Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Need urgent mortgage help

253 replies

Help1307 · 13/07/2020 21:34

We are buying a new house and current house is joint (both earned equally until I had DS2). I was doing bedtime with screaming tired DC and DH asked me to sign a paper saying oh it’s nothing just about how house is shared between us. I signed.

Just seen the email he sent to solicitors and opened the attachment which tbh I wouldn’t usually do bc I trust him and it is now saying we are buying as tenants in common - him 80pc and me 20pc.

Wtf does this mean?

If we buy the new house and we divorce - does this override the fact that we have been together 19 years and have 2 DC?

Does it override fact that normally assets would be split?

Or would it mean that if ever we did divorce I really would only get 20pc of house?

I can’t understand why he has done this. I only earn less than him now as went part after second DS. Otherwise for last 19 years we’ve been pretty much equal.

I’m mad and I don’t even know if I should be.

Am I potentially losing money from last 19 years or just extra that would be paid in respect of new house?

Thank you

OP posts:
Shylo · 13/07/2020 21:41

Wow! That would be the end of my relationship if that were me!!

I’m not sure where it leaves you given you are married, But if you weren’t you would certainly be reduced To owning only 80% of the house .

However, your husband must certainly think that this means you are entitled to less of the house otherwise why would he do it? And that’s why it would be the end of the relationship to me; he’s deliberately shafted you .

I’m so sorry. Unless you’ve signed the house sale papers and purchase papers nothing is lost yet ......

pinkbowl · 13/07/2020 21:41

A quick google shows me that a tennents in common mortgage allows people to own differnt percentages of a property.
I think you need to have a chat with DH about that one.

wasnotwasweregood · 13/07/2020 21:56

This is not good OP, I would get this also posted in legal for some 'proper' legal perspective but yes it 'divvies' up the value of the property. Your DH is effectively saying that he is putting up 80% of your deposit and mortgage contributions. Presumably if you've been contributing equally until DC2 has come along this is untrue? How it works if you broke up as a married couple I have no idea, but I wouldn't like this either.
How is the rest of your relationship? Has he form for sneakiness?

SkyeIsPink · 13/07/2020 21:59

I think you should post in legal.

But from a moral and relationship perspective, this sounds really shit of him. I feel like he's gotten you to sign something under false pretences, at a time when he knew you would be too busy to read it properly. It doesn't sound like he sees you as equal partners.

HellonHeels · 13/07/2020 22:00

I think you'd better not go ahead with this house purchase. Your DH sounds like a prick.

uselessdiyer · 13/07/2020 22:00

I would massively re-consider this relationship if I were you. It's a disgrace that he done this without discussing with you. I'm not married and recently bought with DP as joint owners but I filled out all the paperwork myself mainly as he was working away, he signed and never questioned anything as he trusts me. I'm sorry he has done this but this is a big deal and I wouldn't be going ahead until it was 50/50.

BurtsBeesKnees · 13/07/2020 22:07

Please speak to the solicitor and estate agent at 9am tomorrow and pull out of the house purchase immediately!!

Yes it does mean that if you split he'll get 80% of the equity. This was a deliberate and deceitful act on his part and for me it would be the end of the relationship

What a fucking bastard

Ilikewinter · 13/07/2020 22:11

Wow just wow.....cant really say more than that.
What a total and utter shit he is....im sorry hes done this to you, id get onto the solicitor first thing and get that paperwork retracted.

Hall84 · 13/07/2020 22:11

Call your solicitor first thing and advise it was signed in error. As far as I remember they have to speak to you both separately on completion day but it's been a while!

Original poster
Help1307 · 13/07/2020 22:12

Thank you - have posted in legal. Just trying to understand what this means if you’re married and whether it overrides what the law says on marriage if a couple divorces.

I am in shock tbh. Just need to get head around it before I speak to him or a solicitor and get my questions right with some understanding myself too.

OP posts:
PenelopePitstop49 · 13/07/2020 22:16

Wow, that's seriously fucked up of him.

I'd be on the phone to the solicitor at 9am, and explaining you were duped into signing.

Then I'd be asking to be put through to the divorce department.

familylawsolicitor · 13/07/2020 22:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BurtsBeesKnees · 13/07/2020 22:18

Even if the marriage did over ride this paper you signed. Are you really going to risk leaving it in place?

Let alone what an utter bastard your dh has turned out to be. You almost seem reluctant to stand your ground and tell him he can stick his 80% up his arse

MostlyHappyMummy · 13/07/2020 22:18

Sounds like he’s waiting til you move house before leaving you
Might be easiest to refuse to sell your current house

GhostOfMe · 13/07/2020 22:18

Is this documentation for mortgage or purchase?
For a start I'd refuse to go ahead with signing the final contract unless that document is removed and house is purchased as normal, not as tenants in common. Ask in legal re what to do. And how to word an email to the solicitor. I'd be informing the solicitor ASAP by email so in writing that your signature on that paper didn't include informed consent and that your DH tricked you into signing it when you were under pressure. That you don't consent to the change and that unless this is ammended ASAP you will be withdrawing from the contract. Do not purchase a house with that condition in there. Personally I wouldn't be committing to a new mortgage with him at all.

Deal with the legal issue first, its important you get that sorted. You may be best seeing a solicitor yourself to make sure that you're not trapped by it. Don't listen to any excuses, it will not be something the bank needs to grant the mortgage.

Then the relationship issues. At best he's saying your contribution to the marriage and your family past and present is only worth 20%. At best he doesn't value you as he should. At worst he's set this up as a precursor from walking away from the marriage in the hope that he'll get a lot more of your joint assets than he's entitled to. I don't know if this would affect divorce settlement in court, but that's not a chance I would be taking that chance.

ASchuylerSister · 13/07/2020 22:20

I would email the solicitors right now and say to halt everything and you weren’t aware of what you were signing.

I’m surprised the solicitor hasn’t had direct contact with you and checked you knew what you were agreeing to.

Wishforsnow · 13/07/2020 22:21

Wow, do not move, speak to a solicitor ASAP, speak to the estate agent/mortgage company to confirm you are not in agreement. I'm sorry for you

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 13/07/2020 22:22

What a dodgy conniving asshole- first thing I’d do is email the solicitors copying your DH explaining that you had been forced to sign said document without reading and you do not agree to such. Then let your DH approach you and explain himself!

Queenoftheashes · 13/07/2020 22:25

Yes of course you should be mad; he is trying to rob you.
What a pig. Do not let this go through.

SleepingWithTheFishes · 13/07/2020 22:25

Oh love, thats awful. I absolutely applaud your self restraint though! I'd have to confront him right this minute!!

PlanDeRaccordement · 13/07/2020 22:25

Horrible!
Yes, call solicitor and retract the paper in the morning.
Then discuss with your husband.

That’s a major violation of trust and I’d be considering whether to end the marriage or give him a second chance.

Hercwasonaroll · 13/07/2020 22:27

Oh gosh. Email the solicitor now and say you were duped. Phone them in the morning and find out what it really means. What a shit bag.

recycledbottle · 13/07/2020 22:30

Ring the Solicitor in the morning and say you didn't read the document before you signed and get them to explain it to you. It is that he is entitled to 80%of equity though.

granadagirl · 13/07/2020 22:37

He’s put one big one over you
What a bastard

Defo don’t move. , there’s a motive there???? Defo
How fucking dare he, after that I would no way trust him again
He’s financially abused you

Ring who is doing your mortgage and tell them you’ve made a mistake in the signing and want to retract mortgage application

UggyPow · 13/07/2020 22:44

I became TinC with my late husband whilst he was terminally ill - this meant he was able to leave ‘his half’ directly to the children, with appropriate clauses in his will about how it is trust until I give it to them & they could never force me to sell etc.
We had both earned more than the other at different times but there was never any suggestion that one should have more than the other.
We had to have a meeting with our solicitor about it - together, before she would even include it. Unfortunately your DH has been very underhand & you need to email the solicitor immediately - stating that you were rushed to sign the form & not given the chance to read it & you are not prepared to continue with the purchase with this as part of he purchase.
It does take 1-2 months to process so hopefully you can stop this but unfortunately you will need to have some very serious conversations with your OH