Realising I prefer life in lockdown

[whatisheupto]

I'm wondering if I have some sort of problem. I have felt a huge sense of relief during lockdown... no pressure, no visitors, ability to just please myself (and DH and DC). I mean no disrespect to those who have found the last 10 weeks incredibly hard and stressful for all sorts of reasons.
Since Boris's announcement today, family are immediately messaging with plans to meet up. I suddenly realised I feel a sense of dread, which I feel awful about. They can be pretty annoying and I suppose the past couple of years they have been extra annoying, but they're not awful, compared to the stuff I read on here! I just can't really be bothered with seeing them, but I can't really believe I am saying that out loud. Why aren't I excited, like them and the rest of the country?!

Yep!

This thread is for people who ENJOY their own space without others intruding. Of course there are people who are lonely and have nobody. There are threads for them. Let us introverts please just have a chance to discuss how we feel without doom mongers putting their downer on us and currying sympathy.

It's interesting how some people have enjoyed having their own space. I love having my own space and it's something I usually have. However during lockdown I've had no space as DH is always here! I'd love an evening where I have the house completely to myself.

On an earlier post I said that I hate the lockdown as I'm so anxious about money and my future. However if I focus on the positives -

• my garden looks better than ever
• I've got fitter and lost a stone
• I've eaten more healthily
• I've read a lot of books I haven't had time to read.

We have been very fortunate with the weather over recent weeks. I suspect many people might feel differently if the weather had been terrible.

Its interesting that there has been a lot of talk about the need to support the mental health of people who are struggling through the pandemic - and right to highlight it - but I have not seen anything to record how many people have found that this has helped their mental health.

I think there is a huge proportion of people who are now finding life less stressful and needed this break from everyday life. I am hoping my very good employers will see this too. There are certainly signs that they are listening to their staff and will allow more flexibility to work from home in the future .

It goes without saying that I also know that many people have struggled badly through this but I would love to see someone researching the perceived "benefits" too.

Now they’re able to be back in control of their own lives and realise what they actually want.

Millions of people are not in control of anything, they are waiting on tenterhooks to see if they have a job, if their UC credit claim will be accepted, if they will have any money this week.

These people have not taken back their lives- their lives have been utterly destroyed with little hope of redemption in the near future.

For millions of low paid key workers they have had to continue a minimum age job with no childcare/school access-many working much longer hours than they did before. Many low paid workers rely on family childcare which has not been available or work anti-social shifts.

At the end of the day lots of low paid workers cant order online from Doves Farm or the local deli- they have to queue for 2 hours to get basic food.- after working a long week without adequate public transport to get there. They don't have access to credit cards and live week to week.

I'm drinking too much. That's my big worry about lockdown. Half a bottle of wine is becoming a habit. I need to knock it on the head.

AllZoomedOut not sure this thread is about those people?

I've enjoyed it too . Much less stressful and faster commute and in a bizarre way work calmer as more staff on duty . Less humans around .

I remember a friend saying to me just before lockdown that pandemics were good for mental health as they focussed minds on whats important to you, which I understand now. Just need to work out what it is that I am enjoying!

I'm loving it but I'm well aware it's because I live a life of extremities. I have a very stressful job and very long commute - which has resulted in a very nice country house with all the amenities that go with it. My job is safe and so I can actually enjoy my house and grounds particularly with this weather and no commute. If I lived in a flat or my job was at risk I'm not sure I would feel the same way.

Oh yes, me too!

I am introvert central though. Very happy to be at home doing my own thing and not rushing around/having loads of plans.

I thought I was an extrovert but I've realised I'm an introvert.

I have been enjoying it too. It’s been stressful at time’s because DH and I are WFH but appreciate that we aren’t losing money.

We’ve been self isolating as one household with my DM (who lives next door) so I’ve seen her throughout.

I’ve loved not having the pressure of ‘making most of the weekends’ and planning days out. My DC are perfectly happy mooching around at home - they miss their friends but they speak regularly.

I have enjoyed (for the most part) WFH and hope to keep a couple of days when our office reopens as it’s a much more relaxed day and being able to finish on time and not have the commute has been a revelation.

I do appreciate that we are in a fortunate position to still have our jobs and family contact. I am missing my extended family but we speak/FT daily so it’s not too bad for now.

@ITonyah "those people"!!!!!!!

I can't separate myself from those people because I give a shit about people less fortunate than me and about the negative affect this is having on others.

You have to be the epitome of "I'm alright Jack" but presumably you're still happy to use some of these people to provide the essential services you rely on.

Ever heard the phrase "there but for the grace of god go I?"

Same over here. For both me and DP actually.

I struggle with people. I see through falseness and since I was a child I have never felt like I fit in the room. Everything seemed fake, interactions and relationships seemed to fake around me, apart from the rare few. I seem to be very sensitive to people’s energies, can smell bullshit from a mile away.

I’ve struggled with interactions and anxiety from it all for the duration of my life, particularly at work where I feel like I have to put a front on myself. It all feels so false that I have to remind myself how to smile during a conversation sometimes.

I’ve been at home working for the past two months and for the first time in my life I’ve felt like me again. I’ve not missed the gatherings and the small talk. I’ve not missed shopping and chit chattering to the cashier. I’ve not missed my colleagues asking what I’ve been up to at the weekend and realising they are asking out of convenience so they can talk about their weekend rather than actually giving a shit.

A few small selected people I have missed, my mum and dad in small doses, my partners family and a small handful of friends.

I wish I wasn’t like this, but I am who I am.

My partner feels the same!

*first time in my adult life

As long as people are happy and well, see them only when you want to. Practice saying you don’t want to - without apology. Tell them you love them but you really don’t want to socialise as much as before so you are cutting down generally as you like it.

When you do see people, make it brief.

It’s more enjoyable that way. You can still maintain good contact and if anyone needs you (actually needs!) then make sure they know you love them and they can call on you.

But less socialising can be good and if you’ve enjoyed it during lockdown, keep doing what makes you happy!

Peoplepleaser1 I think many of the posters on this thread also give a shit about those who are suffering. But what does giving a shit look like to you? Does it mean never recognising or feeling your own relief or pleasure? Never experiencing joy? Because I’m not sure that really helps anyone. It’s perfectly possible to recognize and feel your own happiness whilst also proactively trying to help others...eg making donations, online campaigning, charity work etc all of which have continued if not increased during lockdown.

For the down-treaders.. do you realise that simply living in the UK makes us all far far more privileged than 95% of the world?

Being disabled doesn't automatically make you homeless for life. Have you travelled to countries where the disabled line the streets with missing limbs? It's horrific.

We're not at war, you're not at risk of gun violence everytime you leave the house and we live in a VERY safe country.

So by your standards nobody should ever be happy and we must all be eternally miserable because there's always somebody worse off. Or is there a pity cut off to suit you?

I feel similar. I’m kind of dreading certain family members wanting to meet up. Things are difficult at home for me and my dh at the minute with our ds who is autistic and we are just trying to get though each day. I haven’t the energy left for anyone else. Feel kind of guilty that I haven’t missed people though.

Fucking hell!

Is it really not possible for people on here to have one thread where they discuss the aspects of this “new normal” that they’re enjoying without the spiteful bitch plop parade coming along and shitting all over it?

I was going to answer those snidely posts upthread asking about gardens and jobs but fuck that. We don’t have to answer to you just because you don’t like us being happy. There’s something seriously wrong with those of you who’s felt the need to possibly all over a thread like this. I’ve spend the last 10 years in some pretty serious depression and this is the first time I’ve felt properly relaxed and happy in all that time. And I will not apologise for that. Take your spite elsewhere.

I have a lovely house and garden, yes joan04. I am really appreciative of it for the first time in years.

We’re all supposed to be looking after our mental health, talking about it and asking everyone how they are. Except the ones who are happy aren’t allowed to say so apparently.

@AlternativePerspective you hit the nail on the head here!

Just ignore them !! It’s bad for our mental health to get irritated by one view
Like literally FUCK it , let it go

I was pretty euphoric at the start of lockdown
Like all my stresses of school run
Socialising
Getting somewhere on time
Social anxiety
Hosting

Went away

However now it’s 3 months in ..... the strain is starting a bit
I have been having therapy and actually all the thinking and exploring is bringing stuff up

Anyway, don’t allow one view to offend

Easy to say