Really lovely guy but... I don’t find him attractive

[CheeryCherry]

.. we’ve known each other 18 months but started dating a few months back. Not my usual type but was trying not to be so narrow minded and accept him as he has a great personality and we do get on really well. He has fallen heavily for me - which I suspect he has done with others in the past. He’s now constantly talking about moving in with me, buying furniture for my house, getting married, wants to call me and text me day and night. He does admit to being a little insecure. I try not to commit to future decisions, but he constantly asks direct questions which I struggle to avoid.
I want things to be more relaxed and steadily paced. He thinks at our age (50s) we should grab opportunities while we can.
Plus.... although he is lovely, romantic, thoughtful.... I don’t fancy him. Does that matter??

He’s saying he’s crying and is planning to come to see me after work on Thursday. I’m saying no. It’s not sinking in. Cant block in case that does make him turn up

Text: take a telling: no. N.o. do not contact me again or I will report you for harassment.

Screenshot that message and then block him.

If he shows up, call the police.

Fucking crying my arse. Aye, crockadile tears. Manipulative prat.

Seriously, dont miss and hit the wall. 'Its over. And if you come here, I will contact the authoroties'.

Don't feel harsh. He is a lunatic and you have to protect yourself.

For 'discuss' read 'persuade you to change your mind'.

What is there to discuss? You've said you don't want to carry on the relationship. Where do you go from there - other than him trying to hypnotise you into saying that you really do?

Fizzy I have literally copied and pasted that. Awaiting backlash ...

Atta a girl. 💐

Just thinking: if the role were reversed...

If there was a guy and some girl he was dating was getting too close too fast, so he asked her to cool it a bit ...then the next thing he knows she was texting him to tell him she told her father about him ect ect - he'd be bloody shiting it. And then if he split with her and she started with this bollocks this guy is giving you now...do you think he would feel obligated to be nice to her? Would he buggary! He'd be down the pub telling his friends he had met a lunatic! xD

Why do we women feel it's our job to baby mens feelings. It bloody well isn't! No means no. Over means over.

Oh it’s not going well... he wants to meet face to face to discuss it - ‘it’s the least I can do’...
This is exactly what an Ex said to me.
I text back 'No. I've ended this. That is it. There is no need to meet face to face.'
Then I blocked him on everything.
He did find me on LinkedIn so I just stated that I was NOT going to meet him.
He left me alone after that.
It's time to take control OP.
You don't want to meet him.
You don't owe him anything.
It's over. He HAS to accept that.
Simple.
Just say NO! Then block!

OP your situation is bringing back horrific memories for me, as it's exactly how my ExP and i started out. He turned out to be an abusive nightmare..
Please stay resolute, you and i are the same age, and neither of us have time to be wasted on nightmares! There's too much life to live..

she was a gambling addict so accrued credit card debts which he ended up paying off when they sold the house as she couldn’t pay them. So he ended up with nothing.

I bet he was the one with the gambling problem.

That's pretty much what I was alluding to, PicsInRed. I don't buy someone paying off the gambling debts of someone they aren't even married to (and therefore with no legal responsibility for the debts) to the extent of having to sell a house!

Well I’ve had 2 hours of messaging. He’s adamant he deserves that I meet him. I kept saying no. I told him it feel like harassment now. Of course he asked if I’ve met someone else 🙄. You have made me all wonder about the debt situation. I’ve told him I’m not replying anymore tonight. I was a bit sneaky and avoided his 16 phone calls by saying my phone wasn’t letting me pick up...!
Thank you all - couldn’t have done that without your encouragement

Blimey, he’s nuts. You’ve dodged a bullet there.

Stay firm OP!

And WELL DONE!

Well that's a start at least.

But it should have been 'any more at all' not just tonight.

Bet his next move is that he will try to talk you into remaining friends. Dont give him that, it's an inch. And if you give them an inch they take a mile. Kindness is weakness to his sort. And he most certainly is not a friend to you.

Surely you can block him now infact?

But well done so far!

Tomorrow send him one text stating that you don’t wish to discuss the end of your relationship and that you want no further contact. Don’t respond to any more texts or calls. If he turns up at your door, don’t let him in!

Wow yeah his reactions show a complete lack of respect for your decision and your boundaries. You're well rid OP!

@CheeryCherry, just read the whole thread. I really recognise this behaviour, manipulative and controlling and if you dont nip it in the bud now and keep strong it is going to ramp up. So sorry you're going through this. An ex of mine ended up stalking me, it was awful. He was threatening and abusive.
Its needy and unattractive on his part. Please keep strong OP, you've got this

What Dozer said! Be as boring to him as you can be. (Better still, block after the final text.)

I hope you can see how crazy this is after three months of dating. The guy's acting as though you're throwing away a serious long-term relationship!

I'm sorry but he's seeing his meal ticket disappearing into the sunset...

Stay resolute OP and after your final text making it very clear block and delete him on all media.

In case he tries to visit you: ensure the chain chain is in your door and/or look through the peephole if you have one.

Hope he gives up soon! 🌹

wouldnt be at all surprised if he turns up at OP house

Me neither :( or starts sending her long rambling letters through the post (a common one apparently). Unfortunately it has to be fought through either way. He wont give up if she isnt resolute.

He’s sent several more messages and texts but I’m not opening them tonight.
I can’t believe I’m in this situation! I’m still shaking off my ex H - he’s still stalking me.
Jeez I’m not even much of a catch - obese and tired all the time
I’m going to have to resign my self to the single life - I’m obviously not good at picking ‘normal’ blokes.
Ooh another message ‘I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you’

he deserves

🤣🤣🤣🎩