Thoughts on men that like younger women

[namechangeagain12]

So I seem to come across a lot of blokes late 20's early 30's who like younger girls, between 19-21. I know we are only talking around 10 years age gap here but I think it's disgusting...

I remember when I was 19 at uni and my flat mate's 29 year old friend was trying to sleep with me - I thought he was weird as hell! I was never a immature 19 year old but still, 19 to me is still VERY young.

Is this totally normal? Am I being unreasonable here for judging a bloke for constantly liking younger girls photos? I appreciate these girls look late 20's but for some reason it freaks me out and puts me right off them.

Not sure what I'm asking here, just after a gentle discussion

I think men's brains are hard wired to find physically attractive women attractive. Age doesn't come into it.

Yep attractive is attractive, I like attractive.

Actually many me. Choose ugly 20yr olds over very attractive 40 yr olds just for bragging rights . Most older men younger women couples I know neither are what you’d call super models and I have two very attractive gfs who’s partners left for you when women. One models and her husband left for a 25 yr old extremely overweight woman

Cakecup you are doing women a disservice by being so angry and petty in my view.

I remember Jilly Cooper (not an expert by any means) saying that if you were a beautiful 40 year old woman, and you went to a party, all the men would gravitate to the plain 20 year old regardless of the beauty of the older woman. I think that is a slight exaggeration but there are elements of truth. What is that phrase, you are only as young as the woman you feel? Gross saying, but it rings true.

If you are a younger woman who has an older fiancé/OH who has a preference for the younger woman - those who girlfriends stay the same age whilst they age themselves - it must be an uncomfortable relationship because as you age you would be moving in their mind to being over the hill. Tempting to think that you were different, but not the case with the serial chasers. It is different to the scenario where a man marries a younger woman and stays married etc, i.e. not a serial chaser of younger women.

Lol wolfgirl your doing women a disservice by being so ignorant of the issues that affect women . One could be forgiven for wondering if you were in fa t a man because yoh actually come across as hating women - which is really sad in my opinion

I can remember being at work in my late teens and colleagues celebrating their 30th and 40ths. I thought they were so old. Now I’m older than them I’m not so sure 😂

it must be an uncomfortable relationship because as you age you would be moving in their mind to being over the hill.

I think this must also be the case in relationships where people cheated to be together. You'll always be watching over your shoulder.

I think this may be the case for some of the relationships, Leonardo di Caprio springs to mind! I would regard a man with a repetitive history of dating much younger women very warily.

@Cakecup1 a man 😂😂 I was accused of being meghan markle on here the other day!

Please explain how the view of men seeing younger woman as more attractive is a patriarchal construct, rather than basic biology?

I think men are Pervy who like younger women that's how I see it. I know a man who was 40 and had a pregnant girfriend and left the girlfriend who was 38 for a girl who was 22. I saw her in a photo and she looked 18 she looked very young. She'd had a baby herself at 16 so had a 6 year old. I'm surprised if he's out with her people don't think she's his daughter as the age difference certainly looks that way. Although he wasn't grey years of doing drugs caused his face to be Haggered.

, I guess you assume I should go off an knit lol You don’t sound like a quiet flower yourself , be great if you had some knowledge of gender issues so that we could have an intelligent discussion.

Why should I be a quiet flower just because I am a woman? That is very sexist and misogynistic.

No wolfgirl I won’t explain again because both myself and many people have explain why we disagree with your view . Your welcome to either read back in the thread , read some books or even go to your local university and pick up some gender studies if you don’t understand but.....
I’ll give you a few water eggs though

• there’s zero evidence it’s biology
• IF biology was answer men would be better off chasing women with proven childbearing ie mothers
• men’s sperm quality decreases RAPIDLY after 40
• many if not most older women have the experience of many younger men chasing them .
• biology argument also suggest that women would be polygomous and sleep with multiple

Men in order to have sperm competition

• biology theory totally ignores the history of women being devalued with age and that men are valued for qualities that women are not valued for ie women’s POSITION on history is learn about it and about how this long history affects us still today

I highly doubt you’ll take any of this on board . Time will be a far better teacher than anything anyone can say

Wolfgirl you seem to have an issue understanding my point about being a quiet flower . I was reposting to your extremely rude and arrogant post about me sure having a lot to rant about ‘ which was in fact a sexist, mysogynistic and agist implication that as an older woman I should shut up

I liked the offer to get the 40 year old man on to explain his thinking That's what's often missing I find - the views of a middle aged man to put us right.

Cakecup you seem absolutely determined to link any behaviour to language you deem unacceptable (or just that doesnt agree with you) to some conspiracy of sexism and misogyny.

Yes mens' sperm decreases in quality, but they can keep reproducing with relative ease (as long as no medical conditions, etc) well past the point that women enter the menopause. There is no definitive end to their fertility in the same way.

I'm confused about your theory of women having multiple partners; this doesnt seen to relate to this particular question, only biology (or as you call it misogyny) in general.

Of course women have younger men chasing them, in the same way a minority of women prefer shorter men, or bald men. There are always outliers and a minority that do not fit the status quo.

As for men chasing women that are already mothers; just taking a guess, but it may be that either a women who has had 3 or 4 kids is likely to be slightly older already iyswim, or that from a primal perspective she would have less time for any further offspring. It's an interesting one, modern day factors may also come into it such as men not wanting to raise other men's children, financial etc.

I was rude for saying you were ranting, when you wrote this:

Frankly what your older man had to say doesn’t interest me at all and I’m pretty certain he could t care less what me or any other women here talking about the double standard of aging has to say. I think any attempt conversation with you is fruitless to be honest . Enjoy your older man, I don’t envy you or him

That is so much ruder and comes across as very bitter.

But if you were to offer a man the choice of a very attractive 20 something and a very attractive 40 something, most (but not all) would go for the former.

It really isn't as simple as that. Obviously, I can't speak for all men but physical attraction is what initially draws you closer. Once there, you might not like what you find, regardless of looks.

Presumably men would be less keen to date mothers because they wouldn't want to help raise another mans children. If from a biological point of view subconsciously both men and women are looking to bring up the healthiest offspring possible this would heavily swap against single mothers.

Thankfully it's 2020 and we have the capability to look beyond our reptilian brain but all this would still be lingering in the background.

Like someone else said I don't see how men having a preference for younger women is different from women having a preference for taller, wealthier men. It's just annoying how men and women aren't in unison because of it i.e. younger women having the stronger hand when younger (more attractive) and men having the stronger hand when older (more established, richer).

I still don't agree with men dating teens though, makes me feel icky.

Yes mens' sperm decreases in quality, but they can keep reproducing with relative ease (as long as no medical conditions, etc) well past the point that women enter the menopause. There is no definitive end to their fertility in the same way.

Just cause they can reproduce doesn't mean they should & they have been lots of studies linking deteriorating sperm quality with certain disorders.

Interestingly when involved with the affairs of extremely successful men through my work when their marriages broke down they almost all remarried women of similar age or only very slightly younger - see Jeff Bezos.

Ok I find Tom Holland incredibly cute. I’m old enough to be his mother!
Does that mean I leer and perv at young men, no.
People banging on about biology have been proved wrong. There is no fundamental/ biological explanation whatsoever ever for a young women to find a much older man attractive.Lets stop talking bollocks.
Some women want an older man because he can provide more material wealth.
Some people just fall in love.
I think most couples are a similar age.
We are not in a Hollywood film set.
Of course there are advantages to a female ( and male for that reason) for coupling up with an incredibly wealthy very old man. However most men are not Ernie Bernstein , think that’s who I mean!

@mstswift well that settles it then, we can close the thread down

I think we are talking more about physical attraction as opposed too marriage.

Like I said I like attractive but I would generally go for the 35 yr old vs the 20 yr old. My life would likely be in a completely different stage to them.

I do know people who have large age gaps & it has worked but I would still judge someone who continually went for 20 yr olds.

Frazzled we weren't talking about whether they 'should' that is a separate matter entirely.

Why is it separate?

Because the question is 'Is it weird for men to find younger women attractive' (in a roundabout way).

Not 'Should older men become fathers'

Except I was responding to your point that men can keep reproducing (I thought the fact I highlighted your point made it clear) so how is that a separate issue?