New man has long finger nails and it hurts me

[Greeneyes2020]

*(I have tried posting this in the sex topic but it won't let me for some reason so I thought this would be the second best place to post).
*
Slightly embarrassed about this. I have been seeing a man for around two months now, both really happy and we get on great. Sex is lovely, I feel very comfortable with him (which is something new for me as I've not always felt comfortable with some ex's).

I do very much enjoy being touched and one issue that I'm facing is that he has quite long finger nails which in itself isn't a problem, just mainly when it comes to sex. It is enjoyable but sometimes it also feels like someone is pinching/scratching inside me and it can be quite uncomfortable. I've never had this issue before as all the men I've dated have had short nails.

Apart from that, the sex is great. I feel awful for mentioning it now as I've left it so long. When we have sex he always asks me if I feel comfortable/is he hurting me etc and I just say no I'm fine, but I probably should have mentioned it at the time. I just don't want to embarrass him. What should I do? 

Why are people assuming his nails are dirty?

Do women with long fingernails pose the same infection risk? Do lesbians all have short nails?

Bit surprised at the “all men with long fingernails are dirty, grim and disgusting” narrative. Assuming you don’t think the same about women, of course.

Even the thought of long fingernails on a man gives me the heebiejeebies, and not even because of sex, it just seems weird haha

Showofhands😂

I dobt understand how you can have sex with someone you cant even bring yourself to ask to trim their names. I personally would not have sex with a guy with long nails anyway as its a turn off. Literally you can see his nails before anything how did you not realise they are going to feel icky? Why did you lie to protect his feelings over your own discomfort?
The real issue is not about how to tell him its about your own inability to speak up for yourself.

Ahaha my typos are hilarious 🤪🤦🏼‍♀️ fucking fat fingers

Ewww.

Does he have long hair too?

I ran into this problem once with my ex, who played guitar.
I wasn't able to keep quiet about it though because my instant reaction was "Ow cut your fucking nails!".

I’m a bit worried about how you’d deal with other relationship issues (and life issues) if you are ok swallowing your pain to avoid embarrassment. Do you do this with emotional pain too, or ‘just’ things that physically make you bleed?

It’s a slightly bigger problem in the ‘life skills’ department than ‘Oh, darling, meant to mention, would you mind trimming your nails’. In my book, at least.

An online (or real life) course in assertiveness might be an important next step for you... before your blushes lose you a good man, a good job or far worse.

Don't allow yourself to be in any physical discomfort in order to please a man. Just tell him, if he's a decent man, the longer you leave it the more embarrassed he will be that he has been hurting you all this time.

Ouch, can't be hygienic either, I'd worry about getting an infection. Tell him outright, your nails are too long cut the things!

Do lesbians all have short nails?

@bluebluezoo I'm bi and I'd imagine most of them tend to.

I told my then boyfrend, now husband, from the begining (after having sex a couple of times) he needs a rounder shape on his nails. His weren't long, just filed weirdly.

This might help you to tell him asap...
An ex once had longish finger nails, he accidentally scratched me inside and it resulted in BV which needed 2 courses of anti biotics to clear up. Not a pleasant experience!!

Oh my god how old are you? Just tell him! “FYI your finger nails are a bit long and it’s hurting me m, please can you trim them” Job done.

The worry for you is your being unable to tell him from the start. It does show that you have something holding you back from saying the truth, even with someone you feel comfortable with and who is considerate enough to ask and care. To prevent yourself from being taken advantage of in the future, you really are going to have to find your voice about what you do and don't like around sex. It really is ok to say what you do and don't like, in fact it's vital you do and there should be absolutely no embarrassment.

@bluebluezoo do lesbians all have short nails?

Erm, yes actually - most of them do. For exactly the reason OP has put here.

Be firm and tell him to cut them. Long finger nails are grim and unhygienic on everyone not just men.

I think you can feel comfortable enough to have sex, but at the same time feel uncomfortable with talking about some aspects of it. It can be a sensitive subject.
You mention he asks if he’s hurting you during, could you just whisper back ‘a little, I think a nail is catching me.’ It might feel easier in the moment than bringing it up later.

I must be missing something, you have sex with him, his penis goes in your vagina, not his hands! Unless he is fisting you or something? I don't understand how his fingernails would be inside you?

Sometimes men put their fingers in first? @Timekeeper1 it would only take one finger with a long finger nail to hurt you.

I don't understand how his fingernails would be inside you?

I actually feel sorry for you if you don’t understand this.

@Timekeeper1

I must be missing something, you have sex with him, his penis goes in your vagina, not his hands! Unless he is fisting you or something? I don't understand how his fingernails would be inside you?

Um you know, during foreplay he can actually put his fingers in, before he actually puts penis in.

@Timekeeper1 ...I can’t tell if this is sarcastic?

You’ve never experienced the joys of fingering?!?!

Urgh long fingernails on a man

OP this is one of my biggest turn offs. Talk to him.