Please, please, someone talk to me

[KeeOe]

I've posted about my marriage problems and subsequent separation here Today, I feel so, so low. I've been using my workplaces employee assistance line to speak to counsellors, who are good, but seem to have limited time for each call. I feel absolutely desperate. I have very little RL support. I feel worse not better. I cannot see a way through how I'm feeling at the minute. I have never felt so bad. I don't know where to turn.

I'm just so, so tired. I want to sleep, I go to bed, sleep for an hour then wake again and cant get back off. Days are so long and nights even longer. I'm going to srah downstairs with my babies tonight, fir some comfort. My hed is too big to sleep in alone.

God, bed, not hed.

Have you tried the Sleep Stories or nighttime meditations on the Calm App?

Could not recommend highly enough. They even have meditations for if you wake in the night.

I also recommend sleep stories or the Sleep tools on the headspace app. Or Maybe try listening to a podcast very quietly, I’m not a great sleeper so use these often. Staying with those gorgeous pups is a lovely idea too

Sleep wise I love things like this:

If you search the kind of sounds you like (ocean / rainforest / storm) and 'whole night' on YouTube there are lots.

My counsellor once talked me through how next time sleep, letting your body relax and breathing is the next best thing.

So I learned to focus on being relaxed, thinking about all the different bits of my body, my left little toe, my right ear etc (sounds silly I know) and it distracted my brain enough to sometimes fall back asleep.

And make the most of your lovely boys. Set up a little camp with them downstairs - bundle down loads of cushions and duvets and anything comfy. I called mine 'the nest' and made it really soft and comfy.

Including some room for your boys! They adore you, the way pets love us is so pure. Cuddle them and let them be affectionate, have a good cry with them if you need to.

Thinking of you

Those apps and channels sound great - just what I need. Managed to eat some plain rice and grilled chicken tonight so thats something. Feels better to have something on my stomach. Getting my big duvet and blankets does as we speak. A night spent with the pups is what I need.

[quote KeeOe]@dancemom I'm terrified about starting it though. He always put me off, saying I'd damage myself/it wouldn't be good with my chest problems etc. My level of fitness is appalling. I just need to do something to feel in control a bit.[/quote]
I could barely run ten seconds and my chest is bad from being poorly. Yesterday, week seven, I ran twenty five minutes and then walked for over an hour with the dog. You CAN do it. Try.

@SunshineCake I'm going to. Downloaded ths app and have a quiet place in mind to do it.

One hour at a time, one foot in front of the other. Baby steps. You can do this, those lovely pups need you x.

Many of us have been where you are - it will pass no matter how bad it feels now. Keep yourself busy. Couch to 5k is a fantastic idea, just stick with it and see how you get on. You will get a massive sense of achievement from just doing the first session, then the next...then the next...maybe repeat one or two...until you can run a steady 5k. And you'll likely sleep well too.

Can I suggest something? Stand up really tall, move your head back and your arms up as if you are reaching backwards to the sky and take a deep breath. Yes, your dogs will look at you as if you are nuts but it will make you feel better.

I absolutely adore your beautiful doggies. I am sure that they will keep you going and look after you when you are feeling so down . Great reason why you have to get dressed and get out for a walk every day . Am just curled up in bed with my beautiful four legged friend...they really are the best .Chin up and please call someone if you are feeling very low .💐Xx

Another thing OP, I find that just getting out of my own head - so stuff like talking on here - stops me feeling so all consumed by something like a break up.

Stops you being disconnected from the 'real world' which we all have a tendency to do at such tough times. I think it helps you stay connected to the fact there's light at the end of the tunnel.

@backseatcookers, it really has helped. Small distractions are what I need I think. I've had such an outpouring of help and support on here, its genuinely shocked me.

This one is lovely if you like storm noises:

And rainforest noises too:

Both 10 hours so last the whole night - just in case you need them

Op there is a website called suicide forum [dot] com. It sounds ominous but it is a mental health support forum and online chat. If you find yourself awake in the middle of the night with that horrible lonely feeling in your chest you can log on there and there is always someone online

You have the sweetest dogs ever and it seems like they are so so lucky to have you

Stay strong
For your loved ones sake and for their sake

The best revenge is picking yourself up and moving onwards and upwards

So many of us been in your position

Also please keep posting

I had some seriously low days recently following leaving an abusive man

The many decent people on here helped massively

I have a tonne of audiobooks stored. When I (inevitably) wake tonight, I'll pop one on, like I've said, I'm not at work so I have the time. I feel like I gave to punish myself for not sleeping though, like its something I MUST do. I think I've realised I need to be kinder to myself. I think I'm my own worst enemy. Thinking that I should be ok, I should be getting past this now, feeling like theres something wrong with me for feeling like this.

This too shall pass OP. Millions of women before you have done this and come through the other side stronger than ever. You will look back on this post someday and almost not recognise yourself. You will be in awe of how far you've come and how happy you are when you didnt believe you could feel happy again.

You are loved. You have meaning. We are here

@Worriedaboutcovid19, I've just had a bit of a cry at that message. Thank you.

Your darling doggies are going to get you through this. I briefly read a couple of your other posts and living with someone who has mood swings is so hard. This is a technique that I have used when feeling low. Allow the feelings of sadness or hurt come into your body. In your mind say to these emotions’I am letting you into my body, I can feel you and I won’t fight you’. I find this very healing. When we have strong emotions we don’t want, not only are we dealing with them but also trying to fight them away. If we allow them in, feel them , accept them, for some reason I found they can pass through you. I know it sounds a bit weird but it helped me so thought I would share xxx

How about letting yourself fall apart for say a week. Allowing yourself to feel all the pain you need to feel. As this is real. And pain is an emotion that you need to express. Then, after this week. You make a list of all things that make you smile. Like your dogs or seeing flowers. And you make a list of things you would want to do in the future. And a list you are thankful for. You hang those up and you look at them all the time. You start, little by little, baby steps in making new connections, new memories, new happiness. All in there own time. and always compare down, not up. As in: don't compare anything in life to what other people might have more or better. Look at how fortunate you are in comparance to others.

Full your life with books dvds art classes flowers puppy's saying hello to random people watching an interesting documentary sending postcards to people in retirement homes. The list of tiny happiness is endless.

Xxx

Ps by letting yourself fall apart I obv didn't mean self harm or suicidal thoughts. Just a lot of crying and screaming and not getting dressed and eating junkfood.

Our society needs us to be all whole and perfect put together. But we can't always be. Plus it is good to grieve over something that is lost. In many cultures that is the norm.

I downloaded Spotify on my phone, and it’s saved me at times. You can listen to any music you like. When I can’t sleep I listen to Sleep. ..that’s what it’s called. It’s really gentle music..Sends me off to sleep every time.

When I was in a bad way with depression, I would watch Eastenders. Anything that has a story line with people in a worse life than me was uplifting 🤗