Realising I prefer life in lockdown

[whatisheupto]

I'm wondering if I have some sort of problem. I have felt a huge sense of relief during lockdown... no pressure, no visitors, ability to just please myself (and DH and DC). I mean no disrespect to those who have found the last 10 weeks incredibly hard and stressful for all sorts of reasons.
Since Boris's announcement today, family are immediately messaging with plans to meet up. I suddenly realised I feel a sense of dread, which I feel awful about. They can be pretty annoying and I suppose the past couple of years they have been extra annoying, but they're not awful, compared to the stuff I read on here! I just can't really be bothered with seeing them, but I can't really believe I am saying that out loud. Why aren't I excited, like them and the rest of the country?!

I have actually been wondering if it was my menopause making me feel like you op, so glad it isn't just me.

When lockdown was announced I was so worried about how I would cope, fill my time etc.
I live with just one grown up Dd , my other 4 have flown the nest. She isn't very sociable and at first I was quite lonely, then I got used to it and now I love it!

Like others have said, there is nowhere I have to be, no dreaded knock at my door, and no obligation to see family or friends.

I'm retired, but before lockdown I was always out of the house with hobbies, seeing family, meeting up with friends, travelling etc. Now my days are filled with walking my dogs, drawing and colouring, gardening ( never gardened before in my life) I've decluttered my home and taken up a new hobby I've always been interested in.

Tonight was our family Skype night and in-laws were excitedly talking about where we can now go to meet up.
I realised in an instant that I won't be joining in. I love this new life, my anxiety is almost non existent, I'm sleeping better , eating better due to no restaurants being open and generally happier in myself.
This is my new normal.

I know what you mean. I felt like I was in a pressure cooker before lockdown, my mental health was at a real low. This has given me some respite. I know for some people it will be the opposite and I completely understand that it’s been awful for some people being isolated, but I’m a bit anxious about returning to ‘real’ life.

I could have written this post too. I'm loving it. If I can do it up until the school holidays I'll be happy then I can just carry on for 6 weeks.

I'm not looking forward to meeting family as i much prefer the family i made for myself as an adult to the family that were imposed on me at birth.

Me too!

I find it quite depressing that so many posters don't like seeing their families.

Sadly, both my parents died some time ago, MIL died last year, my sister lives over 200 miles away and DH's sister lives 150 miles away, so we don't see either family very often.

We always want what we don't have.

Lovely thread.

Just goes to show that everyone is different, and that is deserving of respect.

Very true saveeno. I agree with a pp that maybe people have rushed lives because they put themselves under unnecessary pressure. For example dashing around for lots of after school activities.

Quite selfishly, I only allowed DD to have 2 after school activities a week.

So martysouth ...you obviously know so many people who have suffered so l am surprised that you are not feeling sad/ empathy for your friends !!

Reading the rest of the thread I can relate to the fact I do not have to spend time with people and can hide away ...but I also think about and care about people who have suffered and died ...💐

I do not understand why people think lockdown is good for introverts. Normally I WFH alone in my house and it’s lovely.

Lockdown sees me sharing my space with 3 teenagers and dh, and I’m really really ready for them all to bugger off back to work and school!

I am feeling the same. DP and I have had the odd squabble here and there but nothing serious, infact we seem to have more of a united/team feeling about a lot of things.
I'm not looking forward to the in-laws invading our privacy.

Maybe people could use this time to accept when life returns to any kind of normality that they don't have to accept invitations, have visitors or rush around as much as they did before.

TBH I don't hate my life right now, but I do get a bit of cabin fever now and again.

The glorious weather has certainly helped a lot. I mostly feel sad for DD who only has one really local friend. She has made a lot of friends at university, but it looks like she won't be seeing any of them any time soon.

I am enjoying the time too. I love walking ddog each day and have found some lovely places so nearby that I never knew were there. I love that I don't have to be dressed by 7:20 in order to start the slog of getting 4 kids up and ready for school, including a school refusing autistic teen who took more time and effort than the other 3 put together. I love that my 10 year old is learning to cook simple meals. I get enough social contact with a weekly family zoom and a weekly friend zoom, and it's so lovely to get out of bed at 8:30 and be "at my desk" at 9.

I know that many many families are having the worst time of their life. For me, whilst my family is healthy, it's been like a little oasis.

I’ve been feeling the same today. I’m very introverted. I miss “proper” lockdown. I’ve really been enjoying just staying in and not having to go to work and chores can be stretched out over days!

I feel the same. I've been having a lovely time in lockdown, just me, DP and our children. No pressure to keep the house spotless at all times incase MIL should visit, not having to spend every Sunday at MIL's, no school run, no need to set the alarm clock. I've not been wearing makeup or straightening my hair. I've just been wearing comfy joggers and vest tops. I'm dreading getting the call from MIL requesting a visit with the GC and from SIL who will want to visit for the weekend when long distance travel is allowed. I could easily go the rest of the summer in lockdown, lounging in the back garden in the sun.

@Tropical2

Then do!

You have every right to say no to MIL and SIL.

You don't have to keep the house spotless in case MIL visits, either turn her away or don't care that she see's your house is messy/shut down any comments from her about it.

You don't have to spend every Sunday at MIL

Yes there are some things that have to go back to normal like the school run and getting up (unless you choose to continue to home educate).

But there's so many things you could just say no to, no one is forcing you to do social things, put on make up. Spend your whole summer lounging in the garden in the sun. And if you can't because of your job then find a job which fits in better with what you want from life.

Don't let societal pressure (or pressure from IL's) revert you back to doing unnecessary things that you didn't enjoy before lockdown, after lockdown ends.

So martysouth ...you obviously know so many people who have suffered so l am surprised that you are not feeling sad/ empathy for your friends !!

Where on Earth did you pluck that assumption from??

You are not alone. X

I’m the same OP. Have actually enjoyed not being forced into socialising and even the weekly family quiz night is causing me anxiety now. Never did it before so can’t understand why we have to do it now.

No one is 'forcing you'. If you prefer life like this there's nothing from stopping you continue to live this way.

Sure. People are just choosing to take whatever job they can get to support their family. I chose to live an hour’s commute away from the city where my job is (the one I chose to take after the company I worked for went bust) It has nothing to do with house prices being so high any closer to the city that I couldn’t afford to live there at the time we moved away. And now I’m chosing to stay in this area so that I don’t have to uproot my daughter from her school and her friends and the medical and support team we’ve built up over the last ten years. There are no jobs in my profession in the town where I live. I guess I’m choosing to stay in my profession that I’ve got 25 years experience in instead of going back to a low wage job where I’d need to rely on the government to support us. Thankfully my boss has now seen the light and is likely to allow me to WFH more but not everyone will do that.

You can’t just make a choice to step out of an entire society set up to work for businesses rather than for people.

We always want what we don't have.

Yes, some people probably do want to have families who aren’t demanding or manipulative or toxic.

I am very content with this life. The DC are secure and more settled than ever. We're living a healthy lifestyle.
I don't miss rushing about in the car and I don't really miss seeing my friends all that much.
Having said all of that, I know that this is a weather dependent bubble. If it had rained for the past ten weeks, my MH would be low and I would be desperate to get out.

You can’t just make a choice to step out of an entire society set up to work for businesses rather than for people.

This^

It’s costing more and more to just make ends meet. There may be many who are in the rat race for foreign holidays and the flashy cars but there are also many in the rat race simply to survive. We can’t all simply opt out of that.