Need urgent mortgage help

[Help1307]

We are buying a new house and current house is joint (both earned equally until I had DS2). I was doing bedtime with screaming tired DC and DH asked me to sign a paper saying oh it’s nothing just about how house is shared between us. I signed.

Just seen the email he sent to solicitors and opened the attachment which tbh I wouldn’t usually do bc I trust him and it is now saying we are buying as tenants in common - him 80pc and me 20pc.

Wtf does this mean?

If we buy the new house and we divorce - does this override the fact that we have been together 19 years and have 2 DC?

Does it override fact that normally assets would be split?

Or would it mean that if ever we did divorce I really would only get 20pc of house?

I can’t understand why he has done this. I only earn less than him now as went part after second DS. Otherwise for last 19 years we’ve been pretty much equal.

I’m mad and I don’t even know if I should be.

Am I potentially losing money from last 19 years or just extra that would be paid in respect of new house?

Thank you

he is just protecting his inheritance. I said we could have talked about it. He said it’s not a big deal

Please pull out of the house sale :( And re-think the relationship. It was appauling of him to wait until you were utterly distracted with the children when he asked you to sign the paperwork.

Wonder what else he's done thats underhand. Yeah, you need to have full transparancy over the finances.

I'd be divorce for me. And i'd make sure i got half the inheritence.

Thing is 80% is more than "his share", I calculated 65:35 to do that

Please just put the breaks on proceeding with the house purchase. I would write to the house solicitor telling him you are no longer willing to proceed.

Hugs

PULL OUT OF THE SALE.

The end.

Right now you own your property jointly as you damn well should.

It's no longer 'his' inheritance.

No way, no how.

Just pull out right now, tell him the move's off.

Then discuss whether you split.

Actually until the inheritance is used towards the family then it is still his inheritance and not part of the marital pot. It seems like he was trying to protect it from becoming part of the marital pot.

it doesn’t seem clear cut what happens with this 80/20 split if you divorce and have small children

I get that the courts decide, but surely you won't be going ahead with the new house now??
You're quite right to spend time sorting finances, but right again that you can't trsut him to come clean on any of it - especially after his stonewalling reply when you asked why his "arrangement" wasn't discussed with you

Since there's clearly more to this, I'm wondering if you have proper access to everything - also whether he's an employee or (god forbid) self employed so he can use a company to hide things?

It seems like he was trying to protect it from becoming part of the marital pot

I agree that's very clear, but the question is WHY
It's one thing to do this in a new relationship, especially if there's an imbalance in assets, and quite another in a 19 year marriage where OP's always contributed equally until on maternity leave with his child

As said, there's going to be a lot more to this and I wouldn't expect it to be pretty

Yes I would pull out of the house sale until it is resolved, there is no way you can risk it. Where I live marriage supersedes all of this and you can't sign away your rights but they seem to be less robust in the UK based on a few of these threads
It is very worrying indeed. Don't blame yourself, I was in a similar situation for years - you judge people by your own standards. I would though be thinking why someone in an almost 20 year relationship would want to protect his inheritance. I too would be thinking he is planning his escape.

OP I really hope you are OK, I found your post very hard to read. My dad did something similar to my mum when preparing to leave her. Hundreds of thousands of pounds - gone.

Please look after yourself. Just keep reminding yourself that this is NOT your fault, he has behaved appallingly. Good luck with your solicitor

If you split now the starting point is 50:50 of the current house but his inheritance would be taken into account I terms of him being able to provide himself with somewhere to live... just as his higher earning are.

Whoever he sent that for to you must call and tell them you were ticked into signing and didn’t know what it was and you want it destroying

But he is ‘protecting’ more than his inheritance. He is attempting to do you over.
I would be pulling out of the house purchase immediately.

*He is adamant it’s nothing to do with anyone else that he is just protecting his inheritance.
*
Protecting his inheritance from what or whom? From you OP? Why? Why would he need to protect his inheritance from you unless he had ulterior motives?

I'm sorry OP but this doesn't look good for the long term relationship. If my DH said he needed to protect his assets from me I'd be expecting a lot of detail about why!

Plus, as others have said, the 80/20 split is totally ridiculous and he's massively taking the Micky. He's done you out of 30% of your home asset... why?!

YANBU. I hope you're ok xx

You need to call the solicitor dealing with the house purchase.

Get the document rescinded and destroyed before this goes any further.

I would really worry that he has someone waiting in the wings, it’s such a bizarre thing to do.

Thanks for the update OP. You poor thing, I’m so sorry you’re going though this.

Please pull out of the house purchase. If you don’t, I have a gut feeling something will happen after and you’ll be left with 20%.

I think you having a good look at the finances is really important. I’m worried for you that he is hiding money too, do you have anyway of looking at his phone/private email to see what may be lurking.

You need to think only of yourself and your kids here. Focus on protecting you and leave him to do what he wants as he won’t get very far.

The very fact he isn’t backing down and you’re going around in circles tells you a) he is up to something - otherwise why protect the money and b) there is no point in discussing this with him.

You can do it, stay strong xxx

Pull out of the sale OP.

If you get this sorted, there will always be other houses.

He is showing you exactly what he thinks of you, and your children's, security by the way in which he asked you to sign a very important document.

Don't ignore his actions.

This is terrible.

I'm a property lawyer and happy fro you to pm if you want to talk directly. It's likely that it would override the presumption of 50/50 as you are of sound mine and signed it. It absolutely should have been discussed as while he might want an uneven split 80/20 given the circumstances seems absurd

On a personal level this would be the end for me if nothing else because of the underhand nature of it

Don't pull out of the sale, but do pull out of the purchase. Go into rented. Buy yourself some time. The proceeds of the sale will have to go into a joint account but move your 50% into your own account.

Don’t tolerate this @Help1307 my DH inherited six figures and bought us a house in joint names with it. His inheritance is only 1/3 of what you’re putting in. I don’t understand why he needs to protect it at all. It’s going toward buying a family home him, you and his children. Conveniently he is putting your name on the mortgage debt but not the inheritance.

It’s so underhand.

It seems like he was trying to protect it from becoming part of the marital pot
He is NOT.
He is trying to take more!!!
80/20 is not how it works.
If he really wanted this and had considered it, it would be 65/35 NOT 80/20!!!
That is taking the piss.

I would pull out of the sale for now.
You will be up shit creek without a paddle if you go ahead on these terms.
Don't do it.
He could have all sorts of reasoning behind his underhand tactics here.
Don't fall for it.
AT ALL!
Protect yourself and protect your DC.
He could screw you all over!
NO WAY!
I'm guessing OW in this scernario.
I do hope not though!?

Will he be paying 80% of the remaining mortgage too? Is 80% of the money from existing house from his wage? No - thought not.

It's daylight robbery.

Deff get this stopped - before you go through finances as this is critical. The sooner you call mortgage company the sooner they can pause the continuation. You don't have to stop everything but it does need to be put on hold, utilising your cooling Off period.

Your dh is totally out of order. I would really struggle in your shoes to forgive him. A trust has been broken.

Get legal help. Send written notification that you signed statement under false pretences and do not agree to this.... just get some legal help. What an absolutely shitty thing he has done!

@Help1307 I’ve just read your update. Tell him if it’s no big deal then just go back to 50 50. Ask him what he is protecting his inheritance from. Is it from you and if so why?

Stand your ground. You said his inheritance is only a third anyway so why would it be 80 20.

This would be a dealbreaker for me. Do not sign away your current home which you own 50/50 and do not sign for the new house. Stay strong

Holy crap. This is financial abuse. I'm so sorry, OP, what an awful thing to do behind your back. He clearly doesn't see you as a partnership.

If it helps, my partner and I are tenants in common on our house because we are not married and I was contributing the entirety of the deposit which I didn't want to be considered as joint money. We had a LOT of discussions about how that would work before we committed to signing the Declaration of Trust drafted for us by solicitors. We agreed was that I would recoup the first 15% of the property's sale price, and we would split the rest equally, as we are each paying half the mortgage. I could also have specified that I would take out the precise amount in pounds that I contributed, rather than a percentage. It means that we've also had to make wills, because our share of the house doesn't automatically pass to the other in the event of our death - basically, if your husband dies, you only own that 20% of the house, and the rest although it MIGHT come to you if you are next of kin, equally might not. TBH I'd try to check whether he has a will and if he's specified who would inherit his property.

There are plenty of ways that your husband could have protected his investment in the property without going behind your back and squeezing you out of the equity you actually have a right to, and putting you in a really horrible position if he suddenly carks it.

This isn't OK at all and I urge you to keep your appointment with the solicitor and stick to your guns whatever your husband does to persuade you otherwise. This is very, very wrong and the fact he did it in secret shows that he knows it.

People do not normally ring-fence an inheritance once they are married for 19 years, this would usually be considered part of the family money (morally, of course, legally get advice). It is not usual at all to a) try to stop your family benefiting from your money and b) screw your wife over getting them to sign stuff when they were not looking properly and without taking their own legal advice.

So sorry OP, this is indeed catastrophic for your marriage, and his pleas of 'it's no big deal' aren't true- why are you only worth 20% of the assets again?

sorry, to put it more concisely - it would be just as simple to ringfence the PRECISE SUM he had contributed, and you could go 50:50 on the rest. There is absolutely no requirement to split ownership 80:20. This isn't some legal formality that's out of his hands, the solicitors will have drafted the deed of trust with information supplied BY HIM. It is fully within his control and he has chosen to do this to you.

Don't buy with him. Don't stay with him, quite frankly.