Walking away from a narcissist- advice please

[Nursing2029]

Hi
After posting yesterday its clear I am dealing with a narcissist.
For some reason i am finding it hard to walk away - fear or change, I still have feelings and disruption to my kids are the things I think about( they are not his kids).
Any advice on how to get away from him would be good, I didn't realise until yesterday how much he has mucked about with my head x

@vodkacranberryplease
Every single day.
Needs to put his feet up. Tiring day working from home. Its depressing.

@vodkacranberryplease
That made me laugh too.
It's an appropriate description

Honestly, kick him to the kerb. You don't need this.

How can you even look at him of an evening now without a sneer?

I am imagining him a bit like Count Duckula shows age stalking arrogantly round your house quacking away with dramatic swishes of his cape.

@Torktorkbam
I cant look at him without feeling angry. This has not happened before..I usually forget but putting this altogether has made me realise what a total dick he is.
That made me laugh, he is apparently superior to me, another joke.
This anger is what I need to jump in the pool :)

This is the perfect time to make a joke about his age. Ask him if he wants you to get some Horlicks in for his grandad naps.

@Torktorkbam
I am staying strong and he is hating it. Thanks so much for this support
It has made me see him for what he is.
Bought 2 new recipe books today so I can fill my time and get over my fear of being single.

What's LD doing now he is rested?

@Torktorkbam
Sitting with his feet up watching TV, I can see why he needed more energy.
Did you have someone like this in your life?
How long is it going to take me to feel better?

You cant heal a wound with a splinter still in it. Gotta take it out, wrap on a bandage and give it some time to heal.

Does he have a key to your place?

I have a large extended family with more than its fair share of absolute loons of various kinds. I think we call them toxic on MN. I have learned how to handle them and see right through it.

I have a sneaking suspicion you are going to bounce back extremely quickly now you see Lord Dickhead for what he is.

Dare you demand to watch something else on your tv because his thing is boring? Assuming it is boring.

@Bunnymumy
He does have a key for mine.
I bought some aromatherapy oils today to help with sleep and stress.
I can see how good things will be without him, I just need to make the final step.

Hi there , sounds like you are having a stressful evening .... I did some reading about stress earlier in lockdown . My head's a mess but basically when your stressed you release hormones , namely adrenaline and cortisol .... And this happening over and over and over again puts your physical health in jeopardy . So ..... Think how much better you will feel WHEN this old man toddles off!!!

Because it's got to be when not if , you will be happier without him , you will be dancing in the kitchen not baking . Think of Nicole Kidman when she got rid of Tom Cruise !!!!! How much does he actually add to your life . You are maybe a bit addicted to him, but if you were addicted to crack cocaine you'd be looking to get it out if your life? You're better than this and you're better than him xxxx

@TorkTorkBam
Funny you should mention it, it is mostly boring stuff he watches. He usually isn't in the mood for things I choose, good god this guy is absolutely awful. Why did I not see this?

You are not in the mood for what he is watching.

Watch what you want.

On your own TV. Using your TV licence and electricity. In your own house. Sitting on your own sofa.

Cheeky bastard.

Might be wise to change the locks when you split up. He sounds the type to refuse to give you your keys back/make copies.

@CrazyDaysAndMondays
Hi. I hope you are well.

I think the corosil one leads to keeping weight on, I am my heaviest ever.

Are you ok?
I am addicted to him, i would agree but i can now see him for what he is.
I remember seeing the photo of Nicole after her divorce and wondering why she was so happy, arms stretched out. I totally get it now.
This has been such an eye opener xxxx

@TorkTorkBam
I know. I have let this happen and I am so angry with myself.
He is a self centred selfish prick.

God why don't you just tell him to go home?

Now I mean. Just say you feel sick. And that you want your key back. He will be so shocked he will probably do it.

@Bunnymumy
Good point. I hope this doesn't happen to me again.
My eyes have been opened wide.
I honestly thought my post the other day would result in replies saying its normal etc. That's just the tip of the iceberg too
I am sure he was sexting someone and also found weird weird porn on his phone.

@Vodkacranberryplease
I want to walk from him, I can't be bothered with his drama of packing up etc.

Or find his key, take it, and next time he leaves send him a text once he's gone just ssying 'this isn't working for me any longer. We need to break up. The age difference is starting to show and I need more energy and positivity in my life. Let me know where I should send your stuff'

@vodkacranberryplease
That is exactly the way I think it should be, then I have control. If that makes sense?

What drama? Isn't it your place? Take his damn key, bin him when he leaves, then tell him his stuff (if there's lots) will be outside at x time on x date. Then block his number. Pack it nicely up and make sure it's there - safely just before he arrives. Or if you can get a minicab to take it to him then do.

Or pack it up, drive it there when you know he's home. Put it on the doorstep then text that it's there. Then block him again.

Honestly, it's all pretty straightforward really. Just imagine his shitty smug face. What an arse. Weird porn and sexting too. What on earth are you doing???