Thoughts on men that like younger women

[namechangeagain12]

So I seem to come across a lot of blokes late 20's early 30's who like younger girls, between 19-21. I know we are only talking around 10 years age gap here but I think it's disgusting...

I remember when I was 19 at uni and my flat mate's 29 year old friend was trying to sleep with me - I thought he was weird as hell! I was never a immature 19 year old but still, 19 to me is still VERY young.

Is this totally normal? Am I being unreasonable here for judging a bloke for constantly liking younger girls photos? I appreciate these girls look late 20's but for some reason it freaks me out and puts me right off them.

Not sure what I'm asking here, just after a gentle discussion

Was over the park the other day. My 15 year old DD was lying in picnic rug whilst I was getting ice cream. She's quite big busted but wasn't wearing anything revealing. Saw a group of 3 blokes walk past her and couldn't stop staring at her. My guess is they were perving, were in late 20's I'd say. She's only 15. Grossed me out!

And can't we just accept that people naturally, instinctively find youthfullness more physically attractive than age? I would've thought that would have been common sense.

You mean, can't we agree you are right? Well no because I disagree. Because not everyone does. Because there would be no men or women, getting involved with older partners.

And it certainly isn't down to fertility.

I would also say of the most visually attractive women I know (and who receive lots of attention from males) are in their 40s. Older than me. Not only are they attractive they are incredibly confident. If I had to swop places I know several older women I would opt to swop with. Cant think of anyone younger I would. Some men are put off by how self assured they are. But they are the men that want the position of power over a woman.

Also fertility can be off putting. My cousin is 27 and has 6 kids. She is very attractive (& clearly very fertile) constantly moans how no one decent is interested. The only men that chat her up are the ones that assume she is a struggling single mum and dying to have a waster move in with her. She certainly isn't, as soon as they get that message, they ghost her.

I think you're all overthinking it, it is very simple.

Younger women = more fertile.

Mens brains are hardwired to find younger women more physically attractive than older women.

I do agree that the intellectual differences mean it makes most age gap relationships unsustainable, but the attraction will always be there.

It makes older women uncomfortable/outraged but there is simply nothing to be done about it. It is what it is.

I have always been attracted to older men, happy to answer any questions!

There’s a big difference though between saying young people , men and women are more attractive , and saying women are attractive for the time they are fertile which is decades shorter than men! To then make such a statement as Scott72 does and refuse to acknowledge that men have the upper hand because of social conditioning to be seen as knowledgeable, suave , distinguished etc whilst older women are generally devalued because the one thing they were valued on being youth/ fertility is gone is disingenuous
Far from taking it personally I think this is more of a issue where women are being treated as their worth is in their child baring abilities and appearance. I think the argument of us finding one another ‘prettier’, or not, when we are younger is irrelevant because obviously plenty of women are dating these older men and have no problem with their looks or declining fertility.
There’s clearly an imbalance in how men and women are treated that has nothing to do with appearance and youth

I suspect old guys dating late teens early 20s do it because they're easy to please, the status of showing off to other men.
Hopefully a guy can answer. Do guys really admire a friend or workmate dating a 19 year old and they're 40?

Sure younger guys are attractive but you don't see many 30s 40s women trying to date late teen boys. Ick.

I lightly flirted with a guy online. I thought he was mid 30s. Found out he was only 22 and I felt embarrassed and got the ick. I went into mum mode and wished him well in his studies and closed the chat.

@Trevsadick

I expect that is more to do with the fact men dont want to take on 6 stepchildren than the fact they don't find her attractive IYSWIM.

MondeoFan i was big chested as a teen. I was 14 walking past a building site with my mum. She told me my top was hanging out of my jeans and I went to tuck it in. A builder shouted something like 'I'll tuck it in for her'. I was mortified. I was meeting friends and ended up wearing mums jacket.

Mum was furious. After I left her she went back and climbed into the building site and wanted to know who shouted it. The other builders pointed to one man. He had a wedding ring on, mum gave him a mouthful and pointed out I had just turned 14 and that she might follow him home and tell his wife. She asked if he had a daughter and how would he like it? He said he didn't realise I was so young. Mum pointed out that he shouldnt be doing it anyway but I certainly didn't look like an adult woman.

The foreman threatened to call the police. Mum told them to, the told them my dad was a policeman on duty in the police station half a mile away and he would be happy to attend.

The owner of the building came out and mum told him what happened. She told dad that night and he went up the next day and the owner had sacked the firm and was getting new builders in.

At the time I was mortified and just wanted to forget it. But now I think she was a hero for doing that. Hopefully they all learned their lesson. Its disgusting.

I actually ended up having a breast reduction at 22. I hate having huge breasts. I hate the men that thought it gave them to the right to ask question like 'are they real or try and cop a feel when I was in pubs or clubs. Or the men that talked straight to my boobs. Plenty of them were older men.

A man started rubbing himself on me in a nightclub when I was 18. I Turned round to tell him to fuck off, it was one of my dads police colleagues who was 53. The look on his face suggested he was fully aware he was doing something creepy. But he only stopped because he knew my dad. I had i have been anyone else, he would have though it was fine. Its either fine or its not. If ots not OK, if you know someone's dad, you shouldn't be doing it.

Lol lots for you to learn wolfgirl - about older men and older women

@Cakecup1

It has nothing to do with the patriarchy. It is more of a case of correlation than causation - the idea itself is patriarchal, but so is the fact we have to carry and give birth to the babies.

The root cause isnt chauvinism, it is biology. It cant be changed.

Well in that case I look forward to it. Life is an adventure

Sure Sco... I mean wolf girl

It’s absolutely patriarchy and you’re obviously young and naive but when your a little older you’ll understand

@Trevasdick

Well done to your Mum!
You know what I did actually think about saying something but changed my mind. Firstly they were walking past but facing me and I saw them all staring at her, one of them said something to the others and all 3 of them laughed, but I didn't hear what they said and they might not have even been talking about her so I left it.
Think it's brilliant what your Mum did though. Men like that need to be named and shamed.

We are just talking about instincts here which are vague and imprecise, but nonetheless often powerful. The instinctive part of the male brain isn't directly concerned with female fertility. Just indicators of youthfullness, which indirectly suggests fertility. And what men find attractive can also be affected by society. And whether or not they actually like the woman's personality too.

Since men can presumed to be fertile throughout most of his life, women instinctively judge a man's attractiveness based on a whole host of other factors other than his fertility. But these factors tend to decrease with age too. On average, male attractiveness decreases with age too, at almost the same rate as women.

I expect that is more to do with the fact men dont want to take on 6 stepchildren than the fact they don't find her attractive IYSWIM.

So its not fertility then.

I guess it is a bit like women preferring taller men because it represents strength and masculinity.

If you prefer taller men, is it because you want an ego boost? Are immature and only focus on the visual? Or want to degrade shorter men and make them feel irrelevant?

It is the same principle when you think about it.

@Trevsadick the fertility part is subliminal.

No man looks at a younger attractive woman and thinks, I want 11 kids with her.

I suppose there is also the trophy element of showing off to other males too. Some men who might fancy an older/same age woman or a larger one know that their mates would absolutely rip the piss out of them, so they choose somebody to impress their mates. And as they get older that would be younger women.

Hopefully a guy can answer. Do guys really admire a friend or workmate dating a 19 year old and they're 40?

That's a bit of a weird one because it would depend on the dynamics of the relationship.

Wolfgirl not even close to the same principle . If you read and research the history of the gender , the imbalances of ages and how women were routinely used a chattel throughout history yoh may se ethereal a huge difference between only valuing an entire gender based on their child bearing ability and age and liking the opposite sex for a physical al attribute
Liking a man for his height would be similar to a man preferring women who were shorter or blonder etc .
What we are talking about here is women intelligence , life experience , wisdom and all the other wonderful things that many women seem to see in older men , being totally discounted
Ultimately , there is no reason for older women to feel they are missing out because they are not missing out on quality men but it’s frustrating that we are not valued in the same way men are ... that’s all . I still get looks , plenty of younger men , and older , and I know my worth and see the worth of women my age . It’s just a shame many of our peers can’t because sadly I don’t feel I have a lot in common with men significantly younger or older and I’d love a peer who I shared common ground with , but at the end of the day I do g want a man who thinks a youthful look trumps all other qualities just because I’m a female and youth all that counts in his eyes. You’re welcome to them

For someone who apparently doesnt care, you have a lot of ranting to do

I really think you're trying to twist it into a manmade construct because then there is presumably a way of reversing it.

There isnt.

I'll pop down and ask my fiance what he thinks in a moment, as an older man with a younger woman it might bring some fresh views to the thread.

Mens brains are hardwired to find younger women more physically attractive than older women.

Well Im certainly hard wired to find most 20 yr olds more attractive then the likes of Piers Morgan & Amen Holmes?

Mens brains are hardwired to find younger women more physically attractive than older women

I think men's brains are hard wired to find physically attractive women attractive. Age doesn't come into it.

Well there you go then frazzled!

@etulobsa yes I agree, a very attractive 40 year old would be more appealing than a very ugly 20 year old. But if you were to offer a man the choice of a very attractive 20 something and a very attractive 40 something, most (but not all) would go for the former.

Yes wolfgirl I do have a lot to say about social issues , I guess you assume I should go off an knit lol You don’t sound like a quiet flower yourself , be great if you had some knowledge of gender issues so that we could have an intelligent discussion.
Caring about blatant misogyny and having an understanding of how the world works is completely different to not wanting to be with someone who is a mysogynist. Frankly what your older man had to say doesn’t interest me at all and I’m pretty certain he could t care less what me or any other women here talking about the double standard of aging has to say :)
I think any attempt conversation with you is fruitless to be honest . Enjoy your older man, I don’t envy you or him