I need help I have kids scared to leave my partner

[lovemychildren27]

Hi everyone just looking for some advice or someone who's been in a similar situation I have kids and have been with my partner for a long time but I'm scared of him I no this isn't right but I don't no what I can do about it please if anyone can help me out thanks

Thanks for the alert Dame Fanny. It is very important.
I will remember going forward.
I reported to Mumsnet that my user name came up very prominently to alert me to being mentioned.
They have rectified it to an extent but it is fairly prominent still.
I think they should be much more subtle in their notifications.

Yes a thank you from me too. I hadn't thought of that.

We’re all here for you

You're welcome, and wishing power to everyone working on their escape right now

Lots of love to you and your family
Hope you have been able to get some help

You can do this you sound remarkably strong
I was a shaking wreck
So can totally empathise with the fear

Thinking of you.

How has it all been??

Can you pm me please? I can't as I struggle on the mobile app. My local refuge has space at the moment, it's an amazing one. I won't say on here as it's outing. Read all your post and feeling anxious for you all. Xxxx

Hope you get to see pp post x

Hi OP How's things?

Sending you so much love !!!!

Thanks for everything everyone has done to help me things have become extremely difficult my phone got smashed up aswell so no improvement only see things getting worse at the moment thanks you everybody I have just read all the comments

Hi OP. So sorry to hear things have been so bad. Sending hugs. Please know that we are all here for you. I know you are in such a difficult position and it’s hard to see the way out, but please don’t give up. Bide your time. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Do you think he still suspects something? Can you say how things have become more difficult? Maybe someone can here can share some advice on how to handle it (a pp had a great one about explaining why you might be behaving differently). Ofc don’t say anything here if you can’t. How are your kids? Will any of them be going to school in a few weeks? More hugs.

OP have you messaged pp regarding the space at the refuge?

I ty think you need to just turn up at a police station far away. Anything could happen to you or your children and it isn't fair on them.

Thinking of you and sending you lots of unmumsnetty hugs, I'm in the South and I would put you and your children up in my home it would be a tight fit but I do need to try and help if I could.

Thanks everyone things are still quite bad he definitely suspects something but he hasn’t outright said it.my life feels like it’s getting harder each day I think about it. 6demandingchildren Thanks you so much I really do need help and support I feel lost and to be honest am scared to do anything atal it’s so hard I no I keep saying this I just wish i was brave enough to do more

You need to dig deep up, this isn't just about you. You need to protect your children. Every day you're there, it affects them.

I no you are right . I am staying as positive as possible for hopes we will find a way

I know this is easier said than done but try not to let your fear or panic of him finding out overwhelm you. You have made the decision to leave, it's not going to happen over night due to your circumstances so all you can do is to try and keep things together in the mean time. If you have put or know where all the important paperwork is that you will need to take then you need to plan how you can pack stuff you can take quickly. Do you have access to cases or bags, can you have them in an easily accessible place so that when the time does come you can pack quickly and calmly. Planning in your head like this might help you feel more in control as I helped me. How will the kids take it, do they have their own phones and does he have any way of tracking them if you left. If so you need to think about this stuff and how you will approach it with your kids. I'm just pulling ideas out of a hat as I am an over thinker and it helps me feel safer if I have thought of every eventuality. I hope you are doing OK 💐💐

Thanks yeah I have done stuff like get most of my important paperwork together I havnt sorted other stuff with regards to tracking locations on phones that worries me but I do no there is way to turn it of etc I am an over thinker aswell and have gone through so many different ways in my head and then I start getting worked up so have to try and stay as calm as possible for now I just have to keep trying as much as I can

When you do leave, leave your phone behind, if you can write down important numbers and buy a cheap phone and sim card, it will save you lots of anguish like him being able to contact you, you will make it quicker as well xXx
Wishing you all the luck in the world but you need to take the leap soon xx

Op hope you are safe xx

Hi OP. Just wanted to send you some love and encouragement today. I think of you always and hope that things haven’t been as bad lately. Have you been able to contact any more refuges? Hugs

Hi I haven’t been able to log in much lately things are pretty rubbish still. And I no a few people will think I should have already just left I’m just finding it so hard to get steps into place thanks everyone for still mesaging back though I havnt Ben able to contact any more places at the moment but I have kept my regency number for domestic abuse line

I’ve been thinking about how you’re getting on. And hoping you’re ok. As much as you can be in the situation. I think it’ll come to a point where you have no choice but to leave. It’ll be too dangerous to stay. Did he smash your phone?