Feeling sad

[SissyLongStockings]

Hi all.
Just needed a handhold really. Going through the stages of being heartbroken and on my own.
Always wake up this time of night missing him. Then cant get back to sleep.
I get that horrible wave of sadness and gut churnning knowing I will never see him again.
When will it end?

At least he explained himself a bit better. Maybe that will help you?

Oh god ladies bad day for me. I went on a social distance date with a fella Ive known a little while. I thought it would help me get over my feelings. I ended up crying and telling my date all about it luckily my date was really lovely and kind and understanding, and we agreed I'm not in a good place. But how embarrassing as clearly I'm not ready to meet anyone for a long time. He wasnt my type either initially, I didn't fancy him at first, but he somehow managed to get in my head. Hope you are all ok this evening

Hi Mermaidwaves.
Oh god. How are you feeling now?
At least your trying to move forward.
Thats really nice your date was adult enough to comfort you.

Oh @Mermaidwaves really?

I had a "date" planned for tomorrow, from a guy I met on tinder the day after my break up. I have no interest in him, I have no interest any anyone other than my ex Mr.
Same as you I was doing it to take my mind off things and hope maybe it's a nice day.
I should cancel shouldn't I.
I hope you're doing okay now

Thanks ladies. I went on this date to try and distract myself and see if I can maybe meet someone else who is interested in me as a person. My date innocently asked me about my previous dates and I just burst out crying! I felt awful and I kept apologising. The problem was my date was a lovely man but he wasnt the guy I want and it just highlighted how strongly attaracted I was to my FWB cos the moment I met him I was dumbstruck. Im so worried I wont find that same level of attraction again, on the other hand my longing for him is torture and unhealthy.
flirtingwith40 I would give it a go as your date tommorow might be amazing and just what you need. He might be a better man for you.

@Mermaidwaves at least you got out there and did it, baby steps and all that. I just had a dream that I was trying to ring him to let him know where I was and my phone went weird. Horrible to wake up and realise he doesn't give a fuck anymore

Knucklehead is right Mermaid. You should be proud of yourself- you went out there and gave it a go. Well done you.
Today is a new day ladies.
My mission today is to stop looking at his last seen.
I cant stop thinking about him. But i can try and stop that!

Hi everyone- some amazing support of here. Ive nearly crumbled this morning and messaged and i am so glad i havent. Short term excitement would have resulted in long term disappointment and pain. We are all lovely kind and caring people. Whats for you doesnt go past you. If these guys were our future it would be easy. It not. They just arenr that into us. Not our fault x

Morning all. This helped me quite a lot when I got divorced so if it helps anyone I am glad. Hope you all have a lovely day 💖💖.

Thank you Endless.

Thanks Endless, that is helpful.

I've woken up feeling awful. Thought I had an ok day yesterday. I spoke to him on Saturday night - I initiated it, and we ended up texting until late which we usually do.. the thing is it isn't going anywhere and he doesn't actually want to be with me.

I know he's going to text at some point today, it will probably be a way of initiating sexting but when he does I'm going to tell him I can't do it anymore. He knows how I feel about him and I want more than what he's offering. I can't stand thinking that he might be doing this to other women at the same time as me

I also really don't want to see him when I go back to work

I feel so alone.

Sissy - how is it going for you not looking at his last seen? And how are you feeling today

I'm not interested in anyone else but him and I can't imagine ever dating anyone.

Thank you @Endless11.

Hope we are all feeling a bit better. I still feel sick but am starting to feel more numb now.

Ladies, I'm really sorry you're all going through this. It sucks.

You know what you need to do and what will make it better. Getting in touch/tracking him isnt going to help.

Block.
Put on your fiercest playlist.
Make a list of all the things you want to do for you - holidays, stuff to watch, eat, career, etc.
Get going!
(if in doubt, clean).

@ namechangedforthis.
Ive just checked it!! Never mind I will try again tomorow but I know its habit. Ive kept myself busy this morning and now Ive stopped I automatically checked it.

Sissy just remember you won't just stop checking overnight.. it will take time. Don't blame yourself, give yourself time and be kind to yourself. Set yourself the goal for tomorrow, that you won't check his last seen all day. You can do it. x

Help. I'm so close to ringing him and begging him to change his mind. I cant do it. I've had to take time off work again

@SissyLongStockings I check his last seen too all the time. For some odd reason if he's not online much it comforts me cos then I dont think hes talking to another woman. Thats stupid of course because hes probably actually with her! I also hate it when he's online for an hour or so cos I know hes sexting as thats what he used to do with me. I hate myself for constantly checking.

Thank you ladies for your support.
Its really difficult isnt it?
At least ive stopped driving past his house like a loony.
Just miss him. Would do anything to snuggle in to him again.

I dont know whether this is in anyway useful or not (I hope it is) but I was in this exact position 2 years ago. I lived with my ex and one evening while I was in bed he just disappeared (I've posted about this before) I was absolutely heartbroken and devastated, I didnt think I would ever get over him. I cried constantly, felt absolutely broken. I messaged him, emailed him and called him thousands of times! I begged him to talk to me, sent him essays etc. He completely ignored me but he eventually contacted me a few months later and I let him back, he messed me around for one year and it ended with me falling pregnant last year (I had a termination, my ex was physically and emotionally abusive) and I have now not seen him since May 2019 or heard from him since December 2019.

Now... I feel nothing. I dont hate him, I don't love him. I genuinely feel nothing for him and it is so liberating! I never ever thought I would be in a place where I would ignore him if he contacted me. I thought I would be stuck in a limbo, always waiting around for him and I thought I'd be an anomaly - the person who never moves on!

It is hard, so so hard. But time really is the best healer. I also found keeping myself busy and distracted helped a lot. I went on quite a few dates but that probably wasn't a good idea as I'd get too upset thinking of my ex and comparing everyone to him, it was just to fill a void. I worked on myself a lot, started new hobbies and filled my life with things without him.

I have now met someone else and all of the pain and anguish feels like a distant memory!

I just wanted to say that you will all be okay. Put yourself first and look after yourself, allow yourselves to accept and feel all the new waves of emotions! Get stuck into a box set which absolutely does not remind you of them, go for walks, have a bubble bath, order a take away. It will get better.

Well my day started off well but now I'm lying on the sofa crying.. thinking about starting drinking already.. it's only 5pm.

Thank you for reassuring us it gets better @IAlreadyHadOne

Knucklehead - how are you doing?

Hey namechange how you holding up? Remember what you said to me. Be kind to yourself. Its a horrible situation to be in. But were here to help you ride through it. Accept the wave of pain is happening, talk to us about it and ride it out. Your not on your own. We got you.