Realising I prefer life in lockdown

[whatisheupto]

I'm wondering if I have some sort of problem. I have felt a huge sense of relief during lockdown... no pressure, no visitors, ability to just please myself (and DH and DC). I mean no disrespect to those who have found the last 10 weeks incredibly hard and stressful for all sorts of reasons.
Since Boris's announcement today, family are immediately messaging with plans to meet up. I suddenly realised I feel a sense of dread, which I feel awful about. They can be pretty annoying and I suppose the past couple of years they have been extra annoying, but they're not awful, compared to the stuff I read on here! I just can't really be bothered with seeing them, but I can't really believe I am saying that out loud. Why aren't I excited, like them and the rest of the country?!

I couldn't be content during lockdown because I haven't been kidding myself that this is somehow equalising society.

It's thrown some people into unimaginable difficulties through no fault of their own. Others have lost loved ones and not been able to see or speak to them whilst they deteriorated and died, then not been able to say goodbye properly. Vulnerable people are isolated totally alone. Young people have been deprived of important opportunities to learn and socialise.

The list is endless and because I care about other people, feel the injustice, and know that it's not fair that I'm broadly ok and they are not I could not ever have enjoyed lockdown.

In order for society to function, huge numbers of people have to work. With this comes enormous stress for many, a daily commute, a constant struggle. Without this our NHS, Education, benefits and other vital systems won't work. Are you happy to opt out of these if you propose a life where people don't need to work?

Most of the business owners I know are planning major redundancies as soon as support is eased, starting with those furloughed. So this is going to get worse and not better for many.

I'm astounded at the selfishness and blinkered approach by so many, "I'm alright Jack" springs to mind. Well good for you- I'm glad I have friends who think differently.

I am enjoying lockdown inasmuch that I can WFH easily. My keyworker role involves face to face client contact which I can now only do to a very limited extent so I am having a very easy time of it and getting paid the same for less work. I love being able to walk every day in nice weather. I'm not massively sociable so not upset about not seeing friends.

But I am worried about the economy and the overall bigger picture. I worry about my kids' education. I worry about how the resulting depression will impact on society and our overall wellbeing and safety and services. I have a SAHM friend who is constantly sharing stupid memes on Facebook about wanting to stay living in a simpler life and not going back to how things were and I think to myself "You won't be thinking that in the winter when your DH has lost his well paid but non essential job and it's freezing and pissing down with rain....".

OP you can carve a life like that in normal times- I do.

I am an introvert. I don't attend parties, almost no weddings, meet friends only rarely for a quick coffee, see extended family once a year.
I work from home and spend most of the daytime alone.
I live with other people, but they are busy during the day normally, I have hours one time in solitude.

I have chosen to live my life this way- and no reason you can't too.

I won't be easing my own lockdown restrictions anytime soon.

Family are still shielding, so I still can't see them.

I know some of my friends have broken lockdown rules, so I don't feel safe mixing with them. Other friends live too far away.

Public toilets still aren't open, so travelling for exercise isn't an option. Might be different if I was male, but it's a bit more complicated if you're female.

Nothing's really changed for me. Or, really, for anyone else, given everyone seems to have made up their own rules and followed their own rules. I don't really see anything to be excited about!

The "society equalised" comment has stunned me, too. I don't know where to start with that one.

I also relate to this. Being able to press the pause button has made me realise how stressed I was. I have been working daily from home but not having to deal with office politics has been a blessing.

Same here.

returnofthecat Fri 29-May-20 06:50:13
I won't be easing my own lockdown restrictions anytime soon.
.........
Nor me. It's far too soon. However I am not under any pressure to do so, can please myself even without the pandemic. It's far more difficult for so many others for whom I feel deep sympathy, at the same time appreciating my own situation.

I'm confused about some of these posts. Its almost like you don't have control over how you choose to live? I don't mean that in a goady way, just genuinely - if you don't want to go to mums every fortnight because she's awful, don't go? If the school clubs are overwhelming, don't do them?

How can society have been equalised? Billions of debt has built up not only for the government, but businesses and families. Key frontline workers have worked incredible hours. The dustbin men have collected my rubbish every week while I have sat in my garden, in the sunshine, working from home on 100% of my salary, but no commuting costs. That’s not equity that’s unfair. My sons A levels have been cancelled. His part time job has ceased. My other year 10 child has barely had any education for 8 weeks. Yep that’s equality.

Well said, Jennifer.

I have come out of a situation of being relentlessly bullied and harassed at work, where I whistleblew before Christmas, and Lockdown has given me the headspace I needed to 'get better' and get stronger. I went straight into a new job in January and I've not had breathing space.

When things were awful at work, so much so that I had panic attacks on an almost daily basis, I put on 6 stone. Not even through relentless overeating, but from giving up all exercise and just working all hours. I really do feel that I have got my life and my head back on track, have lost 10 lbs this fortnight and I feel so so strong. So Lockdown has had a lot of positives for me.

I agree with Jennifer as well.

TBH our lives haven't changed that much except that I am working from home. DH is semi retired and works from home anyway. We didn't have a stressful or busy life before lockdown. I work part time, so had an ideal work life balance. We rarely see family because we don't live near them, but get on well with them anyway. So lockdown isn't very different for us.

I miss being able to go to places - York for the day, for example, and I miss seeing friends for coffee/meals out and going to the pub.

I've been doing this before lockdown anyway. Just learn to say no or say you have other plans already that you can ot cancel. It's not hard. Every now and again I might have to listen to a grumble but it's my time and I decide how I want to use it.

Only thing I miss is the quieter roads which made it much more fun to cycle at any time of the day, now it's back to going out super early or late evening. It's no fun cycling in traffic

OP I feel the same as you. MN is such a weird place where on the one hand you must be a horrible selfish person for enjoying a quieter no pressure life but the same posters can’t grasp that you can personally enjoy lockdown whilst still having empathy and reaching out to those suffering and are baffled why you can’t just have full control how you choose to live. I’ve enjoyed lockdown tremendously!

I have fibromyalgia and I’ve been able to do things at my pace without constantly having to explain myself or push myself to do more. It’s been bliss actually. That doesn’t mean im not worried about the economy, the number of businesses closing down, job losses etc. I know we have to get back to normality pretty sharpish. But it’s been a rare unprecedented time for some of us where life just stopped temporarily and outside the horrors going on we experienced a different slower pace than what we are used to every bloody day with no end. If people can’t understand why we don’t have full control over this, then there goes your freaking privilege.

'Society equalised'? What an utterly deluded comment.

I'm self employed and am not likely to have work for a year at least. My business is destroyed. After this weekend when the self employed grant runs out I have no income. I'm applying for jobs but so are many other people.

My neighbour faces losing the job she's done for 30 years. She's devastated.

I've been catapulted into a nightmare and these have been the worst 10 weeks of my life. I wake up every morning with a knot in my stomach.

Society equalised? Don't make me laugh.

Anyone who has been enjoying this must be very privileged.

I think the time at home has made many people realise what is important in life really .I would like to meet up with family again ,but a lot of them are shielding so not sure when.My DH has been WFH as well and we have taken the dog out for our exercise so no massive impact on our daily life TBH.

Jennifer2r its not that we don't have control it's just that we share the control. For me how often I see family (which I love and adore but I don't want to see every day) is not just my decision but my husband and children's decision too, and if I'm faced with a situation where something is better for them then I generally go along with it. It's the same with seeing friends.

For the record I don't think it has been a "great equaliser" far from it. And not wanting to return to normal life is not because this has been easy, I've been fighting to save my little business which I'll probably still lose at some point over the next year anyway. There have been so many stresses about money and health and sick loved ones, and juggling home schooling with home working but I didn't feel this post was referring to that. It doesn't mean things weren't hard. And I'm well aware that people have had it far far worse and for that I'm so sorry.

Personally for my situation, Ive really enjoyed it! I struggled for a start but now its the new norm. Will definitely be saying no and spending more time in my immediate family bubble following this 😃

@user1471565182

Nope Im exactly the same. A lot of people have said the same. Theres been an equalisation of society for one thing and the usual pressure and hassle has been removed.

The populations mental health is in such a state the last few years because we arnt meant to live in this awful capitalist rat race.

Would you like to live in Venezuela or North Korea instead?

I think that lockdown has potentially given people the opportunity to realise what kind of life they actually want to have.

Let’s be honest, so many people live their lives on auto pilot, they go to work, they go to the pub with this one one night, that one the other, they meet someone on the same day every week for lunch, go to the parents at a certain time on a certain day every week, and after a while it’s not something we consciously think through, it’s just how it is.

Now we’ve been put into a position where many of those people have suddenly been forced to reduce those parts of their lives, and suddenly this gives them the realisation that they’ve just been going with the flow all along.

Now they’re able to be back in control of their own lives and realise what they actually want.

And saying you enjoy lockdown doesn’t make someone non empathetic. Of course there are people for whom lockdown is going to be harder. My family and my partner live hundreds of miles away and I haven’t seen them since march. Am shielded so don’t expect to see them any time soon. Many people have lost their jobs, but people are entitled to be glad for that what they do have.

Whoever you are, and however hard your life is, truth is that there’s always someone worse off, so does that leave us in a position where nobody is allowed to have an opinion because of the ones who aren’t as well off?

I've loved it.

Already trying to plan how I can keep this relaxed feeling going when things are back to normal.

I've loved not going to the supermarket as much so will definitely be planning shoppong more. I hate driving I've decided - we live rurally so that's a hard one to crack.

But when things go back to normal dd1 will be back at uni and other dcs will be back at school and I'll be alone a lot. I've loved having them all at home.

Me too! I’m not hating staying at home and spending so much time with dc. I didn’t realise how run down I wasn’t until I was forced to stay at home! The first few weeks were hard but now I’m loving having so much time to just chill and not having to spend my whole day clock watching and rushing to get to places on time. My parents live on the next road and we usually go see them in the garden every few days so I’m not really missing them as such. I do miss my friends but we’re been zoom calling and having wine evenings once a week. It’s honestly no where near as bad as I thought it would be.

Theres been an equalisation of society for one thing and the usual pressure and hassle has been removed.

This is one of the most ignorant things I have ever read on here.

I kind of feel the same. I've been really busy during lockdown as I'm a keyworker. And I've missed my friends and family. But I haven't missed the pressure of it all, the anxiety about social occasions, the running from pillar to post. I've just had to go to works and get in with it.
Soon as the press briefing was over yesterday a friend messaged about having us around next Friday night and where I thought I would be pleased, Im kind of dreading it.