Walking away from a narcissist- advice please

[Nursing2029]

Hi
After posting yesterday its clear I am dealing with a narcissist.
For some reason i am finding it hard to walk away - fear or change, I still have feelings and disruption to my kids are the things I think about( they are not his kids).
Any advice on how to get away from him would be good, I didn't realise until yesterday how much he has mucked about with my head x

@TorkTorkBam
Thanks:)
This makes so much sense.
Hopefully you ladies will be around afterwards to help?
This has been so helpful, it has totally opened my eyes xx

@Vodkacranberryplease
Any recovery makes him worse.
I spent 10 weeks going to a group that really helped , everytime I came back he said I was in a funny mood. Yeah a strong one.
He isn't happy in life all that makes him happy is running.
There have been enough scenarios that should have made me leave not infront of the kids.
Grabbed me once and bruised my arm, i have just been in such low low place.
He was in my face that day and I snapped and I think he got a fright and grabbed me.
Writing and reading all this makes me realise
how little I value myself.
He has dragged me in made me think i depend on him then made me feel crazy.

When you end it sharp and hard with him, you'll probably be shaking like a leaf but afterwards you will feel like Xena the blimming warrior princess shows age

@TorkTorkBam
That made me laugh.
Thanks:)
I know there is never a fix for this, just realised when I thought things were fixable all the things we spoke about he has made worse over time. X

Wear an empowering accessory when you ditch him.

I have some sparkly hair clips a dear friend gave me as a joke. I have been known to wear them to high powered terrifying business meetings buried in my updo to remind me that I can do this and if it turns out I can't then I've got a friend to laugh about it with.

I have a worn out studded belt from the nineties that is totally out of fashion. Sometimes I wear it with a top over it so I can pretend I am some kind of warrior.

I can go to the drawer any time and look at the hairclips and belt to get a little boost of "I can do this".

Something silly but tangible like that might help.

@TorkTorkBam
Great idea, something to remind me of who I am, not the pathetic person I have become.not looking for sympathy lol, if i was on the outside looking in its what I would be thinking.
I might chuck him out just before his nap, really arse his afternoon up x

Genius.

Oh now that would be just sublime x

And isn't it funny how when someone says he will do (insert awful thing here) you always come back and say....'well now that you mention it' and cite an example that makes me want to cause him ABH. Something so awful just when you thought it couldn't be worse.

Go and have a good long look at that bit of paper that says you did it. You know who you are - he can't wipe that out. That's a part of you, not a different person.

@Vodkacranberryplease
Thank you, I will.
I know that part has scared me that I have an example of most things.
Its funny how he has made me look and feel unstable x

And when you close that door behind his shitty pile of crap on the doorstep you will be that so called unstable person no more.

Don't fall for that. 'Unstable' is the shit they use on you. Oldest trick in the book. You must not give that one even a second as it is in no way true.

Also am I the only one to think that a grown man that has a nap every afternoon a bit ick? It's the least sexy thing I've heard today. Just so... pathetic.

What's he doing now @Nursing2029

Watching boring shit on your telly again?

@Vodkacranberryplease
It is ick. On Saturday he got up at 9.30 is sat his arse on the couch then napped at 2.
Super sexy lol

@TorkTorkBam
Yes he is. I am going to take what little belongings he has left here to his tomorrow while he is at work.
So when it happens there is nothing he needs to come back for :)

Oooo are you???? How fabulous! Can you get hold of his key? Will you say anything or just turn up?

I remember in the days of faxes (now that really IS showing my age Tork) there were tails of people sending 'you're dumped' faxes to people's works 😂. Let's just hope that there's screcrptionist abc that they are an awful gossip 😁

Are you feeling a little frisson of power knowing this while he is in blissful ignorance? I'd feel a little spark in me.

@Vodkacranberryplease
I already have a key going to put it there so when I pull the plug he has nothing to get back :)
A you're dumped fax, that is harsh lol x

@TorkTorkBam
Yes its exactly how I feel :). Let's hope it stays that way xx

I knew of an Interflora delivery to the office with a "You are dumped" card. We all gathered round his desk to see who sent the flowers. The receptionist made a big show of bringing them over. He was cheating.

@TorkTorkBam
That is brilliant, wouldn't waste my money in him though:) x

Oh no that is so good Tork. A waste of money? Send really cheap shitty ones! A double whammy!

Or a barber shop quartet with a witty ditty of reasons why he is dumped!

Ok funky pigeon do a personalised photo balloon with message for a mere £20. Tacky, and so public. Imagine a 'it's over' meme on it. Any image you want - ideas?

I just think one of these two... could be so perfect 😁