Feeling sad

[SissyLongStockings]

Hi all.
Just needed a handhold really. Going through the stages of being heartbroken and on my own.
Always wake up this time of night missing him. Then cant get back to sleep.
I get that horrible wave of sadness and gut churnning knowing I will never see him again.
When will it end?

Thank you @Newlife197 that's a good point, about giving him time to miss me.
Almost 30 days is great, do you intend to just leave it?

@flirtingwith40

I did respond to him when he messaged once apologising for not treating me right (I can’t do the whole ignoring thing as it didn’t end horribly) and I saw him Monday to exchange keys so I am doing NC again now. I think I will leave it as I said I am around if he wants to talk (he appears to gone into depression which may be fake rather than manning up) so I doubt I will chase him as much as it will be hard x

I tried another social distance date tonight with another fella I met online. Nothing wrong with the guy but sadly lacking compared to my heartbreak guy. I keep thinking that I might find another connection but that massive chemistry I had for him is just not there for other men. I've come home and had a little cry just missing him and desperate for him to contact me. I feel like I will never get over him!

This thread is so hard to read with so many of you ladies suffering. My ex dumped me in oct 2019 so 8 months ago. It was SO raw at the start. I thought I wouldn't recover but time is something of a healer. You really have to move on because you have no choice. There is no alternative.

Theres been no-one since for me (he pandemic played something of a part in that I'm sure!) but I absolutely hate being single. I feel lonely all the time, jealous of families. It's just not how I thought life would be in my 30s.

Oh and list all their bad points and when you're feeling sad read every single one of them. It does help.

@Mermaidwaves hope you had a decent nights sleep. Well done on keep trying with dating. Even though the spark wasn’t there it’s good you are trying to move on rather than focussing on your ex.

I can’t even think about being brave enough to put myself out there to like someone who will end up hurting me. I really wasn’t interested in anyone because I knew this would happen but my ex made me believe in him (you would think that fancying me from afar for 4 years and finally getting to be with me would be like winning the gold) so I don’t think I am brave enough to go there and I’ll be single forever.

@TheresGotToBeMoreToLife

Time is definitely the healer. I am finding each day that passes is less painful, but I’m sure that I am still in denial and deep down think he will realise what he had and contact me. I get your jealousy. I was so miserable in my marriage for so long, but life on the outside isn’t so great.

I wonder why I am just not destined to have a happy relationship and it seems so unfair. I know I’m not a nightmare girlfriend, I’m not clingy or jealous (insecure but I recognise that and am open about it) and I know men find me attractive and good to be around and in comparison friends seem to bounce from one success story to another. It makes me angry and jealous.

My goodness what is it with these men, I was in a relationship which was absolutely amazing he told me I was his everything he had never such a positive experienced relationship like it, I was perfect, how much he loved me and how amazing I was and then the next day he said he couldn’t throw away a 20 year relationship with his ex and was going to try again with her asking that we stayed in touch from time to time which we did for a couple of weeks on and off but emotionally I couldn’t do it so asked him not to contact me again which he has done but said that he hoped in time things would be different. It’s been 8 week now since he left and I am feeling better but miss and think about him all the time ☹️

@fool12

Similar story to me. He hasn’t gone back to his ex though and hasn’t made any attempt to keep in contact. I’m sure his ex would be furious if she knew he wanted to stay in contact with the woman he was seeing in between.

He just seemed to freak when his divorce came through and lockdown got to him. None of that changes the harsh reality that if he had felt what he said he wouldn’t have decided he didn’t feel ready for a relationship after all. I try and focus on knowing it wasn’t me or anything I did so it really is beyond my control to try to fix it and that seems to have helped me move on a little.

@Newlife197 I can not believe how similar our stories are, we had to do 7 weeks of lockdown together and it just got too much for me we had one rock in the road and he ran back to his ex rather than sorting things out then continued to tell me if it was different timings our relationship would of been perfect all very very confusing stuff but I certainly don’t want to be his cake and eat it, i would certainly want to be in my position now rather than in an unhappy relationship with my ex I didn’t know how to get out of like he is in I feel x

@Newlife197 I was awake til about 4am as I just couldnt settle. Ive decided to hold off dating for a bit as its just reinforcing my feelings for this guy right now as no one else seems like him.I feel a bit numb this morning, which is a relief! I hope all you ladies here have a good and peaceful saturday.

@mermaidwaves

Morning, sorry to hear you had a bad night. I think holding off dating is a good idea. There is nothing more I want to meet someone who will make me feel good for a little while. But equally I am not sure I can stand the disappointment of meeting someone who simply doesn’t compare or I don’t fancy as much. Plus even though I may be making it harder on myself at the moment, learning how to be alone and enjoy my own company is so important so I never have to go through the horrible feeling of being scared to be alone again. If anyone wants to pm me please feel free, I have a lot of time on my hands lol.

The ex has liked my FB post this morning, it’s like he wants to keep being friendly

@Newlife197
His depression is probably real, he should be depressed after losing you. I understand, You can’t be any fairer than that and it’s really nice of you to say you’ll be there for him. You sound like the catch, and he’s a fool for letting you go x
Mine is having a proper mid life life crisis, I know it’s genuine as it’s been around for a few months and I understand that this Covid situation has made it worse. He couldn’t talk to me about it because I was too involved to be objective, and was just upset when he said he just wanted to run away & travel. So Ive been ignoring the issue and I guess it’s just been building up for him.

Anyone else find weekends the hardest? No more morning text. I find that I think about him more at the weekends. He's on bumble and tinder. If he doesn't want to 'know' me then good luck to him. It's his loss.

Hope we are all ok.

@flirtingwith40 that’s very sweet of you to say x Who knows whether realising he didn’t have feelings for me caused the depression or the other way round and hopefully at some point he too will realise what a fool he was x

I definitely think in your situation give yourself and him a bit more time to deal with your feelings now and hopefully you will find a way back.

Message me anytime you want to chat or feel lonely or feel tempted to reach out x

@namechangedforthis123456 good to hear from you. Weekends are horrible. They drag dreadfully and I miss the lazy lie in’s having tea in bed snuggled with him.

But I’m really pleased to see that you know it’s his loss. That means you are starting to feel better about yourself x

Is there not a way to do a group chat thing so it's easier for everyone to chat when they are struggling and reply?

@krkw I’m new to this so no idea, but sounds like a good idea to me.

I was thinking about a what's app group but I wouldn't know how to start one

I'd be interested in WhatsApp group if you'll have me?