Thoughts on men that like younger women

[namechangeagain12]

So I seem to come across a lot of blokes late 20's early 30's who like younger girls, between 19-21. I know we are only talking around 10 years age gap here but I think it's disgusting...

I remember when I was 19 at uni and my flat mate's 29 year old friend was trying to sleep with me - I thought he was weird as hell! I was never a immature 19 year old but still, 19 to me is still VERY young.

Is this totally normal? Am I being unreasonable here for judging a bloke for constantly liking younger girls photos? I appreciate these girls look late 20's but for some reason it freaks me out and puts me right off them.

Not sure what I'm asking here, just after a gentle discussion

Because 'can' and 'should' are separate debates.

We were discussing biology not ethics.

Interestingly when involved with the affairs of extremely successful men through my work when their marriages broke down they almost all remarried women of similar age or only very slightly younger - see Jeff Bezos.

Agree, the old rich man with younger wife is a bit of an outdated trope.

DH works for a top tier law firm & the vast majority of couples are similar in age & often success, particularly when its a 2nd marriage. I think it's considered a status symbol to have both partners in a relationship be very successful, the youngsters I know what to be "power couples" 🤮🤣

I completely disagree @Wolfgirrl, obviously hit a nerve!

I think they just like the physicality - I mean media, TV, models mostly show women who are 16-25 as the gorgeous ones. Models are considered old at 24.

It's gross but that's the patriarchy

Frazzled that's fine, your prerogative!

The power couple thing is an increasing phenomenon, as women expand their horizons. A really simple example is the old cliche of the doctor/nurse, now much more likely to be doctor/doctor. And less age gap 1950s style relationships, more relationships of equals. Still a few saddoes around though who need the ego boost of the younger, more impressionable woman. As per 'he has his own house' 'he picks me up in his car'

Exactly Nohard MiL used to suggest that the solicitors would marry their secretaries that rarely happens now anecdotally solicitors marry other solicitors of a similar age.

Wolf girl you obviously have some issue with this as you get very angry - why would my posting about my own experience seek to “close the thread down” weird. Stand by my view that the Leonardos of this world that date a succession of teens whilst they are my age creepy and not changing my mind on that one! God I am his age cannot imagine what I would have in common with a 20 year old would get dull fast - for both of us I would imagine!

I think its explained well several times, why its more to do with social constructs and than biology. As the research also suggests. Its to do with what women are prized for in society.

@wolfgirrl no one needs to hear what you your mature partner thinks. This is a discussion about or experiences and opinions.

The 'I'll go ask my boyfriend what his opinion is' suggests you defer to him salot and think other posters should have too.

Angry 😂 why?

Well maybe you're just a dull person Ms T.

@Trevsadick

Not at all. The thread is asking about men finding younger women attractive. He found me attractive. I thought it would be interesting to hear it from the horse's mouth rather than just all gathering to foam at the mouth how unfair life is.

Deferring to him 😂😂 if he heard that we would both laugh

Got a love MN, someone will have a long personal sweary rant at another poster, when asked why they're so angry they're like 😳 'No YOU'RE angry' 😂😂 childish

If its to do with feetility and subconscious attraction to fertility, he isn't going to be able to explain that, is he?

Because its subconscious. And is a man likely to say 'oh its because you are more likely to have superior quality eggs compared to a woman of my age

Fuck that, if a man only wanted me because of the quality of my eggs, I wouldn't impressed at all.

His response is likely to be 'we just click' or something that most people will say.

He isnt going to very well turn round and say 'I suppose that in society, showing I can catch a younger woman, gives me some staus amongst my peers, because of societys view of what women are worth'

Even men who full well know they are looking for a woman to give them status, don't say it outright.

Also, who said life is unfair?

Whats unfair about this? Some Men fancying younger women, isnt unfair to older women. You make it sound like a competition between women or that the men are some sort of prize allocated.

Its no more unfair than a man not fancying me because I have a big behind. Or fancying me because I do and not fancying my friend because she doesn't.

It appears you believe you think women older than you feel they are missing out on something.

The thread is about what people think of men who date women who are younger than they are. I doubt anyone else on here is interested in the opinion of some sad letch/completely normal man (take your pick of opinions) as we tend to grow out of a love of mansplaining. It isn't a good look for anyone - the woman handmaidening or the man explaining.

I’ve always found it really, really grim.

From the age of 17, and a very innocent very tiny 17 at that I was stalked by a man of 30 years old. I lost count of the amount of people who indicated that because I was over 16 I was fair game. At university, I was targeted by two lecturers in their mid-40s who routinely brought sex up to me, indicted they wanted a relationship with me, attempted to blackmail and coerce me into starting a relationship, one even came into a female changing room and pressed his body against me with me unable to escape. I had no witnesses.

I only ever saw all three of them as fat, balding, controlling, perverted creeps. Why would I want to sleep with a middle aged man and be his little “sex doll” when I could have had a healthy, sweet relationship with a lovely looking boy or young man my own age and we could have grown together through a relationship with similar points of reference etc? It honestly turns my stomach to think of it.

By the time I turned 29 I was genuinely getting approached by men not just old enough to be my father, but my grandfather. What an Earth a 70 + year thinks they’d have to bring to a relationship with me, God only knows.

Then there’s my friends’ actual Dads who regularly make pervy comments at every opportunity (“You’ve put on weight but in all the right places love” was a recent example) or who try Whatsapping me etc. Just sick and they have no shame.

I don’t see why so many people are quick to defend it.

I agree with another poster. I don’t always buy that men get better with age. I know lots of really interesting, intelligent, attractive, sexy, independent older women. I think older men are crazy not to want to be with them and instead go for women young enough to be their daughter or worse.

I’m really blunt now with them after years of being polite and say “No, I’m not interested. The idea of being in a relationship with a man old enough to be my father makes me feel sick. Maybe you should try women your own age.”

I genuinely don’t care if it upsets them. It upset me from being 15 being approached by 30+ year olds. I was a mere ten years old when a group of adult men first ogled over me and made lewd comments in front of my parents.

It really can't be stressed enough that I personally feel greatly blessed to no longer have to deal with the attentions of those rather sad/pervy 'older' men (now they are the same age bracket as me of course). Please don't think that is any loss to me!

Lordy, this thread really is full of bitter women

You're just playing into the male stereotype that older women are jealous and spiteful.

You're not even making points, you're just using this thread as a chance to write venomous posts about a fact of life you find unfair and doesnt advantage you.

If you were all as happy as you claim, you wouldn't have these enormous chips on your shoulders.

Live and let live guys ✌

Oh dear oh dear
The great thing about age is that you stop giving a fuck whether you fit into some 'male stereotype' or not. Who cares what some (imaginary) man policing our behaviour/thought thinks?

Although actually I don't know if that does come with age. I was never very handmaideny.

You're the one policing behaviour here @nohardsell 😂😂 the irony is all of your posts above reinforce the patriarchy, not challenge it

@Wolfgirrl I think you're the one coming across as defensive & with a chip on your shoulder.

As a 20 yr old I wouldn't have settled down with anyone let a 50 yr old, I wanted to have kids when dh & I were in our 30s. I wanted to be married with a career before dc. I don't want 5 kids, etc, etc.
These are my choices & people can make different ones as this is what was right for me.
I'm confident & comfortable with my choices, you should be too.

I'd hazard a guess that no man has ever considered the quality of a woman's eggs when asking her out... even subconsciously.

Frazzled no YOU are