Realising I prefer life in lockdown

[whatisheupto]

I'm wondering if I have some sort of problem. I have felt a huge sense of relief during lockdown... no pressure, no visitors, ability to just please myself (and DH and DC). I mean no disrespect to those who have found the last 10 weeks incredibly hard and stressful for all sorts of reasons.
Since Boris's announcement today, family are immediately messaging with plans to meet up. I suddenly realised I feel a sense of dread, which I feel awful about. They can be pretty annoying and I suppose the past couple of years they have been extra annoying, but they're not awful, compared to the stuff I read on here! I just can't really be bothered with seeing them, but I can't really believe I am saying that out loud. Why aren't I excited, like them and the rest of the country?!

I like it too. I miss my mum but chat daily on the phone and see her once a week when she collects her shopping (I shop online for both of us so only one delivery and she doesn't want enough to get her own) a we have a ten minute chat across the drive and she gets to see dc in person. I miss time to myself with the dc not being at school but I'm liking having them around mostly. I don't really have friends so rarely go out or meet up with anyone and when I do I'm usually thinking of ways to get out of it. I don't like people, don't understand them, and like my own company and this virus and lockdown has highlighted that even more.
I appreciate that many others have lost loved ones, jobs, security and are experiencing great anxiety about their future though. I feel lucky to be one of the ones that is able to shield with no massive sacrifice to my work or social life. I'm a SAHM on UC retraining to be a TA. It gives me choices that others do not have and I'm grateful for that.

I have to ask to all of those who love it, the majority on this thread, do you all have lovely houses and gardens, etc? i.e. the idyllic middle class lifestyle?

Do you worry about your and your dp/dh's jobs with all this going and the possibility that the economy could tank and you'd lose your houses in the next couple of years?

People with comfortable homes and lives who don't have to work is what it's sounding like. All this joy at not having to see anybody. I wonder if their DCs feel the same?

It's a bit insensitive to anyone struggling and/or have lost family or friends, or are lonely during this 'lovely lockdown' but this is MN so I suppose that wouldn't be given too much thought.

I bet many do, Joan, but many don't. Those that are balancing in the middle could be tilted againat it by living in cramped homes with no outside space. While it certainly makes it a lot more attractive, many people are happiest as home bodies, regardless.

Deedee everything in this forum is insensitive to someone else.
It's a truism that there is always someone else who is praying for your problems.

It's ok to be happy sometimes with the way the cards have fallen. It's only been a couple of months.

I can relate OP. I've felt a sense a relief about not having to go out or see anyone. I get anxious about answering the door to the supermarket delivery driver normally so I've felt calmer about not having to see anyone face to face and not getting worked up about preparing to go out or getting flustered engaging in small talk with people. I know that's all on me and the anxiety is a problem that needs getting under control but aside from how terrible what's been happening is, it's been a bit of a break from the anxiety I feel in normal life

I like life in lockdown too. Quieter....I liked less traffic, less pollution. I liked the way society was equalised. I liked not meeting people.

And no, I don't have it easy in the sense that I live alone, I have a flat (no garden although I do live in the countryside) and yes, I have lost a relative and a previous work colleague to COVID.
But then I'm not juggling the demands of having a family at home, which must be much harder.

Lockdown was relaxed last weekend here, so we were of course invited to SIL'S. Which is lovely, we duly went. But I wasn't bothered about going, and was glad to get home. She had people around all weekend, like a bloody rota of people!

LOVE staying home. It's not boring, it's peaceful!

I’ve missed my parents but I’ve really enjoyed getting to know my family all over again and realising that they’re pretty fantastic.

I'm loving the peace & quiet, I'm autistic & the lockdown has removed the pressure to conform to normal social expectations. I've been able to do everything I need to online without having to struggle to go out, I'm physically disabled as well as having autism, so it helps me to know how much I can do without having to go out.

"I liked the way society was equalised."

^Will people stop bloody saying this! Lockdown hasn't equalised anyone! It's polarised people's lives if anything.

I'm an introvert and would have dearly loved a lockdown where we were being left alone. However we live near family & friends so we've had plenty of people knocking on our door and peering through our windows to say 'Hi'. Plus my eldest DC keeps on Facetiming In Laws whilst I've literally looked like I've just got out of bed. 🙈

Kind of the same too, OP. My anxiety levels have never been so low. I am much calmer.

I’m utterly baffled by those who think society has been equalised! You really are living in a bubble of privilege if you think that. The poorest and most vulnerable have been hit very hard by this while those of us with money and gardens and safe jobs have had all the benefits..

I’ve hated it and can’t wait for normal again but if any of my friends haven’t missed me and feel obligated to meet up then I really hope they don’t bother. I can’t be doing with friendships like that.

As for my sleep - the posting time will tell you that’s crap. As is my mental health right now. But then my mum is in a care home and who knows when I’ll get to visit her again?

Since lockdown I have removed one toxic person from my life and drastically cut down on two others who are negative and draining. It is bliss without them in my lives sapping the living daylights out of me.

It has made me reflect and make really positive decisions. I have enjoyed the slower pace of life and the weather has largely been glorious.

Apart from concerns about ds's education and future as he is year 10 and v lazy ref schoolwork and apart from my earnings being temporarily far less as I run a part time business lockdown has been an unusual and unique experience. No disrespect to those suffering with the virus or who have loved ones or friends affected by it.

I like it for the most part. I find I'm accomplishing a lot.

I plan to cut back on things I really don't want to do but feel obligated to do.

@joan04 I live in a rented small 2 bed flat, my partner has no work coming in and we were already living hand to mouth, however I suffer from GAD and have been living this for the last 5 years now. For me I would be happy for it to continue, but my son is a social butterfly and missing his friends, family and school and video chat is no longer cutting it anymore.

I also don't think we are all on the same footing, I know full well, that if my partner can't go back to work in the next few weeks, we are at risk of not being able to pay basic bills. We are lucky to have survived the 10 weeks as it is.

You're not alone, whatissheupto. Lockdown suits me fine too. It is going to gradually ease, won't happen all at once and we will adjust but it has been goo to have this time - for us who like it, obviously not 'good' overall.

I’m utterly baffled by those who think society has been equalised!

The naivety on this thread is shocking. Do you not see the queues of people outside the churches that are handing out food or at the food banks? I live in an affluent town and so many people are struggling, my parents are in an exceptionally affluent village where their neighbour is running a community larder which is deluged with requests.

People who have no income and may not have any for many months don’t sleep well, Employers sitting up all night trying to work out how to avoid making staff redundant.

Children suffering mental health issues , witnessing domestic violence and abuse. Schools run ragged trying to manage the pastoral issues they are being called with everyday

Children who have no internet access or families of 6 sharing / devices who have missed out on schooling, for some that will have a life long impact.

This has widened social inequality and the impact hasn’t even really started to hit yet.

For me, it's been a double-edged sword. I'm not one for going out in the evenings anyway, and the removal of pressure has been great. I'm an introvert too.

But my housing and financial situations are challenging. I'm self-employed normally, but work has gone during lockdown; so I had to apply for Universal Credit. I've been applying for fruit picking work, but the farms have all been inundated they say. My worries about the future have caused a dark cloud to descend on the happier aspects of lockdown, especially the last fortnight or so. I loved lockdown more at first.

But to be honest, if I was a homeowner, rather than a renter, and I didn't have the worries I do, then I'd have absolutely loved it I think. So I do understand.

I also understand those who've hated it, and in between. So many different experiences we've had.

I also look forward to using public transport freely again, and yes, seeing friends again will be great.

Maybe we can all use this time we've had to see what things we want in our lives in the future? Not that our wants are always all that easy to achieve. But, I plan to take baby steps towards some things lockdown has highlighted for me.

I wonder though, if it'll all seem like a distant dream in a few months time?

Anyway, whether for each for you, it's been great, good, in between or terrible, I wish you all a happy emergence from lockdown, whatever it looks like... Or non-emergence, if you'd rather not!

My DH feels the same. He’s loved wfh as it’s allowed him to spend so much time with our DC. He’s also loved there not being loads of cars on the road and the peace and quiet! I’ve been the opposite but mainly cos I’m pregnant so find I can only do my work during working hours and can’t stay up late as too knackered so that’s hard with DC here too

Going to the Winchester: "Do you not see the queues of people outside the churches that are handing out food or at the food banks?"
...
I haven't and neither have many of us because we just don't go out. I haven't been out of the house for months. However, that doesn't mean those of us in complete lockdown are insensitive to the problems of others. We can still help, albeit remotely. I've been amazed at exactly how much I have been able to help (don't want to go into details).

It would be naive to think the current situation equalises society but it may lay foundations for society being fairer and far more kind when it is all over. That is my hope. Yet I realise that when things are over, people tend to forget a lot of it fairly quickly.

I’m not very social at the best of times but no, I’ve hated it, been like a caged tiger. Not only that, DH works away usually for days at a time. Now he’s here 24/7 in my space and I want to scream.

You are definitely not alone. I have 3 adult children and they feel the same, as do I. We get on really well when we meet. We are not constantly on the phone or texting each other. We can go for weeks without contact.

When this first started, we all said, ‘well we don’t have any friends or socialise anyway, so,we might not notice much difference’. It turned out to be true. Each of us have actually enjoyed the lockdown. I think we are very similar personalities to each other. I wonder if we will see even
Less of each other now. It is like we have permission to be our own self, if that makes sense.

I am a nurse in nhs so mostly not very much has changed for me in terms of having to go out to go to work. I have to say that on my days off, I have really enjoyed not having the pressure to go and visit people or go and do 'something' just because it's my day off. I've enjoyed just pottering about the house.