24 year old nephew does not communicate

[LOVELYDOVEY05]

It is always me that has to phone and mostly I do not get a reply. We
live nearby but it is always me who goes there to help with shopping etc I look after their dog sometimes for a week or so but was told by him that it could have gone in the kennels.He mostly ignores me when I go there or goes upstairs but I only go there to help out
In fact any communication between us is via a third party usually his mother.
she tells me it is quite normal for youngsters not to bother with their
older relatives . I have stopped going there at Xmas etc and giving presents as I find it too exhausting. Also reducing phone calls to very limit.
Is this normal that one has to make all the effort all the time?

[Iseeareddoor]

I don’t know why your nephew won’t communicate with you, you sound lovely OP.

Just kidding.

Why don’t you leave this family alone and go and spend time with those you claim do wish to see you.

Problem solved.

[monkeymonkey2010]

I was able to work p/time but his Mum is younger and needed to keep her job so I helped them both

None of this is your RESPONSIBILITY.....yet his mum and you both think it is!
Personally i think your sister is taking the piss out of you.
Doing exactly as she pleases re getting a dog they can't look after and passing the responsibility onto you.

HELPING family is fine......allowing yourself to become codependent, living in each others pockets and enabling an unhealthy enmeshed dynamic is NOT fine.

[monkeymonkey2010]

One day I went round there and he took down his trousers . Repulsive
Yep....and i bet a pound he did it deliberately to piss you off so much that YOU STOP suffocating/smothering him.
I actually feel bad for him that he's had to resort to 'desperate measures' to get his message across.

he's a 24 year old MAN, an ADULT.
Regard him as such.

[AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter]

One day I went round there and he took down his trousers . Repulsive

Blimey this thread just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

So, now you say you find him "repulsive" and offensive? yet you want him to ring you regularly for a chat?

Alrighty then.

[Haffiana]

I think you should carry on sulking at him OP, and not speak to him until he learns the error of his ways.

That way both of you will be perfectly happy.

[espressoontap]

[Bumbelinaaa]

So when you visit the either ignore you or moon at you?? I don’t think they want you there.

Read the room OP

[Shortfeet]

Eh?

[AriadnesFilament]

This thread gets more and more peculiar with every update.

OP, I think you might need to go back and type this out with lots more detail if you want any useful input because right now, with what you’ve provided, it’s impossible.

You might think that what you’ve said is obvious but trust me, it’s like trying to look through a window smeared with marshmallow: thick, sticky, and occluded - you can see vague shapes of what’s there but you’re not quite sure either way if what you’re seeing is correct.

Tbh, if this is how you communicate in real life you may well have your answer as to why things with your sister and nephew are the way they are.