Dating Thread 189 - The One Where We Date Without Meeting or Leaving Home

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

I had my second date yesterday. It was ok. We walked and talked and the time went quickly.
But I felt something was missing. Whether that's because we have to keep our distance. Or that the spark I felt on the first date, just wasn't there, I don't know.
At the end he asked what we should do next time. And we both said, not another walk.
I'll wait and see if he gets in touch but I'm not bothered if he doesn't.

@echoelephant I think it sounds positive that he asked what you are doing next time. It's a really odd time to date

Hi everyone
Just really need to share this and get it off my chest.
After a year of Internet dating, Ive received my first threat this morning :(
Matched on bumble, exchanged lots of messages and had about 5 phonecalls. Went on a socially distanced walk on Monday and we didn't hit it off in person so the messages dropped off over the following couple of days. When I said I wasn't looking for a second date, I received a scathing message attacking every area of my personality and he's put on his social media that "revenge is sweet, khama will get me and its pay back time". He doesn't know where I live luckily but knows where I work :(. Hopefully it's an idle threat but he's done a good job of convincing me I made the right decision about the second date :(

@Ceebeegee that's awful

@ceebeegee that sounds terrible. screenshot anything like this. are you still going to your place of work or are you working from home at the moment?

@Ceebeegeethat sounds scary. Have you screenshotted it and informed the police?

Tell me what you think of this. One of my conversations, the one who I'm not 100% sure what he looks like apart from lots of close ups of his head, well I googled his number. This took me to companies house where it had his address on (he told me he lived in the centre of a nearby city and this matched up, and the job title matched up too as well as the field of work he's in). Now funnily enough, this address is on the same street as my best friend. I asked her and she said there is a guy that lives there, but he's early 40s (not early 30s) and he has a wife. 🤔 She has lived there her whole life so unlikely to be wrong.

@cheesecakeaddict did you send her any of his pics?

Sent her photos. She actually knows him (she went to school with him) but he doesn't live at that address. 😂😂 Tiny world

@Ceebeegee
How awful, some men are dickheads.
I would say the majority just post stuff like that and wouldnt actually do anything.
He clearly posted that for your benefit knowing you would see, delete him off social media asap and try to forget about him bit screenshot the post first.

As you say it's a lucky escape, if he gets like that after being told someone isnt interested imagine what he would be like if you had different viewpoints on other stuff.

@CheesecakeAddict
Thank god it wasnt the married man

@CheesecakeAddict it is a tiny world.

Fed up with Mr Paramedic, firstly is saying if we don't meet up this afternoon for lunch then he is back to work next week and will oy have weekends. He is also a massive drip feeder. Turns out he isn't actually a paramedic even though he calls himself one. He is actually a medic in the army and is based at the same camp as Mr Army FFS to me that's a totally different job and a massive drip feed.

@Dancerinthemoonlight remember, if it's not fun, stop. It's a bit odd why he'd lie about that

@CheesecakeAddict that's interesting about bumble. Maybe I'll just stick to getting back on tinder. Anyone on pof these days?

@Ceebeegee that's awful! Gosh, what a loser.

I was about to join tinder last night but realised all my recent photos are rubbish. What kind of photos have you put up of yourself? Think I might have to put camera timer on and take some new photos of myself . I have many close ups but barely none in full length. Good photos make a difference don't they?

@bother7 I'm on tinder, bumble and pof. So far I have the most interest from tinder, then pof and hardly anything from bumble.
I have put up 2 pictures of myself and 1 full length I took in a mirror. I have the same pictures up on all 3 sites as I hate taking photos of myself and think I look good in these specific photos.

@dancerinthemoonlight

Is it a coincidence this guy also works with the army kind of? He is off tinder right?

@Ceebeegee, must have a screw loose poor bloke. Take screenshot and if not yet blocked let him know you are going to police.

@Bother7 I’m on tinder, bumble and pof.
I’ve hidden my profile on bumble and pof because I find the guys on bumble seem to match and then either let you expire or just want to chat endlessly. A bit passive.
POF I had hundreds of messages etc (over 300) within the first 24 hours and it was a pain having to sift through them. I stupidly hadn’t applied any filters. But loads of arrogance so that put me off.

Tinder for me has the most “normal” guys on it and most seem keen to actually meet so I’m sticking with that for now.

Thank you everyone.
Screenshots taken of everything. Blocked everywhere.

@Ceebeegee
My friend had that when she ended it with a guy, scary.

I just got rid of a potential iron because I just had a feeling I was being catfished and he was bordering on scary love bombing though we hadn't met. To call him out I asked for a specific selfie and I was blocked 5 seconds later. 😁

Mr Scent is doing the slow fade so I asked him everything ok last night and no reply. So I'll give it to tomorrow then I'll say goodbye and block.

I've got a couple of tinder chats on the go so we'll see how they go.

Trying not to think of Mr Swan ... it's like a kick to the gut to get a 6 paragraph apology for being selfish and not showing that he valued my friendship. Only to have him make no effort to contact me for the last 10 days.

Ok ladies need your help!
Park date tomorrow

I am having a horrendous period
I am going to wear a black dress, stuff my pants with as much padding as I can get away with and also wear some shorts under it too. But there will be no toilets open

I am so worried about leaking though. And how long will I realistically be able to stay on the date before I need to go home? because I have a tilted uterus and when I stand up etc I just all pours out at once. What will I sit on? Argh

@menora super plus tampax pearl and sanitary towel(s) put on just before you leave home would work for a while? Plus by tomorrow will it have eased a little? If you have all the San pro knickers shorts and a black dress I don’t think leaking would be an issue- how long will you be out for? I can relate to horrendous periods!!

Thanks @Dancerinthemoonlight @Ihavenicelegs sounds like tinder is best bet. I hate photos too. Something that I found difficult before was trying to figure out how tall men were. I am quite tall and usually am attracted to tall and broad men. Sometimes I'd chat to someone for a while then ask his height and he'd say he was tiny. I am open minded and don't have a type at all but physically it seems I am only attracted to taller men. Anyone else found this? At least on pof you know the height etc and don't need to ask but tinder more tricky...

@Myfabby He is from pof, went back and checked his profile to see if I missed anything and it says paramedic there aswell. It just seems like an odd thing to lie about. He definatly is in the army and doesn't work alongside them, he lives on base and it is his life for the next 4 years. I'm not bothered if I don't meet him as he is beginning to seem very immature for his age

@Menora some public toilets and those in big supermarkets are now open. Are you close to any of those in case of emergency?

@Bother7 I find I prefer taller men than myself and I'm 5'7. I have dated my own height and shorter but felt awquard wearing heels around them.
Im finding that most men will ask if I have a type and I say I have traits I look for rather than a type. When they ask I list of the traits and put in that I like men who are taller than me which then gets them to ask my height and tell me theirs.

@Ihavenicelegs forgot to say wow, 300+ messages in 24 hours!!

One more question. When I was on tinder before loads of men I know irl kept popping up, even some of my male friends who I never discuss dating with . The ones I fancied I swiped right to haha and the ones I didn't swiped left obviously. But for some reason this put me off tinder seeing so many people I know especially as I am quite shy. Anyone else experienced this?

I wrote a long profile last time saying all my hobbies and that I had kids etc. Not sure whether to do the same this time or just keep it short and sweet?