Would you date someone earning less than you?

[DreamChaser23]

but they were a good person and paid their way?

What is the least you could consider?

I’married to someone who earns half of what I do and is 16 years older.

He’s paid very well. I’m just paid very very very well.

We share finances and it’s never bothered us. What’s mine is his and vice versus.

He earns less but his income is stable and mine is not. So we know we can meet our outgoings from his salary if we have to.

Of course. In fact when we met I earned more than dh - though just a bit and it was definitely comparable. 11 years on and I’m mostly a sahm and he is easily the bigger breadwinner. That said there is a possibility in the future that he might become a sahd and I will go back to a “proper job”.

Ps growing up my mother was always the main breadwinner. She still is!

What a shallow question.

That’s very 1950s, the man being the bread winner, shocked anyone under the age of eighty would think that way today, how the hell does that thought process come about these days.

And what do they do, interrogate on the first date? Ask how much they earn?

Haven’t women come further than this, marrying for money?

Honestly I find it shameful anyone would do so. You should be with someone because you love them, be equals, take care of your own financial situation, and share any child care and house hold chores.

Some people value money, others beauty etc..

If they value money they should earn it themselves. If they marry because of beauty then they are fucked in the long term as looks fade.

Why wouldn't you - what does it matter?

After dating someone who’s attitude to work was very relaxed I would want to be with somebody with the same work ethic as me at least
It affected everything we did as he never had money and I ended up paying
Similar wages to me or more going forward, don’t have to be rich but earning!

Yes, I earn more than my partner however he is a hard worker and he pays his way. I never be with a cocklodger.

Would i date someone earning less than me? Similar questions include would I, as a woman, date a man shorter than me, with less educational attainment, lower class???? These are outdated notions. My requirements for dating form around ethics. Would i date someone with values and ethics that grate against my own? No. My OH earns less than me. What matters to me is that we both work in jobs that i think are meaningful. You decide what matters most to you op.

It's not salary for me, it is ambition. I am extremely ambitious and driven and I would and have struggled to have a meeting of minds with those who aren't.

Though DH and I both earn well into the 6 figures (mid 30s) but that is a happy accident as opposed to by design.

Of course- money is not the be all of life. As pp have said I wonder if those who think they couldn't would be accepting of being the lower earner? @Babdoc am sorry for your loss.

Of course - I do and have for the past 10 years. I would never meet someone and consider it important what they earned - I'd be interested in an ambitious and career driven personality and strong work ethic. Beyond that, career and earnings don't matter to me. DP earns slightly less than me but is very career driven and has a strong work ethic, which is the quality that's important to me more so than what he brings home financially. I've always been able to support myself financially my entire adult life, so why wouldn't it matter to me what my partner earns? I can't stand the thought of relying on anyone else for money, partner or otherwise.

*why would, not wouldn't!

Yes of course as long as they have their own money. Bit odd if people only dated someone who earned the same amount.
I'm part time and earn a lot less than dp, also part time, but I have more savings. Income comes from many different sources - investments, property, inheritance, gifts, savings etc.
Being reckless with money and in loads of debt would put me off not someone's salary.

Yes. I’m married to him.

When I met my husband he actually earned more than me but over the years my career has flourished and when I had my second baby he stayed at home and I returned to work as I was earning more and it made sense. I don't think he will catch me up now in terms of salary but who cares! He does more of the childcare etc so it all
Balances out! Who cares about salary surely you are in a relationship because you love them not because of what they earn! How materialistic!

I earn more than DH, but its irrelevant what we earn. Our finances are pooled, we have a comfortable life, and who put what in just isn't an issue.

Ardnassa

It's not salary for me, it is ambition. I am extremely ambitious and driven and I would and have struggled to have a meeting of minds with those who aren't.

This! I totally agree

I married my husband because we had similar backgrounds and morals which was a good foundation for love. He is my best friend and my lover. I have always earned more than him but it was as a result of his support that I was able to do so. He has always been very secure in our relationship because he knows I want to be married to rather than have to be married to him. There are no financial reasons tying me down.
In the early days it did cause some friction but only because male friends would make sly comments. But in these days of equality why shouldn’t you have a “traditional” role reversal. I was the one with ambition and drive, he has always been happy in the supporting roll. He gave up work in his mid fifties because he has a reasonable pension, he took on the SAHP roll and is thoroughly enjoying being a teenagers taxi driver.

Sometimes there is only room for one ambitious partner in a marriage.

If it doesn't downgrade the quality of my life and give me extra stress.

Ambitious doesn’t mean high earning, I have a very ambitious friend who is now right at the top of her field, it doesn’t bring her a large pay packet.

I don’t care what job a partner does (unless it is something unethical like working in a slaughter house etc) and I don’t care what they earn. I love my partners personality, kindness etc, I don’t love his wallet.

There's some points that haven't really been made as far as i can see.
Firstly in the long term, a huge number of women have higher contributions in terms of value than their male partner. This is because the value of 24 hour childcare and domestic work is high and is not shared equally on average.
Secondly, statistically, relationships where the female partner earns more financially than the male partner are more likely to fail.

www.youngwomenstrust.org/what_we_do/media_centre/press_releases/1097_young_women_s_unpaid_work_worth_140_billion