I need help I have kids scared to leave my partner

[lovemychildren27]

Hi everyone just looking for some advice or someone who's been in a similar situation I have kids and have been with my partner for a long time but I'm scared of him I no this isn't right but I don't no what I can do about it please if anyone can help me out thanks

[1235kbm]

No problem, keep going.

[ThickFast]

There’s an organisation in Bristol called Next Link. Have a google and try them. Don’t know where you live so it’s just a suggestion if you’re struggling to find the time to research

[ThickFast]

[email protected]
0117 925 0680. They also have live chat.

[Sharpandshineyteeth]

Hi OP. I’ve worked in refuge before. If you are a traveller, we can and have kept women and children safe before. But yes, it is more challenging. But if we get wind that a man has found the location, we worked quickly to move the women and children to another location.

I have worked in Refuge that can accommodate 4 children before but I’m sure there are more out there that can give you two or more rooms.

Please keep trying women’s aid.

If you could even get him arrested for one night, that would give you time to pack and get to a Refuge.

That’s what my mum did when we were children.

[dublingirl66]

Don't let that put you off

Refuges can help they can't all turn you away due to having. 6 kids

Some great advice on here
Please get out

I have a horrible feeling he could be sensing what is happening and may attack soon!! Sorry to say that it's just you never know

[dublingirl66]

Refuges can help
Or worse case if they can't they will help you get somewhere

Many of us on here been through this too

[ThickFast]

There may be a way that a refuge can use two rooms for your family. There must be a way. I’m also hoping he’s not sensing that something is up.

[dublingirl66]

What can we do to help?
Would you be ok if some of us do some research for you!?

Hope you are ok??

[ZZPer]

love mychildren27
How’d it go today? Are you still okay?

[lovemychildren27]

I’m ok but not been given a mini today so I’ve not been able to look or try anything I’m trying to keep checking and logging in when I get the chance I’m still sensing there is gonna be an argument or something hope not I just get a weird gut feeling I’m doing as much as I can when I can

[empiricallyyours]

So sorry to hear what you're going through OP. Just wanted to mention a bit of practical advice.

One of the online banks like Starling would be your best bet for a secret bank account in your name. Just download the app and store it in one of the group folders on your phone. You need to scan in ID and do a video lasting a few seconds saying who you are, a few days later the debit card comes in the post. So, you'd just need to get to the post first for a few days. You can deposit cash into the account at a post office, so once you've got the card, there's no paper trail.

This way, could you save towards a deposit to privately rent in a new town for a fresh start?

[lovemychildren27]

I will download it now thanks for that advice thank you

[empiricallyyours]

Good luck OP. How generous is he with money? Do you get access to cash?

[lovemychildren27]

I have downloaded it so I will set it up once everyone is asleep thank you 😊

[1235kbm]

Have any of the organisations got back to you yet OP?

[ZZPer]

Great. I’m really glad to hear that you are still okay.🙂 Just keep your head down and keep sending out messages to the organisations who can provide accommodation and some coverage to you and the childers.

I think that if you just keep acting on little bits of advice provided by the women on this thread, you’ll be able to find a way out and people who can really help keep you safe and help you set up a new life.

[lovemychildren27]

Yeah my main worry is the safety afterwards I’m not worried about actually leaving or getting out off the house unless he becomes suspicious it only the safety afterwards that concerns me hope u understand what I mean. I have downloaded the banking app have all letters Etc what I need sorted I am not worried about clothing stuff like that it can be replaced

[1235kbm]

That's perfectly understandable OP. Have any of the organisations or refuges you've contacted responded to you?

[lovemychildren27]

Yeah just one I have given them abit more information so will wait to hear back on what they say

[1235kbm]

Well done! That's great news.

[lovemychildren27]

Yeah getting started it’s making me so nervous and anxious though

[lovemychildren27]

Will I need to change my phone device phone number things like that what do u think

[lovemychildren27]

And what specifically would I need to bring with me or have prepared so everything is becoming daunting and real

[1235kbm]

OP if I could be there with you and help prepare I would. Just take it step by step.

You don't need to do anything right now. Stop panicking, I know that's hard. Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. It's ok.

You don't need to bring anything if it puts you at risk. Obviously prescriptions for medication is helpful or the actual medication itself if possible.

Refuge workers are used to women turning up with nothing. Sometimes having just run out of the house and up the road.

They normally have the bare basics in the refuge but here's what to pack:

Identification
Birth certificates for you and your children.
School and medical records, including the telephone numbers of the school and your GP or surgery.
Money, bankbooks, cheque book and credit and debit cards.
Keys for your house, car, and workplace.
Driving licence (if you have one) and car registration documents, if applicable.
Prescribed medication, and vitamin supplements.
Cards or payment books for Child Benefit and any other welfare benefits you are entitled to.
Passports (including passports for all your children if you have them), visas and work permits.
Copies of documents relating to your housing tenure, (for example, mortgage details or lease and rental agreements).
Current unpaid bills.
Insurance documents.
Address book.
Family photographs, your diary, jewellery, small items of sentimental value.
Clothing and toiletries for you and your children.
Your children’s favourite small toys.

DO NOT take anything if it will put you at risk.

Here's some information on what a refuge is like.

[lovemychildren27]

Ok so I have just done the bank application it doesn’t say if I have been accepted or not yet just that it will let me no when to check back in