New man has long finger nails and it hurts me

[Greeneyes2020]

*(I have tried posting this in the sex topic but it won't let me for some reason so I thought this would be the second best place to post).
*
Slightly embarrassed about this. I have been seeing a man for around two months now, both really happy and we get on great. Sex is lovely, I feel very comfortable with him (which is something new for me as I've not always felt comfortable with some ex's).

I do very much enjoy being touched and one issue that I'm facing is that he has quite long finger nails which in itself isn't a problem, just mainly when it comes to sex. It is enjoyable but sometimes it also feels like someone is pinching/scratching inside me and it can be quite uncomfortable. I've never had this issue before as all the men I've dated have had short nails.

Apart from that, the sex is great. I feel awful for mentioning it now as I've left it so long. When we have sex he always asks me if I feel comfortable/is he hurting me etc and I just say no I'm fine, but I probably should have mentioned it at the time. I just don't want to embarrass him. What should I do? 

You don't know? Really?

Just tell him!
“Sometimes your nails hurt me, can you keep them short please”

If you’re that comfortable with him then it shouldn’t be hard to ask him to cut his nails

It's not that I don't know. Obviously I know I need to speak to him about it, I just feel absolutely awful for leaving it so long. I'm not sure how to bring it up without embarrassing him or making him feel awkward.

Dear OP. Finger Monsters are your friend.

That gave me a good laugh @draughtycatflap. 🤣

Um... just tell him? "When you're fingers are inside me your nails are scratching me a bit. Would you be okay to keep them shorter?"

He says, "yes of course". He cuts them.

Job done. 🙂

Simple, no?! 🤔

Why does he keep his nails so long?

He should be bloody embarrassed! Long, unkempt fingernails are just grim.

It’s really not a big deal to bring up op. ‘Do me a favour and trim your nails because they keep catching me’. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Hi there - it's difficult but you just need to bite the bullet on this. It's crazy how it's often easier to be physically intimate with someone than have a difficult conversation but I think it's true for many of us.

It's all about how you handle the conversation. You could try the criticism sandwich - e.g. compliment/constructive criticism/compliment if that helps. He's obviously concerned to get it right and you can see this is giving him the opportunity to make things even better for you. But you definitely need to mention it. Ultimately, if you can't talk to each other about your sexual needs then you can't build a meaningful sexual relationship. Plus there's a health angle to this - if you are scratched or torn, then there's a risk of infection and that could become very uncomfortable and seriously impede your sex life even if only temporarily.

Good luck, OP!

Yuk long fingernails on a man are utterly grim.
Better to mention it now than leave it even longer OP.

If you are comfortable enough for his fingers to be wandering you should be able talk to the man!! Or next time he is due over send a text - see you later, and can you cut your nails before I am ripped to shreds!?

@Sunnydayshereatlast

If you are comfortable enough for his fingers to be wandering you should be able talk to the man!! Or next time he is due over send a text - see you later, and can you cut your nails before I am ripped to shreds!?

That made me laugh so much! 😭 You really should ask him to cut them short as long fingernails can have so many germs under them and then he's spreading all those inside you whilst he is scratching you.

You can’t feel too comfortable with him if you can’t tell him that his finger nails need a trim because they’re hurting you?

Thank you ladies, you're all right. I don't know why I'm being so silly. I think I'm just worried he might take it as an insult or think I'm criticising his skills in the bedroom 😆 which definitely isn't the case as apart from that one tiny issue the sex is lovely.

I was also worried about the health/hygiene issue as well as another poster kindly pointed out.

Does he play guitar? Even then, long nails are utterly grim. Just ask him.

Your post made me cross my legs 😅

I'm sorry @Jellybeansincognito 🤣

He should be bloody embarrassed! Long, unkempt fingernails are just grim

Who says they’re unkempt?
Are long fingernails grim on a woman? Ftr I do think long nails on women is grim, but am aware many disagree.

Many musicians keep their fingernails long- guitar players for example. You can always tell a guitarist as they have long nails on one hand and short on another.

I just tell him he needs to cut his nails or not do that. Up to him.

You could slowly get your vagina used to abrasive sensations by experimenting with different grades of sandpaper over a period of several months.

Or you could use your words.

It's a tough choice but I'm sure you'll have an instinctive feel for which option is right for your relationship.

Well that has definitely put things into perspective @ShowOfHands thank you!

Christ please tell him!! Do not go through something that hurts just because you're scared of hurting his feelings. If you were scraping his dick with your teeth and causing pain I'm sure he'd say something to you!

Is he a guitarist? That would be the only excuse i could think of, and it would only be on one hand.

I'd be worried about getting an infection from dirt in his fingernails as well as the pain.

But I'd just have to say "sorry, can you stop as your nails are hurting me"

It's for him to decide if he wants to cut them after I say that.