanded he’s been then that’s a huge red flag.
See another solicitor about next steps and option make use of the free consultations and find somebody you trust. Lots of us have been through the legal system so ask if you need recommendations. Big hugs and good luck

Another vote for stay put and a suggestion to check your home insurance or your employer to see if you have access to a free legal helpline. Sometimes these services can be really good and you don't even realise you have access to them.

I hope you're okay OP, I can't imagine how awful this must be for you

OP another vote for staying put... yes, it sucks for your buyers but you and your children are more important. and btw I too think your husband is a prize prick

Oh @Help1307 my heart is breaking for you, this is shocking beyond belief. To be honest if it was me I don't think I could recover the trust from this. Stay put in your own house, look after yourself and your children. for you.

Playing devils advocate here but.... if your husband isn't normally a shitty person are you sure he knows what the document means? Is it possible that mortgage advisor or someone has recommended this move in order for you to get the mortgage so he has just gone along with it not thinking it would ever be a problem. I wouldn't agree to it as it will leave you in the shit if you divorce or if he were to die (if he makes a will leaving his part to someone other than you) but I think you just need to ask him about it first

Sorry thought I had read rtft before I posted but clearly didn't so ignore me!

I think as you say the house sale and the underhand paperwork is only the tip of the iceberg. You may well be being gas lighted at full pelt now - I didn't mean it that way, you're making this into something its not; you're mental !! All Im trying to do is set our family up for the future etc etc. He will put a lot of pressure on you to do what he wants, well if he really wants to go ahead with the sell and buy - insist he rips up that legal split. If the marriage doesn't work out and this is a real test of it, then you want any split of assets to be based on everyones needs at the circumstances of the split not a pre-organised split that only favours one party

Can you contact the solicitors. Tell them you didn't realise what you signed and that it was a mistake and get them to send a new agreement. If the house hasn't gone through then that will be fine.

Re divorce, I think it's irrelevant because some couples have lots of buy to lets sometimes in one persons name but everything is split equally and you are already married. Does he know that you know and have you asked him about it?

And you might be best just staying in the current house, assuming that is joint and he hasn't changed something behind your back

Don't exchange contracts. If you're going to divorce the current property would (probably) be the main asset to split (apologies have not read full thread). If you sell, sols may not release funds if they are aware of matrimonial dispute (they shouldn't until there is an agreement as to the split). Did you put funds into this property equally, or enter into a Declaration of Trust (recording or protecting funds put into the property when you purchased)? Do you know if you hold this property as joint tenants or tenants in common, and if TIC is it 50/50 split? That said, you would most likely be awarded over 50% of equity due to length of marriage, if you have set back your career to raise children, if you are main carer etc.

I am a licensed conveyancer and have been through divorce myself. Please PM me if I can help further.

Do not accept half the house proceeds. You may be entitled to more -esp if the children are with you most of the time. Also consider what other assets you have together.

Stay cool and don’t let your DH have too much information.

Either don’t sell current house, or have proceeds frozen and held by solicitor until you negotiate a settlement.

Hope you’re ok op