Feeling sad

[SissyLongStockings]

Hi all.
Just needed a handhold really. Going through the stages of being heartbroken and on my own.
Always wake up this time of night missing him. Then cant get back to sleep.
I get that horrible wave of sadness and gut churnning knowing I will never see him again.
When will it end?

namechanged can you asked to be moved somewhere away from him? Would you be able to approach your supervisor and confide in them?

Im so stupid I text him again, asking to see him, Im so angry at myself. He did reply and just said "busy" no politeness or anything. So a week of grieving and Im back to square one. I need to delete his number but I just cant. This is taking over my life.

@mermaidwaves

dont beat yourself up! I was there too and slipped up but it got longer and longer between and easier and easier to not message. i slowly stopped thinking about him a little less every day. You will get there but it will have its ups and downs

@mermaidwaves why did you feel you needed to see him? And his response wasn’t necessary. At least mine said if you need any jobs done that you can’t do let me know and I’ll help you. Must be careful not to get friend zoned and have the trauma of hearing about the next girl he wants to take on holiday and marry

It was a moment of madness! And I hate myself for saying this but if he had agreed we both know it would have led to a hook up, which would have made me feel 100% worse afterwards. I feel where he's concerned I act like this pathetic woman whos desperate for his crumbs. If it was a friend I would tell her she's worth so much more! Definately no to being friend zoned, and hearing about their love lives and having to act OK with it, that would be worse than being ignored I think.

@mermaidwaves don’t beat yourself up. It’s done now, so back to ignoring him and fixing yourself. You are not a pathetic woman you are just someone who loved someone and would give anything to be with them. I would still go running back if I thought I could and then go through this all again. The only thing keeping me from reaching out is knowing once his mind is made up he never goes back on a decision so it’s futile.

Today I have evil thoughts though. I hope he meets someone who has a really messy house and that doesn’t work out, the next one doesn’t have any money, so that doesn’t work out and the next one wants to move into his after a couple of weeks. Then he will realise what a great catch I was and regret it by which time I will have realised that I don’t want to be with someone who didn’t see that in the first place. I am thinking that this train of thought isn’t necessarily healthy as I’m obsessing over him meeting someone else.

I want you to make me an online promise that you won’t contact him for 7 days, then we will regroup

@Newlife197 I promise not to contact him for seven days, I will announce it here. Its so painful when he either ignores me or is curt. I know what you mean about the evil thoughts, I'm the same! Hoping she wont understand some of his needs like he said I do.

@Mermaidwaves well done on the online promise. I’m sure you will feel better in a week and we can do this. Staying away from these men is what we need to do to start believing in ourselves.

I’m up after 3 hours sleep and now need to do a full day at work and decide if someone should get the sack or not after yet another argument with my teenage daughter who had been going through my phone and saw a photo of him so won’t accept that I didn’t leave her father because I was having an affair and is hell bent on hating me. The whole situation is a nightmare as I did meet him soon after but it wasn’t because of him and now I wish I never had met him because it wasn’t worth all this when he has merrily disappeared into the sunset and I’m left wondering why my life never goes to plan.

@Newlife197 Im so sorry you're having such a rubbish time, it makes extra stresses so much worse, and I dont know about you but I dont really have anyone I cant vent to about this apart from here. Hope your day gets better

@Mermaidwaves honestly, when I think things are getting better something else comes along. I haven’t really got anyone to rant to either. My mum just goes on about how badly he treated me and she wishes I hadn’t met him and my best friend has 3 relationships on the go which makes me feel worse about why I can’t hold onto 1.

Hope you are all doing ok this morning and let’s battle on through another day without contacting the men who let us down and disappointed us

At 3.14 today it will be a week NC for me i need to keep it up. I watxhed the 365 days film last night which just made me miss my ex more. Hes made me feel really worthless

My ex clung onto me for 6 month after he cheated, saying he loved me and wanted to be with me and even promised our 5yo daughter he would do anything to make it uo and come home... only he was still seeing the OW (as friends apparently 🤣) when he was barely seeing me and her he would pop in now and them and tell me how much time he was spending with her and how much fun it was. Then all I would get was anger, shouting and put downs. He actually used me and our daughter as a cover to his family when he was spending time with her and I knew it too. I was completely pathetic and under the thumb but I got there eventually and even when he said he was struggling and he loved me not long ago I felt absolutely nothing 👍 it wont always be this hard for yous

@Babypiggy well done and keep it up. It does get easier day by day and week by week, I promise x

@krkw it’s really good to have some positives to focus us for those of us who are still in the depths of heartbreak

Feel appalling today. I cant do this anymore it's getting worse every day not better. Had an argument with my mum yesterday and him on WhatsApp. Hes stopped pretending to be nice now.

@knucklehead101

Sorry to hear about your argument with your mum. I argue with mine too as all she says is your better off without him which doesn’t help.

But you can do it and you will

I'm so sorry to hear about arguments with parents, it makes it so much harder doesn't it?! You just feel worse!

How is everyone this Friday? Luckily work has been really busy for me so I've been distracted, albeit Thursday I drove past so many bloody signs for the company he works for, was like ffs.

Hope you have all slept a bit better?

Please everyone find Jay Shetty's podcasts and listen to one or two about relationships. It will help you I promise.

@Doingitaloneandproud

I’m having a terrible day. Problems with my kids over the now ex and wish I had him to talk through it all with but I haven’t got anyone. Really missing him today and dreading my kids going back home tomorrow when it’s going to hit me again that it’s been a month and he hasn’t had a change of heart

Glad your day has been busy so you have been occupied after seeing so many bloody signs

Oh @Newlife197 I'm sorry it's been so rubbish when the kids are gone what have you got planned to distract yourself? I know what you mean, mines been over.a month now and hasn't changed his mind. It kinda makes you gutted really, see all these things about ex's coming back. But maybe one day they will when they see how good we're doing, and we will get there!

Yeah I also watched a film with my little boy, it was good to just distract away. It's the morning texts I think I miss most strangely!

@toucancancan I have actually seen a few of those appear on Facebook etc so I will make the time to sit and listen to them thank you

@Doingitaloneandproud I will probably start being motivated and clean up, then I’ll open a bottle of wine, which will then turn into gin and then ill sit alone and miserable. Cry about how unjust it all is and how no one will ever love me

I suppose I did hope he would change his mind, but I doubt it very much, so we must focus on making ourselves better for us and not them.

@Doingitaloneandproud get you on the morning text, he was always up before me. Also miss being woken up to him kissing my back and having someone to snuggle into in the night

Evening everyone, hope you're all okay.
I'm struggling today, just generally a meh day. I can't focus on anything without my mind going back to him and I'm just so unmotivated to do anything.
I'm 9 days no contact today, I know I will text him at some point but just not yet. The way things ended was a bit iffy, like a joint effort and done so quickly over a few texts; But I want him to know that I miss him and that I want him / us back. I just need to know that I tried, but I need to wait till I'm a bit stronger before I try in case it's a definite no.
Does that make sense.

@flirtingwith40

Evening flirty. You are doing well so far, keep up the good work. I have got to 30 days nearly without reaching out.

You just need to resist reaching out so you are strong and he has time to miss you