Would you date someone earning less than you?

[DreamChaser23]

but they were a good person and paid their way?

What is the least you could consider?

As long as it wasn't due to a feckless attitude or wanting to shirk working, then I wouldn't care.

I've been married to DH for 25 years and he has always earned less than me. When I went part time after having the kids and worked 0.7 then I earned the same as him for several years, but I'm full time now and I earn 15k more than him.

I’ve dated people who earned more than me and people who earned less than me - and people I don’t really know because I never thought to ask.

I’m currently married to someone who has earned less than me at some points, though not currently and I’m about to go on SMP so I’ll be on a whole lot less. It doesn’t matter a bit.

I think attitudes to money/saving/spending matter more. If you want to go on 3 luxury holidays a year and eat out 4 nights a week, and your potential partner can’t afford that then it might be an issue. Unless you’re happy to pay for the both of you and potential partner is happy to accept that?

Weird question.

No. I did years ago. I was on maybe 25k, he was on minimum wage. We're in the north east so my wage was decent.

I had a house (mortgage) he lived with his dad and had minimal Bill's but never had any money. He came to mine, I bought food. We could only go out maybe once a month - with me paying my share -

Maybe I just didn't like him enough but it was a bit crap.

Yes, I had no idea if DH even had a job when we fell in love. Turns out he is a high earner but I had no idea. Just wasn't a topic that we discussed.

Of course.

Yes! Married to one.

DH earns substantially less than me. But by this time next week that will change as he becomes director of a company with a half a million turnover. Neither of those things either attracted me or put me off, we just fell in love.

Less than me fine, unable to support themselves on that wage, no.

When I met DH I earnt significantly less than him and then progressed to earning the same and now earn more. If I’m honest the easiest times have been when we earnt the same as we just split things right down the middle with question but when one earns a lot more it does work differently but with open conversation it’s doable and the most important part is him not having a chip on his shoulder because you earn more

Yes. My husband earns minimum wage but he is the kindest, loveliest person. He takes care of me with my chronic condition and will do a full day at work, come home do all housework and cook dinner without a word of complaint. He always spoils me on special occasions and my family love him.

But surely 50% of people do date someone who earns less than them. Or are you purely interested in whether a women would date a man who earns less than them?
So what about same-sex relationships - should all people aim to date someone who earns more than them, because that doesn't quite work does it.

I assume you're not questioning whether a man would choose to date a woman who earned less than him.

yes.

Yes, of course. Someone has got to be the lower paid partner.

I wouldn’t date someone who is lazy, mind.

I married one!

It doesn’t bother me personally. Two of my best friends think like this though and to be honest after them telling me their point of view I can honestly see how money is important to some people. I don’t think it’s a strange question at all. Everybody has different requirements from a relationship.

Heh. At various points in our relationship OH and I have both been the much lower earner. Neither of us really predicted it going that way, and I think that's true of life in general. You might find someone who is a super high earner and they lose their job. Or you might start a relationship with a penniless artist who hits it big. Life has ups and downs. I think all you can do is find someone who you respect, who's values you share, and who you fancy. Everything else will just happen.

Yes, but I’m not sexist. Or a gold digger

I wouldn't.

I suppose I would. Can't say I ever thought about it. Salaries only matter when you're thinking of moving in together, buying a house, etc.

Surely in a lot of relationships one person earns more than the other?

I met DH when I was doing a professional qualification combined with a Masters degree so i was a poor student. He was 5 years older and in a well paid job. I did try to pay my way especially at first but I just had no money. If dh had refused to date me because I wasn't in the same financial league as him then that would have been pretty shitty of him. Luckily he was more interested in my personality than in my bank balance.

Ehh yes, why not?

Yes. Female dr married to a male nurse.

Nobody ever, ever questions this the other way round.

My husband earns less than half my salary. Who cares?!

A long time before we met he earned 3x what I earn. Life changes.

I spend most of my salary on my horse, DH doesn’t benefit from it so when that’s taken in to account there’s not such a huge difference in what we contribute to the family pot.