I need help I have kids scared to leave my partner

[lovemychildren27]

Hi everyone just looking for some advice or someone who's been in a similar situation I have kids and have been with my partner for a long time but I'm scared of him I no this isn't right but I don't no what I can do about it please if anyone can help me out thanks

Ok some of that stuff I have put to one side like letters and stuff like that good idea with few of the kids favourite items I didn’t think of that I will do things slowly so he doesn’t notice

Regarding your phone number, worry about that once you're there. You can block his number once out and then have a think about whether you want to change numbers once you're safe. It's not a big concern right now OP.

Hmm, I don’t know the ins and outs of the docs that you need to get together or if you need to change your phone number. Maybe you could send a message to the organisation that did answer you, asking them for tips on what to take with you and asking whether you need to buy a new SIM card.
In any case, you should take any official docs with you: birth certs, passports, national insurance numbers, NHS cards, child allowance books... I don’t know what all the docs are called. I think you said that you already had that stuff stored in a safe separate place.
Any medecine or prescriptions you need to take along.
I’m sure that once you get out, the people operating the refuge can put you in contact with good people who are experienced in helping people who need to keep out of the reach if your community. They will know any useful tricks!

OP you can sort out the bank once you're safe. It's not important right now. Getting items of sentimental value is the most important thing as they can't be replaced. Everything else can.

Once at the refuge, they will help you to organise permanent housing. They'll also help with benefits, schools, registering at a GP things like that.

You’re amazing OP. Keep going x

Thanks and sorry think I’m just starting to get nervous and anxious about it all

There's no need to apologise OP. Just keep telling yourself why you're leaving.

You're leaving because your life is at risk if you stay.
You're leaving because you and your children deserve better.

I no I’m trying to stay positive and calm as I can

You're doing really well. You're really brave and hopefully will be somewhere safe soon.

Just wanted to say good luck. I hope a refuge can help you and get you and your children to safety

Yeh, I’m thinking about you too lovemychildren27. I can imagine that you are getting really nervous now, but if you hold your nerve, soon it will only take one bug push and you’ll be out and have great people to help you. I think that you are amazing. You have a strong instinct that you need to break free and give you and make a safe home for you and the children, Despite the dangers, you are reaching out, gathering info., taking steps, making plans, getting practical responses and moral support... You are ready for this. Hold your nerve.

I am trying still awake here so many thoughts in my head thank you all so much

That’s great a refuge spoke to you. One further safety tip is to make sure all location services are off on your phone. So he can’t track you when you post a fb update or something.

Great advice on here
I remember when I fled and in the airport I was checking mumsnet and I discovered how to turn off location settings on here !!!

Please keep posting OP

Sounds like you’ve been through a few things too @dublingirl66. Hope you’re all good now

Op are you ok? Really worried about you being stuck in that situation, hope he hasn't escalated today

I'm ok thanks

I think he might of figured something out

What do you think he's figured out?

OP if you think he may attack you or you may be in danger, then dial 999.

I don’t no he’s being really strange with me I am in the bathroom he is sat downstairs I’ve been trying to act normal

Ok. Have you heard back from any of the organisations?

One had no room and gave me another phone number to try but I couldn’t ring it

I’m gonna go down and get a drink and see what he’s doing

I was about to tell you to dial 101 for advice and to speak to the domestic violence unit who could advise but you can't make calls.

Can you email some more refuges while you're there? Send a block email. Copy and paste the message from earlier and press BCC in the email headers and put in a load of refuge email addresses. Send and see what comes back.