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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Realising I prefer life in lockdown

240 replies

whatisheupto · 28/05/2020 21:25

I'm wondering if I have some sort of problem. I have felt a huge sense of relief during lockdown... no pressure, no visitors, ability to just please myself (and DH and DC). I mean no disrespect to those who have found the last 10 weeks incredibly hard and stressful for all sorts of reasons.
Since Boris's announcement today, family are immediately messaging with plans to meet up. I suddenly realised I feel a sense of dread, which I feel awful about. They can be pretty annoying and I suppose the past couple of years they have been extra annoying, but they're not awful, compared to the stuff I read on here! I just can't really be bothered with seeing them, but I can't really believe I am saying that out loud. Why aren't I excited, like them and the rest of the country?!

OP posts:
LouLou789 · 28/05/2020 22:27

I’ve slept loads better since lockdown. From a selfish point of view the only downside of lockdown is not seeing the kids and grandkids. Now we can (albeit outside and socially distanced) that will be alleviated.
I’ve already made a list of things I’m not returning to, once any degree of normality comes back.

Crikey0000 · 28/05/2020 22:31

Me too, I love the fact nobody is going to call round, I'm not going to have to go anywhere. On the couple of occasions that I have met up with a friend I've felt a little pressured, although it was really nice to see them. I think there will be other friends I see a lot less of from now on, if the friendships survive at all. Quality not quantity is the way forward

whatisheupto · 28/05/2020 22:36

Wow, I thought I was going to be told I am a loon, but look there's loads of us!
So the question is how do we manage it? How do we fob off the texts assuming we can't wait for a picnic on Monday? And beyond......

OP posts:
Coffeeandbeans · 28/05/2020 22:40

I’m the same. I don’t have any direct family nearby and I’ve realised that as a single parent I don’t I’m going to invited to anyone’s BBQ with 5 others. I’ve enjoyed the lack of pressure of socialising.

Casualbride · 28/05/2020 22:42

Just say you have a cough

Thisisworsethananticpated · 28/05/2020 22:43

Same here and am WFH with 2 kids
The fact I don’t have to BE somewhere ata certain time
I’m the same
My anxiety whilst still there has evolved

bluejelly · 28/05/2020 22:53

I feel exactly the same. I have really enjoyed 95% of lockdown. No commuting, no pressure, time to read and chill and cook and exercise. I don't want to go back to my old life Shock

SecondaryBurnzzz · 28/05/2020 22:56

Me too.

Whywhywhynow · 28/05/2020 22:59

Me too

Ginfordinner · 28/05/2020 23:01

That means putting on make up and proper shoes and going out of the house just to eat crisps and drink and make conversation to random people.

I would be leaping for joy to get an invitation to meet other people.

I realise that everyone who agrees with the OP is an introvert, but spare a thought for those of use who are getting cabin fever from seeing the same four walls 24/7 day after day after day after day after day.

We don't live near family either, and I can't see that we will be able to visit them any time soon.

Also, I have just heard that we will never go back to our offices again, and will be WFH for the foreseeable future.

The only thing I don't miss is the commute to work.

changeitupagain · 28/05/2020 23:03

"Theres been an equalisation of society for one thing and the usual pressure and hassle has been removed.

The populations mental health is in such a state the last few years because we arnt meant to live in this awful capitalist rat race."

What an absolute joke. There has been no equalising, many many people are being pushed into poverty whilst people in high paid white collar positions who can easily work from home are fine.

I don't know where you're standing but from where I am there's far more pressure and hassle. Pressure to keep up with all the work we have so the company doesn't go under, whilst half our team are working with kids at home so only completing half their work meaning the rest of us have to do 12+ hour days to get it done. The hassle of having to queue for everything, always be alert when you're out so as not to go too near anyone else, no relaxing trips outside just to get out the house. Pressure to call family members who I usually don't interact with for 6 months at a time because my mums asked me to check on them. Pressure to look after the vulnerable and do things for them, get involved with the local community. The hassle of people on local groups asking us to drop things off like we all have the time and energy to do so.

I love the 'awful capitalist rat race'. I usually love my job, going into a bustling office, interacting with people, building my career. Spending me evenings and weekends Pershing hobbies, going to the gym, meeting with friends in bars, going out socialising. I love it all, I loved my pre lockdown life and can't wait to get back to it.

There is absolutely no problem with some people enjoying the peace lockdown has brought them and the should absolutely try and continue this in their regular lives if that's what makes them happy. However I absolutely hate people who imply that this lockdown has been a good chance for everyone to slow down, I hate slowing down, I like to be busy. Just because being busy isn't good for your MH doesn't make it the same for everyone else. If some people like having nothing to do, nowhere to go and no one to see that's absolutely fine and good for them, however don't try to imply it would be better for everyone if we all loved like this, it's incredibly patronising and frankly wrong.

For everyone here who has enjoyed aspect of lockdown and are only commenting on their own situations, not trying to put their ideas on anyone else, good for you, I really mean it. I am very envious of people who enjoy their own company and homely hobbies like cooking, reading and puzzles, but it's just not me. To all of you I say make sure you continue with these things after lockdown, say no to invites to things you don't want to attend, go on less nights out, drop a few clubs, look into continuing to wfh after lockdown, you should absolutely be able to continue to enjoy your life how you want. Just please don't try and push these things on people that don't like them whilst you're at it with some idea that it would improve everyone's life and MH if we all lived that way.

Ginfordinner · 28/05/2020 23:03

I just want to add that I have never felt under any "pressure" to socialise, and I don't understand why people do. Is it because you live near family?

Saladmakesmesad · 28/05/2020 23:06

Yes me too. Of course with a huge amount of gratitude that this hasn't (yet) hit us financially or in terms of our health or the health of our loved ones.

But the lifestyle... I love it. I'm very happy in lockdown. My inlaws want to see us now. No! Leave us alone to go for family walks and play games and bake and enjoy our own bubble.

Cherrytangfastic · 28/05/2020 23:09

I love it too. My family are lovely but loud and overbearing, constantly wanting to meet and do things, spend money etc.

I just want a quiet, boring life really!

ComeAlive · 28/05/2020 23:11

I’m with you OP. Dreading things going back to how things were. I’ve loved just being, despite having to homeschool and entertain 2 under 5 years old. I love the pace of it all and the lack of time restraints on my life. It’s been so nice to have a change in pace albeit it upsets me greatly that so many nhs staff in particular have lost their lives because of the situation. That has also reframed my perspective of how I want my life to look like going forward.

MrsOfBebbanburg · 28/05/2020 23:14

but spare a thought for those of use who are getting cabin fever from seeing the same four walls 24/7 day after day after day after day after day.

Only if you spare a thought for those of us who are forced back into the rat race day after day after day when it all starts again? I’m sure you thought of us often before lockdown Wink

LunaNorth · 28/05/2020 23:14

We’ve had a little taste of what humans are designed for.

We’re not supposed to be dashing around, working all the time, crammed into buildings, lacking sleep and decent food.

I’ve loved it, for the most part.

saveeno · 28/05/2020 23:15

There are those who love the interraction and fun of being with friends and family as a group.

There are those who hate it, but enjoy family.

There are those who coped really well not seeing anyone, and enjoyed it.

Now that things are loosening up, those who never really wanted to go to relatively big gatherings are peppering. I am one of them.

Just want to see my immediate family and one or two friends.

There are introverts and extroverts for sure. Fair dues to the extroverts who coped. But they seem to chomping at the bit now to get out and about.

MintyMabel · 28/05/2020 23:16

People don’t realise how lucky they are. Should appreciate it.

The OP’s forced socialisation is as bad for her as your forced isolation is for you. There’s nothing lucky about that.

I’m sure there are people in far worse situations than you, do you spend your whole life feeling blessed you aren’t as badly off as them?

MintyMabel · 28/05/2020 23:18

I love it too. My family are lovely but loud and overbearing, constantly wanting to meet and do things, spend money etc

Are you a member of OH’s family?? We don’t see them often but it is loud and exhausting when we do.

changeitupagain · 28/05/2020 23:19

@Mrsofbebanburg

"Only if you spare a thought for those of us who are forced back into the rat race day after day after day when it all starts again? I’m sure you thought of us often before lockdown"

No one is 'forcing you'. If you prefer life like this there's nothing from stopping you continue to live this way. Say no to more social events, sign up for less clubs, push to wfh now you've proved you can. There is no forcing people to do massive commutes or juggle clubs and ferrying kids around, people choose to do these things and can choose to stop them too.

LadyGAgain · 28/05/2020 23:20

AMEN Op. your first post (which is all I've read so far) summed me up.

SatsumaZoom · 28/05/2020 23:23

I'm feeling the same but I've no idea how to manage it or how to change. It's not like we can say we are busy because it's simply not true but how to get the visits down to quality not quantity. For the first time in weeks I feel anxious and like I won't sleep. Which just makes me feel worse as I know I should feel very greatful that I have people who care about me and want to see me daily. 😔

MrsOfBebbanburg · 28/05/2020 23:26

No one is 'forcing you'. If you prefer life like this there's nothing from stopping you continue to live this way.

Believe me I’m putting a lot of thought into how I can preserve it.

push to wfh now you've proved you can.

Except I can’t. I haven’t been able to work since March 13th. I’m self employed in a job that means going into lots of peoples homes. I’m looking for WFH jobs but I’m not set up for it tech wise and can’t afford to invest in it so as soon as I can I will be back in peoples homes because we need to eat and pay rent.

Campervan69 · 28/05/2020 23:28

I am with you OP. Our little family of five and very close inner circle of grandparents have been incredibly happy in our little bubble in this lovely sunshine with all the stresses of life taken away.

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