Feeling sad

[SissyLongStockings]

Hi all.
Just needed a handhold really. Going through the stages of being heartbroken and on my own.
Always wake up this time of night missing him. Then cant get back to sleep.
I get that horrible wave of sadness and gut churnning knowing I will never see him again.
When will it end?

@Doingitaloneandproud and @Knucklehead101

It’s utterly crazy that your the centre of their world and future one minute and the next they feel nothing.

I know he won’t suddenly wake up and realise he has made a terrible mistake so I’m just focussing on me and hopefully by the time I have to face the stark reality he has met someone else or won’t be changing his mind I will be in a much better place and won’t be bothered. We have got through every day so far ladies and with each passing one we are healing a little.

@Frauhubert welcome and sorry to hear you are also feeling sad and lost right now.

Hi all how you all doing today? I burst in to tears today. I havent cried about him for a while and thought i was on the mend. But today i sobbed, really sobbed. @Doingitaloneandproud @Knucklehead101 i dont know how ghey can lie through there teeth. Im so angry at him right now. Hes ruined my life and i hate him for it. He doesnt deserve anybodys love or affection let alone mine.

It is so so crazy, I'll never get it. saw mine on tinder again, my friend was swiping although this time he's made a point of saying he owns his own home He's just a different person to me. I'm actually feeling disgusted by him, he's a joke

Fighting the urge to text him telling him he's a pr*ck for saying he wanted to be single

I can't move on because I see him at work. I think otherwise it would be 'easy' or at least easier.... I feel so low at work it's just horrible

Sissy - I'm sorry you cried. I also cried today. Although I cried last night too! 😆 hope it lessens over time. I feel like I'm going through some kind of grieving process.. despite the fact that he's said some horrible things I still think that the nice person he pretended to be will come back. And I feel like I'm at some sort of begging phase.... I keep initiating conversations which I shouldn't, which is sad.

@Doingitaloneandproud They just don't understand the pain they cause! I would never dream of being so cruel to someone!

I wish I had this thread a year ago! I felt so alone but we arent really are we. I'm a year down the line and I went from begging and pleading and feeling suicidal (still grateful I'm even still here) to being completely over him. What helped most was writing down all the bad bits and memories, everything he said and done that hurt me. If I found myself missing him or thinking about the good times or future I thought we had then the list of the actually reality came out and I readd it until the hurt past and was normally replaced with anger. It helped me remove the rose tinted glasses and see the real him

@namechangedforthis123456 it must be awful having to face him because you can’t escape the situation.

I really feel for you. Remember the best shot you’ve got is showing him you don’t care, you don’t want him back anyway and you are doing perfectly well without him. Even if your dying inside become an actress and play your award winning performance

They really don't @namechangedforthis123456 how are you coping at work?!

And you are right @krkw we aren't really alone, you just feel it sometimes don't you?! I think that's a great idea to do the bad things! That would really help me, I think I'm idealising the relationship when it really wasn't amazing. But I guess it's easy to do isn't it?!

@Doingitaloneandproud

I promise it was an absolute game changer for me. I was only focusing on the good and I refused to see the real him. When you are upset it's because you are thinking about the times he made you feel good and the good memories but in reality I bet there was more bad memories that you are repressing and hes made you feel bad more then the times hes made you feel good.

@SissyLongStockings just because you cried doesn't mean that you're not moving forwards. (I've had a cry today too)
I'm overthinking tonight.
The thing is I'm not actually sure who ended it. If it was me, I'm not sure I did the right thing. If it was him, I'm still not sure he did the right thing.
It all feels so unfinished.

@namechangedforthis123456
Thank you namechange and your right its a greiving process. I really thought there was light at the end of the tunnel but no. I changed my pic on whatsapp about 10 mins ago and hes already looked at it. I cant cry over this man any more. Im done with him

@flirtingwith40
Your right in what you say we can get over them. Sending u a big hug. Apparently our break up was temporary!!! So i get what you mean by unfinished.

They don't deserve us.

The list of bad things has helped thank you I wrote 20 down without even really having to think too hard!

belsoo post is spam, ignore it. Reported

I literally can’t find anything to write down that was wrong with our relationship or him, I wish I could. Argh, it’s so frustrating

its amazing how much I forgot or looking back and seeing it from a different perspective changed it. How he is making you feel right now is one too

Well I made it 24 hours and were texting again this will just make tomorrow harder I know.

@derelictwreck you need to study the rules of no contact. It allows you to heal yourself and force him to miss you

If you're struggling with the list of bad things, try separating out the things you miss about being in a relationship that are not specific to him. So cuddles, sex, having one particular person you check in with, dates, plus one, getting things off high shelves, etc.

I once read on here, and it's stayed with me "dick is abundant and low value". Don't demean yourself by begging for something you can get elsewhere.

I cried lots overnight and have been watching his activities on the dating apps, hes putting in a lot of time on them! Im wondering if his new lady knows that! It made me wonder if when we start talking to a new man online, is there some poor forlorn girl watching them chatting us up? The mind boggles!

@Mermaidwaves good morning, I’m so sorry you have had a rough night. Mine wasn’t great either. His late night WhatsApp activity has suddenly had a sharp increase.... my advice is come off that dating app and don’t watch him anymore. He seems to always be looking for something more. Idiots the lot of them.