Feeling sad

[SissyLongStockings]

Hi all.
Just needed a handhold really. Going through the stages of being heartbroken and on my own.
Always wake up this time of night missing him. Then cant get back to sleep.
I get that horrible wave of sadness and gut churnning knowing I will never see him again.
When will it end?

Oh god @Mermaidwaves this is what I'm dreading.. him meeting someone. I know it's probably only a matter of time. I'm so sorry he said he didn't want a relationship.. mine said the same thing to me. But I think he meant just not with me. It's like a punch in the stomach

His loss though eh? What does she have that you haven't? Nothing. You know how much you had to give and he didn't want it. His loss.

@Endless11 I'm not doing it again. I took a risk and it didn't pay off. Never again.

@namechangedforthis123456 he gave me the impression that he doesnt want to be tied down to anyone, and that he doesnt do relationships. And now he does, but not with me. Im torturing myself about what shes like and how shes managed to get him, where did I go wrong? But deep down I know. It was accepting FWB from the start and not demanding more. Never again will I accept less than I want.

@Mermaidwaves Exactly the same. I wish I could go back in time and do everything differently. Thing is at the time I thought I just wanted FWB with him, didn't think I would grow to like him. But I did, now it's too late.
You sound lovely and like you have a lot to give, like me. We will get over this

@Mermaidwaves Also, surely if they shared the same feelings it shouldn't matter if it started off as FWB or not.. surely. Sometimes I feel like he's shaming me for it in some way. Mine is a total headfuck. He's very smart.

@namechangedforthis123456 thankyou and so do you! We do both deserve better than this, and I guess its a lesson learnt right? Ive never done FWB and like you thought it would just be fun. Maybe its because they were unavailable to us?

So sorry to hear you are all going through this.

I am reminded of a breakup in 2010 when I felt as sad as all of you. One day as I bawled into yet another chilled sauv blanc it struck me that he is not bawling his eyes into a pint over me. In that instant something shifted in me.

I always wanted to be with someone that wanted to be with me. I realised this was not him.

Many years on I am with someone now that literally bends over backwards making sure I am happy. I do the same for him, of course.

I thought I'd never get over the loss in 2010 but I did. It just takes time. Lots of it. Stay strong and remind yourself you will love again.

I think what struck me the most is how he was so in love with me one minute and then the next just ice cold.
I ve been writing a diary of how I feel each day as if Im writing it to him. I talk to him in my mind. Imagaine what I would say if he pulled up at my work and told me he loved me. Sometimes I would snog his face off other times I would just keep walking. Ive dreamt of him only the once. Coming up and talking to me at work. He looked so handsome! He was as loving in that dream as he was when we were together in real life.

I think these guys can be cruel to be honest. Realistically no one goes from loving someone one day to not the next. Theyre game players

Yeah, I think they're good at getting what they want.

I dont have much excuse for being sad about him. Our marriage has been over awhile.
He wasnt very nice anyway. When I told my sister I was crying about him, she told me to get out the list of how he really is on my phone and read it over and over. It helped bring me back to reality.

Just spoken to my friend who works with him. He use to talk to her about me all the time. He hasnt mentioned me at all.

Oh I'm so sorry to everyone going through this. I was dumped by text unexpectedly, well at first told he wanted space and wasn't sure, kept it up for 2 weeks then said he wanted to be single because of work. Low and behold my friend finds him on tinder looking for someone new

I've felt like sh*t since, I cry, get angry, and mostly hurt he went from I was his future, all he wanted, to never talk to me again and you don't exist.

And today my Nan died, so at the moment I just feel like giving up, what is gonna happen next 😔

I haven't text him since last Sunday when tbf I unblocked him to tell him I deserve better and am a better person than him (history on othercthreads lol) and then I blocked him again. Childish maybe but I felt a bit better for it, I just could never treat anyone with such little empathy

Doingitalone im so sorry about whats bappened and your nan passing

I'm in the same situation. The pain is unbearable isn't it? I'll admit I've sent horrible messages. He went from being clingy and suffocating to ignoring me. I'm feeling ill from the stress of it all and all the crying.
God let us heal quickly

Doingitalone im sorry you are going through double the grief.
YouAreMySunshine totally agree with everything you said. I shouldnt have asked my friend about him. It just makes me feel worse and confirms for me he never really loved me as much as he said he did. I just went all in with the relationship. Invested to much in to it. Silly me for believing him.

I'm really feeling for all you ladies, it sounds like we are all experiencing this in a very similar way. Do men feel heartbreak this intensely? Im dreading going to sleep tonight because I dont want to dream of him again, and why is the pain always worse at night?

Sissy dont be hard on yoursel sounds like we all went all in. I know i did. I feel so bloody stupid

@mermaidwaves I am going through something similar although he has just stopped texting me - nothing sent and ignoring me for 3 weeks now so assume has met someone but hasn't even got the balls to tell me. We have been FWB for over 6 years as pathetic as that sounds so it clearly never was going to be me. I just feel so sad about it all but I wont text him now. I'm tempted to send one text calling him out about not just being honest after 6 years and telling him how I feel but dont know if to just completely leave it? I am sorry for all of you and I know this is nothing I'm comparison to a serious relationship ending it out of the blue . It is so much worse now too with too much time to think in lockdown. I'm actually happy to be stressed at work right now!

Msgigglesdont text. Plsndont. You wont feel any better believe me . Your silence is better

@babypiggy yes you are right I was adamant I wanted to text him to sort of close the chapter as didnt want him to pop back up but as each day passes the urge lessens. I am snowed under in work so just the weekends to get through without texting. I think I'm more sad at myself for allowing him to waste so much of my life and now I'm 31. I have a good professional career, bought my own home etc and he is currently not even working with no drive to try and a casual drug user. Completely different to my life so feel even more ridiculous that I'm upset over someone like this. I need to learn some self respect - in normal life I wouldnt put up with it so why do I off him

Im the same. 34 approaching 35. Let someone waste the last two years of my life and i get so cross. Best thing to do though is channel your emotions elsewhwre. If u message then its some contact amd also its pointless. It wont change a thing. These people mever feel bad- theyre very selfish

msgiggles30 Im so sorry you're going through this too. Them meeting someone else is so painful, and of course as its FWB we are not 'supposed' to care. I was guilty of hoping that deep down he felt for me, and looking for any small sign of affection, no matter how remote. Lockdown is definately not helping as we cant all distract ourselves with activities like we normally would be able to.

@babypiggy sorry to hear that but yes they really arent worth it especially when you realise you arent compatible anyway. Selfish is definitely the word, I find it ridiculous how someone cant face up to just sending a txt after all these years but you're right they will just ignore and not give it a second thought if that way inclined anyway! Heres to the future

@Mermaidwaves yes I did the same with the affection and it's been so many years there have been a few mixed messages and comments I've read into over the years and that we always ended up going back even if we didnt speak for a while but it's just all so clear now! I feel the same about not feeling like I should care so barely anyone knows how I actually feel I just brush it off to friends saying hes a loser anyway! X

Hello darkness my old friend