Dating Thread 189 - The One Where We Date Without Meeting or Leaving Home

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

You can’t know if they have nice hands and eyes from a profile really. I meant that is something you only know from meeting. I came back from a date once in a right flap because he had really sexy hands 😂

@CheesecakeAddict

I did initially get dressed up but I also sometimes dress down in some kind of skimpy nightwear 😛😂

I would reply to anyone who isn’t overtly weird or instant ick

Then just try to deduce from there who might be attractive in real life/is nice to talk to

@Menora

I would reply to anyone who isn’t overtly weird or instant ick

Then just try to deduce from there who might be attractive in real life/is nice to talk to

Ah, that's my issue - nearly all the blokes in my search results are instant ick! Or illiterate. Or both! 😭

There is no point trying if it’s just ick immediately

You will need to keep swiping!

Today I am struggling with lack of sex/kissing/cuddling for sure 😂

Urgh how much longer do you think it’s going to be? Ok it’s not the end of the world I know that but ok I am having a moment where I am sick of it. It’s been so long it feels like forever now

@Menora I have a feeling I'm going to grow cobwebs in my nether region before I ever experience any of that again.

Speaking to the only guy on tinder that I have fancied straight away, and it is clear that we have nothing in common 😔.

Holy actual fuck. He's now asking how I birthed my child. I need to kill this conversation but it's like watching a crash at the side of the road

A few friends dry patches are now so long because of lockdown that they can donate blood 😂

I do wonder how long it will go on for, I wonder how they will word the announcement when the time comes. This calls for the full body condom again 😂

Can you really fancy someone from a picture, you need to add things in, their expressions, way of talking, body language etc. Sure I think you can appreciate that you find a person in an image good looking, but I think you need added ingredients to fancy.

🌈

I think some people are clearly WOW from a good photo but they might have all manner of off putting things going on in RL 😂

Will they all say ‘go now, go forth and have protected sex and don’t multiply too much’

@CheesecakeAddict

Haha tell him the baby fell out in M&S

I do have cobwebs!!

Video date with Mr Camping in 5 mins. I'm already talking myself out of it 🙈

Lol at cobwebs and babies falling out! Lockdown has a lot to answer for..

bunkbed your post and your outlook are really inspiring. I think I’m going to adopt that. Especially thinking about how someone makes you feel.

I’ve been with a partner who I was really attracted to and always looked forward to meeting him but he made me feel inadequate when I was with him. He would say “blue dress” or “new shoes” but never say they were nice, for example. But for some reason I’d keep going back for more, even though at the time I’d be thinking 😔
Misty I also had neglectful/abusive parents and (despite being very academic, sporty and successful) I never got any praise or warmth from them. I wonder if that’s why I was so attracted to him? Someone I was trying to please?

I then married someone I thought was “safe” and he sucked the joy out of me. It was a lukewarm disaster and again he wasn’t very affectionate.

So concentrating on the here and now would be great for me, questioning whether my needs are being met from the start and making decisions based on that rather than giving endless chances. I do think I’m getting better at it.

😱 sorry that was long!

Help! Mr Camping put old photos up. He's much older than he advertised. How do I get off the phone?

@CheesecakeAddict

Help! Mr Camping put old photos up. He's much older than he advertised. How do I get off the phone?

The escort you ordered has just arrived?

Oh no, you must have a water leak as some water is dripping through the ceiling.

Just say, sorry to cut this short but you have to go. Bye 👋🏻

@Ihavenicelegs sorry to hear you've been through similar.

I totally agree that you can't judge attraction from just photos, which is exactly my point - what criteria are people using to choose who to contact? The photos I find attractive are so few and far between, and then usually let down by a poor profile... That the numbers are against me when old is a numbers game! Then if I do end up chatting to someone it's very hard not to get over invested as it's so rare and who knows when another one will come along! I probably do have high standards but I also don't want to settle (again). Maybe it's just not going to happen again for me. I missed the boat by settling with exh

@CheesecakeAddict hope you've extricated yourself by now... But just turn off your camera and say lots of "can you hear me?" "I can't hear you" then cut the call

I escaped. I lied and said. I was too tired. Fuck! When do men (OK not all men!) do that! That's the second time that's happened where someone has used old pictures, and have obviously lied loads on their bio. I feel all catfished and I need a hug 😂😩

@CheesecakeAddict

Help! Mr Camping put old photos up. He's much older than he advertised. How do I get off the phone?

Oh no! Did you escape?

A smile always gets my attention on a profile. But so few men have photos of them smiling. And interesting eyes as well. I find eyes quite fascinating.

After that, I try and gauge if we will have anything in common. I do quite a bit of sport, so anyone who looks like they spend their day on the sofa watching tv, is an instant no.

Misty9 I have the same problem as you. Rarely get a response to messages and very few matches.
I've been on tinder for 3 weeks and I have 3 matches. One sends the occasional message but I've heard nothing from the other two.

I'm amazed that people say they have 100s of messages on POF. I get, maybe 3 or 4 a week. I never reply because they are always over an hour away. Or the opposite of what I'm looking for.

Ideally I'd like someone tall, who is active so understands my commitments to my sports and looks after themselves. But whenever I try messaging someone like that, they're not interested.

CheesecakeAddict good to hear you escaped!
I don't know why people use old photos. They are going to be found out eventually.
I keep seeing profiles that have been active for about 6yrs with the same photos.

I just don’t get that - I know everyone wants to put their best foot forward on their profile but using old photos is just stupid.