Dating Thread 190 - Living La Vida Lockdown but not out...

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I have two dates tomorrow with Mr Smooth and Mr... Stick. Thinking of not meeting Smooth as I'm not feeling it, too boring.

Have also spent last two evenings chatting to Mr Filth who is great fun and very interesting and funny.

And meanwhile my ex who told me I should move on with my life and date is telling me he's jealous and instead of the "I don't see a future for us" is now telling me he doesn't know what he wants. I know what I want: him. But it has to be either we stay as friends all he's all in and knows that it's me he wants. And I keep dating while he works that out. Does that sound like a sensible approach?

@Oopsiedaisyy he may be the type that he doesn’t want you but doesn’t want anyone else to have you either. I would definitely not wait around to see what he decides -keep dating. There was a reason he told you to move on the first place and I would be careful not to put too much of yourself back with him. I know this because when my ex told me he was online dating my first reaction was to be upset and wonder should we try again -it was really a reaction to the change and not me wanting him back

That could be true, there are also various other complications that he needs to address. I've told him make that decision then get back to me about us. We are friends but it's hard to know what to do, of course I want him, but not as things were.

Just hopped over from the last thread.
Mr Aero could come over this weekend. What are we allowed to do? Can we kiss? I'm really really missing contact and I don't think we could stop ourselves having sex...

@NetDesMamans1 this may be shocking but I'm intending to 'get close' to Mr Music tonight. 😋

But that ship sailed when I met him last week

Yeah, that ship sailed way out the harbour and currently mid Atlantic

craving and oopsie - haha!

Silicone substitute (a birthday present from him) is kinda helping, but still.....

I've have to share this message I got on pof. Not sure if it was meant to be an insult or a chat up line.

It went on a bit so I've extracted the highlights
"I've spent 5minutes in total shock at your profile. How can a gorgeous woman like you say you like Dr Martens.
They are ugly boots and don't do justice to your long sexy legs. Women like you should wear heels and stockings, not ugly boots.
How can you expect a man to like you if you don't appreciate your own beauty"

It went on for another couple of paragraphs about what I should & shouldn't wear.

Spoke too soon Mr Music cancelled, too much shit to do today, too tired, etc. Etc. I tried to speak to him about it but it just felt pointless as he just said I've met you at a shit time.

I told him message heard and take care.

I won't message again.

I'm really upset, I genuinely liked him, but if he can't prioritise a couple hours with me to recharge then no point in me pushing forward.

What a saddo, Echo. He probably has a foot fetish and just wanted to get it off his chest. I think your profile is a great mix so don't listen to that fool

That's shit @cravingthelook, you're right though. He's not worth chasing.

@echoelephant cheeky sod! why do people feel the need to make negative comments. if it's not ur thing just swipe left and dont message! I'd message back saying thanks for the advice but your quite happy the way you are.

@cravingthelook sorry that's how he is being. I know exactly how u feel, even if things arent serious is it too much to spend some time especially if already arranged and not be picked up just when they feel like it.

I am ready for binning the apps but I know I'll be bored. if anyone else asks me my fav position or tells me that they're horny I think I might scream. I just wish someone would like to get to know me for me, not how I am in bed 😥

I was tempted to send a photo of me in my work boots. But I thought might tip him over the edge. So I just blocked him instead.
He was late 50s, wearing a football shirt to hide his enormous beer gut. So not exactly making the most himself either.

cravingthelook sorry to hear that Mr Music cancelled. You're right that you shouldn't chase him. But it still hurts when you got on so well.

Sorry @cravingthelook that's shit 🙁

@echoelephant 😂😂 insane. Anyone up for a quick rich scheme and make a book of all these insane chat up lines?

@Oopsiedaisyy keep dating and let him sort his head out and be careful that he may want you and then whatever reason you stayed just friends has not changed, it might end with you just getting messed about.

@cravingthelook sorry to hear that 😔.

I had my therapy session today and we discussed why I always end up love bombed and then falling too fast. Very interesting food for thought about not being able to make myself happy so I reply totally in others doing it for me. I think there is a lot of truth in it tbh

for those in England. BBC News - Coronavirus: Single people can stay the night with loved ones, PM says
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52998806

Thanks

It hurts

@cravingthelook what self care plans have you got tonight?

[quote crazycatlady20]for those in England. BBC News - Coronavirus: Single people can stay the night with loved ones, PM says
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52998806[/quote]
Surely if a date can now stay over people can maybe forgo social distancing on a date as long as they aren’t going on dates with different people in a short time frame.

@CheesecakeAddict I'm on the couch watching tv. I need to tidy up and do some more work. I just don't feel like it. I just feel sad.

@cravingthelook if it's any consolation my Mr Music who I've been talking to as a friend on and off for 6 months since our one date actually denied ever having suggested a date last week. He had suggested a day and every thing. Then when I asked he said we hadn't agreed it!

I'm finally out. Shame because I would actually have just liked to be friends. But I don't need friends like that any more than I need a boyfriend like that!

Ps my bubble is empty except for me and my kids and I feel sadder than when I wasn't allowed a bubble!

@Eesha Hey! How are you? Yes we are still together, loved-up and smug as shit . It has been nearly 2 years now. I'll always be grateful to this thread for introducing us to each other, and for all the great advice we both received on our various other dating activities at the time. Seems a lifetime ago now, and it all started with me offering him a profile review!!!

it all started with me offering him a profile review!!!

From which you concluded:

too old
too far away
so not your type

Hi @BendyLikeBeckham and @Kin2, I don’t remember what my name was back then or even if I had one, but I remember the uproar at the time and I simply didn’t understand why passions ran quite so high, so I dipped out as a result. I’m glad you are both happy though. Love can appear in the strangest and sometimes most inconvenient of places, it should never be something to apologise for 😍

@cravingthelook sorry to hear about Mr Music crying off. I had high hopes for you guys!

I got a message notification on my email from Match from Mr Nice. Clicked on it and poof! Mr Nice has turned off his profile. How completely weird. He seemed so keen. Ironically I wasn't all that keen and perhaps I made that too obvious but, as always, I'm more curious about him now than I was before!

Not having much luck at this OLD lark. That and the bubble news tonight has made me sad. @cheerup - my bubble is just my kids and I too. All this talk of grandparents being able to hug their grandchildren and both my parents have passed on :(