Would you be annoyed at this what partner did to son

[maria860]

We had a BBQ today stepkids came over and my partner and teenage son were having a water fight my son is 13.
We have a really big swimming pool what is fixed in the garden but the heater isn't working at the moment so it's freezing cold and it's quite deep aswell.
They were water fighting and it was getting out of hand and I tried to intervene at this point. My son is a young 13 very unconfident insecure and has anxiety he isn't a good swimmer and never goes in the pool like the other kids.
So my partner runs over grabs my son and throws my son in fully clothed. My son came up and was literally gasping for breath and had a full on panic attack and was crying and asking for his inhaler as he's got Asthma.
I got my son out the pool and he was beside himself I think it was the shock of it as the water was freezing. I shouted at my partner that he was out of order doing that to him and that I didn't agree with it.
My son was crying his eyes out and having a panic attack and I had to calm him down while my partner said well he was getting me so what did he expect wasn't even bothered I told him what a dick thing it was to do Beens as my son just threw a bit of water over him.
He didn't check he was ok or even apologise till ages after but he did say sorry in the end.
My son was crying in his room after for ages I think it hurt his pride a bit to maybe like I said he's been shy and not confident at all.
Well now we aren't speaking he said I spoke to him like shit and he didn't like it, well I didn't like the whole thing what happened full stop.
I'm willing to forget about it as he said sorry and hope he didn't mean to be an ass but he's refusing to speak to me at the moment and is sat in another room.
What do u guys thinks ? Hope I've posted in the right area

I just want to point out no one bullies my child I love my kids and I don't need a man I've got a decent job and my own money.

Put your money where your mouth is and ditch the fucker tonight

If someone did this to my young son I would call the police and have them arrested, it is assault.Him being your partner does not lessen that.

He’s abusive. He was cruel and he deliberately terrified and humiliated your son, in an act of power, just because he could.

Tell him to fuck off. Stand up for your child.

How is he normally with your DS ?

I would be fucking livid if anyone did that to my child.

Is he normally a twat, OP, or was this a moment of bad judgement that he then doubled down on because he felt ashamed/embarrassed?

My dd (13) would absolutely hate that. If my DH did that to her, I would have to leave him. He wouldn’t though!

Your partner's a prize bellend and there's no way I'd just forgive and forget. Agree with pp he's showing your poor son who's in charge. What do you think is going to come next? It's going to get worse, not better.

It clearly bothered you enough to post here though. You're not happy. How many kids are they currently? Does he treat his own different to yours? Just because you're pregnant doesnt mean you cant leave. Its always the case with these posts step dads behaviour awful and then the op states their pregnant and cant leave.

Sometimes they get along really well and are friends for walks together etc but they have had problems but usually because my son is messy teenager and things so they sometimes bicker about that. I wouldn't say I'm worried about them I think my son finds an older male figure that isn't his dad hard at times but it's not new I've been with him a good few years now.
I think today just shocked me a lot.

My son does not get bullied by him I wouldn't let that happen. That's why I'm posting this incident to her advice and perspective please not a loads of verbal off people.

He just did, though. You're willing to allow your child to take bullying off this bloke but not 'a load of verbal off people' for their pointing out that this chap is abusive.

I didn't say I can't leave it my own house.

I’m sorry you’re having a child with this man

It's your own house? DP has no rights over it?

He could have drowned. He could have gone in to cold water shock depending on how cold the pool is. This wasn't just not funny, it was bloody dangerous and I would be absolutely fuming.

It’s just as bad as if he had hit him. Probably even worse
Seriously? same with all the drama queens with the exerting power/control
Yes it was unpleasant but it sounds a spur of the moment thing, would all be coming out with this if it was another teenager or his own dad??
He’s apologised and OP says he’s not a bully but one daft incident and he’s basically an abusive thug 🙄🙄

@SomeoneElseEntirelyNow he does stupid things sometimes but never where I've thought wow like I did today and I think because I went completely mental he felt like a prize dick he went all red. He knew he crossed the line but then played it off as a joke.

That was extremely unkind.

You wouldn’t have asked what people thought about if deep down you didn’t know it was Awful.

Do you know why his marriage broke down?

If a flash of anger at getting a bit wet on a hot day as part of a water game means he thinks it is ok to throw a water-phobic child into deep water and NOT help him get out when he panicked, imagine how he could react with a baby that won’t stop crying for no reason. If you hadn’t been on hand your son could have drowned. The poor boy must have been petrified. No wonder he was crying.

Your poor DS.
If anyone did that to my son he would be gone.
He's a bullying bastard.

He knows your son had asmtha, I take it?

And he knows he's not a confident swimmer?

He is in the wrong, just stick to your guns. Dont talk to him let him come to you.

What did he do after he pushed him in? Did he look like he might help him out or did he walk away etc.?

So your 13 year old is stuck with this man for the remainder of his childhood because you are pregnant?

Does he see his dad? You may find he feels safer there. Asthma attacks are terrifying.

I can't remember what he did I got my son out and he was crying and he was going come on it was a joke but I was to busy focusing on helping my son and ignored him then he walked off and sat down. I went in helped my son and went back out to him and told him exactly what I thought and he tried to justify it but was spluttering over his words.