My husband said I had a gunt and I'm so fucking hurt

[frillyflamingo]

We fell out today over something trivial at my parents and then got in the car to come home. We were bickering about it on the way home and he said he was annoyed and wanted to go home because I was walking round with a gunt swilling wine and I looked like an embarrassment.

I had a baby 15 weeks ago, so I'm not looking my best. This hasn't really done anything to boost my self esteem if I'm honest. I did have a large glass of wine (with ice) but it's Sunday, I wasn't driving, I didn't think it was an issue.

He's not apologetic, he went upstairs when we got home and left me to do bath and bedtime for both children.

I'm so unbelievably hurt that I gave birth 15 weeks ago, I've been steadily loosing at 1-2lbs a week and now I feel ridiculous and so embarrassed that's what my husband thinks of me. He does sometimes say really cutting things like that, never anything this bad. I feel so deflated and shit. I struggled through bedtime and now I'm just sat quietly crying. Who is this cunt I'm married to.

Sorry, pity party for one.

You are not the embarrassment in this relationship. 💐

You need to stop weeping, stand tall and thank your lucky stars. You now know exactly what a poor specimen of humanity he is.

He is nothing but an infantile moronic idiot and deserves nothing but pity for Total and utter stupidity in showing you he has the intellect of a dead frog.

Play the long game plan your attack and leave as and when it suits you, your secret knowledge, will be a shield for any further barbs that spill from his flapping tongue.

You know he doesn’t deserve you.

You had a baby 15 weeks ago and were cruelly emotionally attacked. I'm not surprised you struggled with bath time and bed. Yet, you still you were the one who stepped up and did it. With love. Now he has shown how deficient he is in decency, I would be worried he would chip away at you and have an effect on your self image and confidence. That will have an impact on your family dynamic. I'll just tell you, as a stranger, I know who I would have any respect for right now and it is not him.

I don't know if therapy or something would help. You can't take it at face value as a criticism. It is just cruelty. I would point out his less than Film star aspects. Maybe suggest he get plastic surgery. I hope you and your babies can shake that ugliness from you lives. Take care op.

p.s. he had that horrible contemptuous term in the barrel, hadn't he. Yuck, think he is a bit of a cheap yoke for saying that to you. He should be cherishing you and the babies.

Gunt is slang for a fatty area below the bully button and above the pubic area of a woman, often as a result of childbirth, weight gain, or just having a totally normal body

@WinnieWonder

Yes, it has the hint or undertone of something that sounds like it came from the incel/porn culture

I had to look it up too. It is such a horrible word. Worse when your body is the result of giving birth to his child, that this is not a one off and that he was not immediately apologetic.

Most people would be so impressed that you have been doing so well at losing your baby weight.

I'm shocked at how your husband treated you. I'm so sorry op. I still looked pregnant after each baby until 5-6 months later. It does take time for the body to settle back down. Be kind to yourself and love yourself. Your husband is wrong, I'm not sure how you can convince him. Unless you mention it to your mum or to his, to highlight and embarrass his bad behaviour?

He sat miserable while visiting your family and was annoyed that you were drinking wine and having a good time, hes abusive and used a horrible disgusting word to make you feel shit because he seen you enjoying yourself. I know the type OP I hope you're okay

Listen, DH and I have been married over 30 years. We've bickered and even had some almighty rows and there's been some name-calling. But neither of us has EVER stooped so low as to throw an insult about the other's personal appearance, especially when we've felt 'less than our best' because of weight or whatever.

I'd never be able to forgive my husband if he had said what your husband said. Nor would I ever be able to forget those words.

I am so fucking angry for you, OP. I'd never heard this vile word, and wish I still had not. So utterly vile. I am so sorry you heard that. So sorry.

This man is the worst of the worst. I could never, ever, be intimate with a man who viewed me like this. Who had so little basic respect that his mouth could form these words. For the mother of his children. There isn't really much that can be lower than this.

You are worth so much more. Please don't stay with him another minute.

@WinnieWonder yeah so I’ve gathered after reading the comments. To be honest I have never heard of the word let alone tell you what context it would be used in.

I wouldn’t want to be with someone who even has that word in his vocabulary, let alone someone who shouted it at me just after I’d given birth to his child. And you’re in the spare bedroom because he’s still mad at you?? He’s about the lowest specimen of a man you could possibly get. What a total piece of shit.

@VeggieSausageRoll

Lose the gunt, show him the door.

If it were a one off incident then it'd be different but you say it isn't. You don't want your children growing up thinking that a) this is an acceptable way to treat someone in a relationship and b) that it's ok to accept that kind of behaviour.

^ This

Your DH is vile and a misogynist. Your feelings are totally valid.

If it's a possibility, go and stay with your DPs for a few weeks while you process your feelings.

He’s a pig. He deserves public shaming for being so cruel and hurtful. Birth leaves you changed, though it’s such early days - you mustn’t let this cruelty sink in too far, your body will recover in time. But you know and he should too, that it shouldn’t matter if you get a flat tummy Or your old tummy back. So tell that piece of shit that he’s just lost any chance of seeing you naked again.

This is so sad to read and I would say that you will be better off without him. He used the most hurtful, spiteful comment he could drag up, because you were having a nice time. Why would he do that? He looked at you and instead of being happy that you were relaxing and enjoying yourself he was angry and disgusted. He then let you do bathtime on your own. He is a total shit. He is a controlling bully and life with him is likely to be miserable. Leaving now will be easier than when the children are older. He is not worth your time, get support from your parents if you can get get rid x

I've never heard of a gunt either so googled it.

I am guessing he is no Adonis himself and what a rude thing to say to a woman who gave birth to his baby a few months ago. What an arsehole.

How the fuck does he even know what a gunt is when the majority of us here didn't have a clue?

What an arsehole.

Why should OP move from the convenience of her home? He should be told to go stay with his parents. Unless of course, you are happy to take your children to your parents' home, OP. I just think that's stressful, as you are not in your own home.

Having found out the meaning of what he said I was actually shocked, then very quickly disgusted. How can he use that term?! That is such an utterly abhorrent way to describe you. To think, let alone say.
Do not let this go. He's lucky he was allowed to ever have sex with you. And to have those two babies that your amazing body grew and birthed. He's judging your body on what he'd view negatively sexually while you are still very freshly postpartum. Which is fucking vile. What, did he think you'd magically bounce back for the benefit of his lowly prawn dick?
Swilling wine, the edgy little bastard. You deserve a fucking drink! Sorry OP, what he said made me utterly fume for you.
And then he goes off in a huff. Leave him and his prawn to their own devices, Adonis over there can Narcissus himself for the foreseeable.

So sorry your husband is so horrible to you. I am so sure you can do better than him. I am overweight with a bit of a tummy and I have not recently given birth. My dh would never dream of being so insulting to me. He says nice things to me to boost my self confidence. You need someone boosting you and caring about your feelings not putting you down and being unkind to you. There would be no more sex until I had received a heartfelt apology. I would not cook for him either.

I have never heard that word before. It’s so awful!

I hate the pressure women are under to get back to pre-baby weight so fast. Your baby is less than 4 months old. You're probably exhausted and sleep-deprived. You need support, not criticism.

Out of interest, has he had anything to drink this weekend? Wtf is he criticising one glass for?

The only embarrassment in your marriage is a husband who calls the mother of his children nasty, misogynistic names.