Feeling sad

[SissyLongStockings]

Hi all.
Just needed a handhold really. Going through the stages of being heartbroken and on my own.
Always wake up this time of night missing him. Then cant get back to sleep.
I get that horrible wave of sadness and gut churnning knowing I will never see him again.
When will it end?

Hi.

I think I've found my people. I almost strayed a thread like this earlier but couldn't find the words.

Broke up with my Mr 3 days ago and just can't stop bloody crying and thinking and overthinking and then thinking some more.

I wasn't doing well with lockdown or furlough anyway, now I'm just a mess.

Welcome @flirtingwith40 so sorry to hear you're sad too. How are you feeling @SissyLongStockings hope you managed to get some sleep?

Ladies, i feel for you. But i broke up with the first man i loved after my marriage around 2 months ago. It was AWFUL. Insomnia, crying, defeated, worthless - the lot

but, it is already getting better. I went through all the stages; anger, denial, bargaining etc but finally acceptance. About 3 weeks ago, i jad a massive cry all morning replaying in my head a voice message that he had once sent me about taking care of me. But it was cathartic. It was a real acceptance rather that the shocked emotions i had felt before.

3 days later, i started chatting to someone on a OL app and it feels really good. . Nothing serious but the space he occupied in my head and day is being filled by someone else.

Take heart, it does get better

10 years here and still little things knock me back. Last weeks was seeing my replacement post on a neighbourhood forum about a missing parcel. I now know his new address 😀 but why am I still bothered ? I put it down to never really having met anyone else for a LTR so have no one to take my mind off it. Don't get me wrong, I am over it (but I reckon it was 6 years before I was and we were only together 3) but I do miss my life as it was then because we did lovely things, he made me laugh and was great fun. He just obviously wasn't that into me like I was to him. I didn't see the break up coming and it devastated me. I also think some of it is because I wasn't in control of the decision to end it and wasn't what I wanted. If it had been me who had reached the end of the line I'd have moved on instantly - like he did. I still hope I'll meet someone else but I'm 60 nearly and I do think at 50 you become invisible and no matter how well you look after yourself you're no longer relationship material 😥😥. Ah well, luckily I love my life and I'm blessed with great friends and I'm happy in my own skin.

I hope everyone managed to get some sleep? I have been taking herbal sleeping aids the last couple of Nights as I've been shattered and they work really well. At least no 2am wake ups for a couple of hours

Thank you for your comments regarding my Nan

I think we all seem to go all in on relationships and I did think that was a bad thing but I'm realising I'm always going to be that way, I don't just date someone just to pass the time. My ex does the same thing to every woman (only known now) so he'll be aiming to do it to his new victim on Tinder

We'll get better soon, one day it won't seem as dark, I think when lockdown eases a bit and things can start being done again it'll help. Usually I'd be seeing friends, going to the pub etc and obviously can't do that, so it's more time alone with the feelings

I did write a list yesterday of things I want to do this year if I can and it's giving me something to aim for. Even decided to finally learnt to fly a very small plane-always wanted to and I think after this year I deserve to do something I want!

Let's all take some time to be sad for what we've lost but then remember they lost someone who really loved them and wouldn't have given up-that's a greater loss IMO

X

Morning everyone.
How are you all doing?
@Knucklehead101 I managed to drift off back to sleep after staring at his last seen on whatsapp for a couple of hours. Replaying all the happy times in my head over and over. I wish i could dream about him more-at least I could see him. How are you coping today?

@Doingitaloneandproud I like that idea of a list. Thats something to work on.

@GinisLife That is a long time to get over someone. Did you communicate with him in those 10 years.

Morning! I had the most terrifying dream I've ever had and I've woken up feeling tired and sick

I think we need to make a vow on here not to message them, not to check last seens and not call them etc. If we keep doing it we will never get over them and i think hanging on to memories makes it worse! If we still have our heads thinking of them i reck it will prevent us from meeting anyone else?!

I'm almost certain I'm never going to meet anyone else!

@knucklehead
Me to.
@Babypiggy
I think the trouble is i understand i cant call him/message him. But his last seen is something i can do without him knowing. God i hate him for not caring about me. What a liar! Even if I did meet someone I dont think i could trust them.

@Knucklehead101 what did you dream about? I had a horrible dream about mine Thursday night and had to face him all day Friday. I even told him about the dream. Dreams are horrible and that one quite literally broke my heart

I hope you are ok. Remember it's only a dream

I have been using the headspace app for getting back to sleep and I've found it really good. I have night terrors and sleep paralysis anyway and there are sections for terrors, night chatter etc. @SissyLongStockings I totally understand the WhatsApp thing as it seems harmless, you could turn your last seen off and then you wouldnt be able to see his either? If it's a habit you cant break. If nine mine used any social media I would be looking at it do, he only uses texts which us annoying but good in another way x

Oh my gosh so many auto correct mistakes sorry!

Hes been in my head all morning. Today is going to be a difficult day.
I hate how much I want him. Thing is when i met him he wasnt even my type! Didnt find him attractive at all. But he pursued me. Didnt ever think i would feel like this. Mind you I didnt think he would do this to me.

Hate how one minute hes at the back of my mind and he crawls his way to the front. He said some really hurtful things when we broke up and there always the first things i remember

I had a dream that my girls and I were being raped by a demon 😱. Weirdly I haven't dreamed about S which is weird because I always dreamed about him before. Every single night. I know it will co.e though and I'm dreading it

Hey knucklehead
That sounds hourrendous.
Have you messaged him today? Stay strong hun

Yes I have. We are chatting like nothing has happened. I'm so ashamed of myself but I need this.

No i get it knucklehead I really do. Is there potential for you and him?
Im sitting on settee imagining if i close my eyes and focus hard enough i will open them and be on his sofa cudderling up with him.

@SissyLongStockings no I didn't. And I think that was another part of why it took so long to get over as there was never any closure. I never got to say my piece about how badly he ended it and how I knew he'd cheated on me. Bumped into him in the supermarket a couple of years ago and said a bit but he denied it.

@GinisLife
God they make you sick dont they? I think in my case he just had his fun and that was it. I dont think it was his kids at all. If you love someone as strong as he said he did you work through it-whatever it is. He just didnt want to. I know i will be better off without him but right now it just doesnt feel that way at all. Heres to another sleepless night!

DH has recently reconnected with his “first love” after 35 years. He did tell me and I initially didn’t think it was a problem. But since he’s crap at IT and she keeps appearing on Feb friends I might know list I looked at his Feb and they have been chatting regularly. I messaged her to back off. So hoping she takes the hint. Very pissed off particularly since we have really reconnected ourselves since DC are growing up. I will be having a long chat with him since he’s obviously having negative thoughts about us. Been together for 28 yrs and I’m not about to throw in the towel.

Total predictive text fail. She keeps popping up on friends I may know on Facebook so I have got the gist of their chats

I split with my bf a few weeks back. I actually posted on here asking for advice on something he'd done. Long story short our relationship ended in a blaze of glory with me telling him to get out of my life (words to that effect anyway!) I was however distraught, he was like a drug to me. Spent days crying and feeling completely helpless, felt like I was sinking. Decided to remove myself from all of my social media accounts, only communicate with close family and 1 friend and clear my head. Decided when I felt better I'd allow myself to re activate everything and have general chit chat with other mates ( I had told them what I was doing, didn't just dissappear) guess it was like removing some pleasures out of life until I saw sense, tough love on myself maybe. Soon came to realise he wasn't worth the time or head space. Literally 2 weeks on I feel free and can see the bad stuff in our relationship over any good. I'm not suggesting anyone isolates themselves, especially not at the moment but a bit of de cluttering worked wonders for me.

Thank you . No hope for us I'm afraid he's made it clear that he just wants to be friends. I'm glad I did get back in touch because he did explain himself a bit and it made me feel better but now we are talking like we always did. Because it's a LDR theres not much different to before except he isnt calling me baby anymore and I know I wont hear his voice every day. Our relationship really wasnt that brilliant. Wtaf is the matter with me?