So upset about this but DH doesn't see the issue

[DJTanner]

I have known I have an onion and garlic intolerance for a few years now. I get lots of horrible symptoms if I eat either of them and over the years the intolerance has got worse. DH doesn't seem to 'get' it and thinks I'm being fussy or awkward. He often says 'oh yeah you don't like onion or garlic do you?' if I check, for example, a menu in a restaurant to see if something is suitable for me to eat.

About a week ago he decided to do a bbq one night and went and bought burgers and sausages for it. He assured me that he'd chosen burgers that had no onion or garlic in and would be fine for me and said he'd checked the ingredients. Just before he cooked I asked to double check the ingredients and he got annoyed with me and said 'I've already TOLD you there's no onion or garlic in them and I double checked before I cooked them and there is no onion or garlic in them'. He also said he'd already put the packaging in the outside bin.

He did the BBQ and, thinking I could trust my husband, I ate a burger. Cue the next day feeling absolutely awful with an upset tummy, aching, tiredness, and other symptoms. I got the packaging out of the bin and saw that the burgers did indeed have onion in them. I told him that I'd checked and that was why I was feeling ill and he was completely un-sorry and didn't really seem bothered at all and just kept saying he'd made a mistake and I should just accept it.

I've now had a week of symptoms and feeling really unwell, including feeling really down as this is also a side effect of the intolerance. He has been totally unsympathetic and if anything seems to think it's funny, even when I've had diarrhoea or stomach cramps.

Would you be upset or am I in the wrong? Like I said, the intolerance affects how I feel mentally for a few days so I feel really down and tearful about it all.

@JovialNickname Are you under the care of a doctor or having investigations into this? As if you're not, I think your partner could be understood for being slightly credulous as it would seem strange to suffer such a severe and ongoing reaction to certain foods without looking into it further.

You are not often under the ongoing care of a dr for an intolerance such as this. Once diagnosed, you manage it yourself as it usually involves just avoiding food that triggers an issue, and OTC meds to control anything else.

Why are you excusing and being an apologist for his shitty behavior? It is not "understandable" for him to be credulous about his wife's intolerance to these things AT ALL!

Would it be OK for wait staff to credulous of op's need to avoid a certain food type unless she showed them an "ongoing" schedule of appointments with her dr? No, it wouldn't, so there is NO excusing this at all. But well done on trying to make it op's fault that her dh doesn't seem to give a shit about her health, and so triggered a horrible reaction for her.

He often says 'oh yeah you don't like onion or garlic do you?'

When I read this sentence I just thought you were over sensitive. I often get people reading menues saying What are you ordering - oh yeah you don't eat meat do you.

But what followed is not great. Most shop bought burgers would have onion in at least if not garlic too so he really should have checked. I am not allergic to meat I just don't eat it. Mind you, sometimes the wording is so small. I bought a desseert pot from Tescos. Unfortunately the price sticker was over some of the ingredients. After eating it, I found it have gelatine in it - beef gelatine!

One thing I know I am allergic to is Strawberries! I get nasty big spots if I eat them.

Do you cook most of the meals? Is he just a bbq cook? Cos I am willing to bet if he was allergic to onions and garlic, you would care enough not to add them or buy something you know he couldn't eat. Selfish Prick. Pity you didn't vomit all over him!

But why did he say he checked when he clearly didn’t

Because he thinks the OP is a fussy eater. He thought he could feed the burgers to her and there would be no reaction as she thought there was no onion in them hence she'd be fine.

He could have easily picked up some mince and made his own burgers rather than buying shop bought. It isn't difficult to make burgers.