Dating Thread 189 - The One Where We Date Without Meeting or Leaving Home

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@CheesecakeAddict I have swiped right on about 30 so far. I'm enjoying the chats and some have moved to WhatsApp. There are far more men in my local area on tinder than any other app.

I had gold for a while, I had over 800 swipes, they were mostly people I'd not swipe on, miles away or empty profiles.
I don't think the 1km trick works for me

@carvingthelook the 1km seems to have stopped working for me. I have apparently 99+ but no one showing up at the 1km setting

@Dancerinthe moonlight. I feel the same way, lost a lot of weight in the last year but still see my fatter self in the mirror. I can’t get my head around people actually swiping right for me, I always feel they must be desperate.

OK the 1km trick is only giving me like 5 people now when it says I have 99+.

mind blowing sex is very distracting lol

sorry I cant find or remember... how long do u give an iron to respond before moving on? 48hrs? 24hrs? was just a hey what u up to msg and hes been online plenty since I sent it. not been 24hrs yet, just checking.

out of interest when would u expect a friend to reply to a message like that? I know it's boring but was trying to keep it light and see if he was free for a chat.

800 swipes!! That’s got to be a record 😃

I’ve got a few chats on the go, a few matches lined up who haven’t messaged yet (it’s not been 24 hours and if they don’t message within 48 I’ll delete).

One guy seemed quite nice (again) and then I think might be negging? Bit of a drip feed first about my profile then said I look scary in one of my pics 😕
That’s not cool is it? Although also that I look amazing in the others.
I’m not taking the pic down but I wonder if he’s trying to see if I will?

@ihavenicelegs it's a weird comment, I'd just ignore but be alert for any more weird comments.

Ok ladies I’m sooo new to this I think I need a lot of help!
First man I was talking to for a couple of months, turned out had a girlfriend! Didn’t meet or anything tho.
Went back on tinder at the weekend started talking to a lovely man almost straight away, was supposed to meet in park today but he messaged me this morning saying sorry I had another date yesterday and went really well so want to see how it goes!
How the hell do you actually meet people?! Soo close to just giving up! Help me ladies xx

@crazycatlady20 it's usually about 36 hours but it does vary from person to person. I usually give it 48 hours. From your message is expect something along the line of trying to keep busy or what they had been doing.

@crazycatlady20 I give 48 hours before I delete.
Mr Italian (yes, I have potential iron already 🙈) wants to meet for a SD walk in MY town. This freaks me out, but it shouldn't, right? I'm not 100% of him. He seems very serious

Is anyone else having issues with Tinder. Trying to send messages and they are failing to send

Me too @dancerinthemoonlight
All that flirting in the sun must have crashed it 😂

@CheesecakeAddict go with your gut. Maybe it’s too soon for you? Can you delay til you’re a bit more decided?

@CheesecakeAddict get back out there! It's just a walk in the sunshine, if he's too serious then don't see him again but it all helps with the moving on

I might unmatch him. Harsh, I know, but I am just not getting any vibes from him.

@cheesecakeaddict if you weren't feeling good about him then there is nothing wrong with deciding you didn't want to meet him.

I have been so much better at asserting my boundaries today. I think I'm still going to have wobbles where I don't feel good enough. Maybe I should do my hair, makeup and get dressed up one day next week. I haven't done any of that since lockdown begun. I need to start seeing what everyone else seemingly sees.

@Dancerinthemoonlight that sounds like such a good idea! It's nice to get that confidence boost.

OK I told Mr Italian that I wasn't interested and have unmatched. I'm being stricter with myself this time around because being single doesn't make me unhappy and I need to stop putting everyone else's feelings above my own whilst making myself uncomfortable and anxious. It seems I'm after a fucking unicorn anyway 😂

Hello all. Joining you for the first time. Haven't rejoined any dating apps yet. Which ones are you on. Tinder?

I'm looking for a relationship rather than something casual. Perhaps tinder isn't the way to go this time? I have little/no experience of the others. Would love some recommendations

@bother7 welcome. I joined tinder for the first time on Monday and to my surprise not everyone on there is looking for something casual, some people are looking for relationships. I think on every dating site and app you get a mix of people looking for casual and relationships

Just been catching up on everyone’s news. Been an interesting week. I think mr stationery has turned out to be a bit of a gaslighter. All the nice things he said he is now trying to make out that it was all me which is complete rubbish. I’ve actually had 3 sd walks with a friend who I’ve known for years. Will call him mr mole. He has messaged me every day and although I’ve never looked at him that way before I think there may be a bit of a spark there

Thanks @Dancerinthemoonlight that's true. Do you have any dates lined up yet?

@bother7 I have been asked for a few dates and I am in the process of arranging them.
I had a lovely hour long talk to a new iron tonight. I think I will call him Mr Unexpected, the hour flew by and he wants to have a video call.
It's gone a bit cold with Mr Paramedic, he just seems so young and immature. It's the same few what are you doing, are you in or out etc texts everyday. He also drove me mad on the video call last night with his sniffing. Most people have hayfever at the moment including me but would it kill you to use a tissue and not sniff.

Had a bit of a rough day with some blocked messages and voicemail but then there is a reason that the number is blocked. I'm going to see if there is a way that I stop getting notifications about blocked calls and texts.

Hey @Bother7 I find tinder to be an even bag of relationships and hook ups. There's bumble as well but for my area it is just full of weirdos and just too many men lying about their age to a laughable degree so I came off there sharpish. But that's probably more my luck rather than the site as a whole. 😂

I haven't thought about Mr Vegan all day 😊. Slowly slowly I'm getting there. One of the guys I was speaking to on Tuesday who I said I didn't think there was much there (not Mr Italian who I have now unmatched because he was quite dull actually) is becoming more interesting. I'm not going to let my guard down though because I am still only window shopping 😂. Now his tinder profile only has his face and I'm curious to know what he really looks like. I mean, what if his head is massively disproportionate to his body for example or he is super short. 🤔