Thoughts on men that like younger women

[namechangeagain12]

So I seem to come across a lot of blokes late 20's early 30's who like younger girls, between 19-21. I know we are only talking around 10 years age gap here but I think it's disgusting...

I remember when I was 19 at uni and my flat mate's 29 year old friend was trying to sleep with me - I thought he was weird as hell! I was never a immature 19 year old but still, 19 to me is still VERY young.

Is this totally normal? Am I being unreasonable here for judging a bloke for constantly liking younger girls photos? I appreciate these girls look late 20's but for some reason it freaks me out and puts me right off them.

Not sure what I'm asking here, just after a gentle discussion

There are lots of young women who are not considered attractive even the "average" ones during to their race. Maybe the preference to youth is a cultural/social one?

The only man (31) I know who pursued a teenage girlfriend (19) has cheated on her after several years together. She's forgiven him. He's my friend but I do wonder if that's one of the benefits of dating a young woman, they are less likely to have firm boundaries.
Older women dating young men is simply not comparable. Our reproductive systems, and society, dictate an intrinsic power differential.
I also find the 'can vote' argument discomforting as it's being increasing used by paedophiles to argue for a lower voting age (thereby opening the door for 'but if they can vote...').

I thought it may have been in part bitterness because looking back I was bitter about it. Quite frankly being newly single after a long relationship in my early thirties and finding I had gone from being desirably by most men to practically invisible by men my own age really hurt and it took a good couple of years to come to terms with. I'm not saying that is the case for you, I was just throwing it out there.

@Cakecup1 you may be the exception or my friends and I may be the exception but for whatever reason I'd always be more attracted to a man who is a doctor than one who is a care worker for instance. I haven't found this to be the case with my male friends. Should my male friends who aren't as successful in their careers be justified in feeling annoyed by this? If not, why not? I'm not sure it is any different really than me being annoyed they like younger women. Also just to be clear I like younger guys too - late 20s I generally find the most physically attractive

I don't think we can say because Joe Bloggs decided to partner up with someone his own age that is necessarily his preference. I think there is a reason why very successful men who are in demand tend to partner up with women who are younger than them. The same way very beautiful women who are in demand tend to partner up with men who are very successful.

This is just how I feel - maybe I'm wrong. I'm not deliberately being antagonistic. Thankfully when you're in love most of this stuff goes out the window anyway. I just need to find someone who is good looking and rich to fall in love with

Can’t disagree with you more scott72 . Mothers are a sure bet in your argument of fertility equals attractiveness yet your saying it’s youth rather than proven fertility that makes women attractive Your biological arguments also neglect t to address men’s decreasing fertility and risk of problem sperm
Your basically arguing for an atheist that’s been long ago proven flawed . It’s well accepted that the gender I’m Imbalances that exist are a result of centuries of men holding power and sexism and flawed arguments such as you are providing only help perpetuate those cycles
The whole women get so much attention when they are young is a line long used by the women hating ‘Mgtow’ movement to justify the hate put on older women . Unfortunately women even us ‘ older women continue to get much attention. From men all our lives . The problem being that it’s usually not from our peers once they see us as past it which can be as young as 30

I think there is a reason why very successful men who are in demand tend to partner up with women who are younger than them. The same way very beautiful women who are in demand tend to partner up with men who are very successful

Thata to do with how society sees women and men. Not biology.

Even today, women who are attractive are seen as the better women. Men who are financially successful are seen as the better men.

When you look at what society expect of men and women, even in 2020. Ita different standards.

@Scott72

You're arguing against biology there Cakecup. In employment and other areas we should work to dismantle age discrimination. But in romantic attraction, we have to accept there is a preference for younger people.

Yes women's physical attractiveness to the opposite sex does tend to drop off faster than men's with age. That's derived from the biological reality that women's fertility decreases faster then men's.

On the other hand the romantic attention young women attract can be very high. Even an average looking young woman will often attract far more attention than a good looking young man. Although unfortunately a lot of this attention is often unwanted.

You also mention that women’s attractiveness to the opposite sexy drops off faster than men’s with age . I highly doubt this is true . As a 50 yr old woman I get one t of approaches from younger men and I know plenty of older women saying the same What does seem to happen is we are DEVALUED . Something that has happened to women Throughout history and is a social construct . Men on the other hand are told they increase in value because their value extends in their ‘ character , their life experience , their wisdom . Women are judged solely in youth and fertility So whilst I’ll agree things change in how men see women I disagree hugely with the resins why I also disagree that things can’t change and I believe slowly they are .

I am mid 50s, slim, wear stylish clothes, have good hair, minimal wrinkles. At first glance I look in late 30s, but if you were to really look at me you could see I was 50 plus. (I am not a Liz McDonald character, I am low-key, just look youngish from a distance!).

I have just been to a supermarket, and there was a man in there eyeing me up. I could see him from the corner of my eye. He was 60 plus, plumpish, balding. I looked at him (not to flirt) and he looked back, and then realised I was not the late 30s woman he thought I was and quickly looked away and scuttled off.

Men don't want women the same age as themselves, they think they deserve women who are 20 years younger than they are. Which would explain why I get the chat from men in their mid 70s.

I have a thick skin and not at all bothered that men my age do not find me attractive. I don't find them attractive either. In fact, I don't find most people attractive anymore, which is liberating. I am married, but if we split up etc, I would not want to get into a relationship with anybody else, could not be arsed. If you get to my age and still crave male attention there is something wrong somewhere, simply because the pedestal you may have put men on in the past is simply not there anymore.

@Trevsadick I don't think it's just attractive women who are seen as better women it's attractive people in general that are seen as better than less attractive people. The halo effect is very real and we're mainly subconscious of it.

@Sarcelle I agree

What does seem to happen is we are DEVALUED . Something that has happened to women Throughout history and is a social construct . Men on the other hand are told they increase in value because their value extends in their ‘ character , their life experience , their wisdom . Women are judged solely in youth and fertility

Agreed, sadly for some of the most successful, kind, intelligent women, their ‘value’ will mostly be defined by their youth/ physical appearance alone by some men.

I don't think it's just attractive women who are seen as better women it's attractive people in general that are seen as better than less attractive people. The halo effect is very real and we're mainly subconscious of it

I disagree. An attractive man with no job, no money, no assets nothing are not viewed in the same way as an attractive women in the same situation.

A not so physically attractive man with a great job, money, stability is viewed far better than a woman in the same situation.

I don’t find such men attractive. There are plenty who like women their own age group.
I find that men who like younger women are usually not the mature type, a highly unattractive quality in a man (or woman!) of 30+.

@LisaSimpsonsbff

I don't think it's 'disgusting' but I do always think it's a bit ironic when women insist that they like older men 'because they're more mature' as there really isn't much that's less mature than a man in his 30s/40s who likes teenagers.

Yes, exactly.

It's a very handy filter on some sites - accepted age groups. If, for example, a man age 45 sets it as 25-40, that says a lot, equally 25-45, both a bit tragic. I look for the ones who go for similar to their own age plus or minus about 10 years or so as long as it's equal on each side of their age range

I liked that they had a job and didn't live with their parents

This type of men goes well with this type of women: the ones who set the bar this low.

@Trevsadick yes I agree with you.

I would also add however that if a man was good looking he will more likely have a greater social circle, more confidence which would likely lead to being able to get a job. He is also more like to be promoted etc just because he is better looking than his colleagues.

Like @GingerBeverage the only age gap relationship I know of (and it's around a 25 year gap) has been one where he's cheated on her pretty constantly, lied and bolted several times. She always takes him back - in fact he says she will always take him back and he knows she'll never leave him.

The lack of boundaries and ability to control her is a key factor for him I think.

I don't think all men want a younger gf. I don't have a problem getting a man my age or just a bit younger. Not all men are actually interested in a 19 year old. I also wouldn't be interested in a 19 year old man because I want someone with a similar frame of reference to me. Nor am I interested in someone 10 years older than me.

I would be concerned if my dd aged 19 came home with a much older bf. Mostly because she is still so young and I really don't know (beyond the obvious) what a 30 year old would see in her. When she's 30 a 10 year age gap would be less of an issue. As it is, she prefers boys/men her own age.

Younger women are nearly always better looking than older women. Older men are nearly always more accomplished and financially secure than younger men.
Straight out of the 18th century, that comment is.

Yes, the dating pool is technically smaller by your 40s and 50s but only because those leery inadequates have self selected themselves out.
That’s an excellent point.

I think we all known those blokes who get older, but their girlfriends remain the same age. All in their 20s, fine. Then as we get to out 30s, they have agirlfriend in her twenties. Now we are all in our forties - he still has a girlfriend in her 20s - and so it goes on. I think most people see these blokes as a bit sad, but it is their life.

I would also add however that if a man was good looking he will more likely have a greater social circle, more confidence which would likely lead to being able to get a job. He is also more like to be promoted etc just because he is better looking than his colleagues.

I think being more attractive can help. But I know several multi millionaires. They have accumulated their wealth, mainly from from their own business which they have sold or working up the corporate ladder is huge companies. I cant think of one of them that I think are particularly good looking. Even when you look at photos of them when they are younger. Yet one of them, 53 overweight, not attractive in looks or personality, was having an affair with an extremely attractive senior manager in her 20s, that he employed.

He is hugely admired in the business world, works with the government and HSE executive and always has women chatting him up. His lack of conventional, good looks dont hold him back in anyway.

Being good looking or not considered good looking, impacts men far less than women. In the world place and in social circles.

YADBU. I met my now husband when I was 18 and he was 27. We have been together 11 years now and married for 4. I hardly ever even think of the age difference and now does anyone else I know

I find this a tricky subject, I am 37 DH is 46 we have been together 20 years and married 19 years. We have been nothing but happy, he was not my first relationship.

That said neither of us would be hugely impressed if DD did the same as me or equally DS did the same as him.

I don't know if times have changed or we just ignored people but I don't remember anyone including our parents having a problem with our relationship at any stage

All I'm saying is that (straight) men find young women more sexually attractive than older women, on average. This is innate, not due to social programming. That most older resist chasing much younger women is due to social conditioning and their own reason. What women find innately attractive in men is a little more complicated. But youth does play a big part.

@Experimenopause and it still true today.

@duckfinger seems slightly hypocritical

Are people still spouting "scientific" bollocks without anything credible to back up their claims?