Realising I prefer life in lockdown

[whatisheupto]

I'm wondering if I have some sort of problem. I have felt a huge sense of relief during lockdown... no pressure, no visitors, ability to just please myself (and DH and DC). I mean no disrespect to those who have found the last 10 weeks incredibly hard and stressful for all sorts of reasons.
Since Boris's announcement today, family are immediately messaging with plans to meet up. I suddenly realised I feel a sense of dread, which I feel awful about. They can be pretty annoying and I suppose the past couple of years they have been extra annoying, but they're not awful, compared to the stuff I read on here! I just can't really be bothered with seeing them, but I can't really believe I am saying that out loud. Why aren't I excited, like them and the rest of the country?!

I’m kind of the same, OP.

Complete introvert, so happy to not have to meet people. I miss my family, but kind of glad that they’re in a little protective bubble and I worry about what’ll happen them as restrictions lift.

Though I think my view is from the very privileged position of having a secure job and being able to WFH on full pay. If I had lost my job or been furloughed, or was working and juggling childcare, I think I’d feel very, very differently.

Nope Im exactly the same. A lot of people have said the same. Theres been an equalisation of society for one thing and the usual pressure and hassle has been removed.

The populations mental health is in such a state the last few years because we arnt meant to live in this awful capitalist rat race.

Imagine being me and getting no messages from any family wanting to meet up. At least people want to see you. I’ve got an extremely lonely life.

I feel I could have written this.
Don't get me wrong, I have been going to work 3 days a week as I work as a nurse, but the days I'm off I have loved every second not making plans, not having to go on nights out. It's made me realise the simple things in life like going for a nice walk/cooking etc.
I have very much missed my family, but lucky I have my husband.
I would feel very differently if I lived alone, or didn't have my job to go to 3 days a week to keep a sense of 'normality'
Xx

I have felt exactly the same, I think something must be wrong with me. It’s like I spend my whole life looking for the next thing to worry about, and now we have no plans it’s like the stress has been taken out of my life. I like being ‘on hold’ from the stresses of normal life.

I’m exactly the same OP. Pre lockdown we would have gone to my parents’ for Sunday dinner once or twice a month and whilst it was nice to see them I’m never relaxed there and always feel obliged to go. My mum texted yesterday inviting us to come on Sunday for a picnic (we’ll bring our own food) and immediately I felt the same feelings of pressure that I haven’t felt for 2 months. I know life has to get back to normal but I really have enjoyed this pressure free existence for the past 2 months. It has done my mental health the world of good. I’ve been sleeping so well and just enjoying every single day. DCs have too. We don’t want to go back to normal.

Sorry @needahandhold, I know I'd feel the same as you if suddenly there just wasn't anyone wanting to see me. I hope things change for you.

It's nice to know others feel the same.I am wondering if it's just that I must be extremely lazy! But I think the freedom it has given me (to not have to deal with anyone else and their issues) is what has been so amazing.

I feel exactly the same. I love my family and friends and would have considered myself an extrovert, but it turns out 1 day a week at work and then me and my dcs just hanging out together suits me perfectly!

@MrsofBebbanburg, oh god NO! Now you have to shop and plan a picnic, and make it, and answer all the annoying questions from your DM!!
Yes I have been sleeping brilliantly too.

Same, needahandhold I have no family and no friends. I haven’t really spoken to anyone at all during this time. People don’t realise how lucky they are. Should appreciate it.

Lucky or not it doesn’t mean people should feel shit for feeling how they do

@needhandhold I hope also that things look better for you soon.

Completely know where you are coming from OP. I have been working 3 days a week but absolutely loving having nowhere to go or anything to do on my days off. We spend so much each month paying for our house and it's so nice to actually enjoy our home! Don't get me wrong I really miss my family and friends, but normally my life is filled with plans where I have felt "obliged" to go somewhere or so something. I'm determined to make some changes and definitely won't be rushing back to some things.

oh god NO! Now you have to shop and plan a picnic, and make it, and answer all the annoying questions from your DM!!

Thankfully DC and I have been having lots of picnics in our own garden so we’ve got lots in and there’s only the 3 of us so not much to throw together a picnic for us. Yes it’s all the questioning and unsolicited “advice” that comes with the visit. And of course there’ll be loads because she’s had 2 months to let it all build up!

I feel exactly the same too!

I live in an area where there have been a lot of deaths and colleagues have died. I also know several people who are really suffering mentally and financially so know I am very fortunate and many people haven't had my experience. I know how lucky I am.

Nevertheless this has been one of the happiest periods of my adult life. I've been very productive WFH as well as making progress with my studies. I've had lots of time in the garden, have been cooking slowly and thoughtfully and have taken up painting. I have also had time to spend with my teens for the first time in years without the constant stresses and activity of 'normal' life. Not only that but I have been able to socialise a lot with zoom chats and socially distant walks. It's actually ideal for me. Already feeling anxious about having to go back to the constant activity, commuting, time wasting stresses.

I can relate to this and the lack of social pressure is really liberating.

Yep same here! I liked lockdown :/ just felt sad / bad for LO

I wonder how long it would take until I felt I desperately wanted to see family again?! Maybe a year?! They are quite controlling and overbearing in ways.
I have a family member who avoids contact. I'm thinking I may have inherited their traits!
I acknowledge that having DC and a DH allows me the luxury of not 'needing' more.

So I would've previously said I was an extrovert (mostly!) as I'm happy being completely alone sometimes too.
I haven't been out of the house apart from once in almost 12 weeks now and I'm really not bothered by it.

Counting my blessings that I've been unaffected by the virus, I'm furloughed from my work which at times is unpleasant and toxic so I'm enjoying the time off.
My kids are the only family I have and they live with me so not much has changed for me regarding being separated from people.

@whatisheupto - I feel the same, word for word ... except I have no parents, and I think my siblings feel the same too, so less pressure. But it has also made me start re-thinking one or two relationships now that a sense of obligation has been removed by lockdown.

I know how you feel. I don't my think I realised how pressured I felt juggling kids clubs every night of the week and how overbearing my DP's are. I've enjoyed working in a job I love at my own pace, without having an eye constantly on the clock because of clubs and fitting my commute in and having weekend time without visiting the parents and in laws and listening to how their friends children are letting then down (these stories are told as a prompt to how I'm letting them down). I feel really ungrateful, but I've enjoyed the rest.

It's made me realise for my own health and wellbeing I need to set up some boundaries in the future.

Within minutes of Boris Johnson's announcement this afternoon someone messaged to invite me to a small gathering in her garden. No! That means putting on make up and proper shoes and going out of the house just to eat crisps and drink and make conversation to random people.

I only want to go for walks or chat on zoom. That's it!

Yep I feel exactly the same. Always thought I would hate working from home, and the first few weeks were v tense and stressful but now I’m in a routine.

Work early then break for nice long walk with dd16 (who you to this week couldn’t see any of her friends so she was stick with me 😂) but we’ve had lovely walks and chats every day.

Whilst she was gutted about now gcse exams she will actually admit right now that she’s glad she didn’t have to take them. All that stress that was going to hit our house from April onwards for a few months is long gone.

Now I’m not rushing around every morning I feel so much healthier, not stressed and exhausted like I used to be at the end of every day.

Don’t get me wrong it’s not perfect, hard to shut off from work sometimes as the laptop is always there but I’m dreading having to go back to how my life was beforehand and I’m going to try very hard to not let that happen.

Same here - can't understand people who are suddenly running outside for "social distancing picnics" at every opportunity

Although we relocated about an hour from friends and family a year ago, and I was working from home a few days a week anyway. So I guess I was used to being a bit isolated. It's just nice not having the pressure to make the trip back home every other weekend for some engagement or other