Dating Thread 189 - The One Where We Date Without Meeting or Leaving Home

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Just thinking about what photos to use (feel like an attention seeking teenager but I’m going to try to take some good and honest selfies over the next couple weeks).

Thinking it actually doesn’t hugely matter as long as they show what I look like?

Looked for tips online and a lot of them seemed a bit out of date?

“Show your interests”

“Show you’ve been to some interesting places”

From my point of view I just end up looking at photos of some bloke on a week package holiday to Vietnam with a long distance shot of him white water rafting as an office team building exercise in 2007 and thinking 🤷‍♀️.

It doesn’t change if we click over text or in person or not.

@menora there was someone here I was so sure was the guy I was seeing and ghosted me after 3 very expensive dates ( which he paid for ).

He told me how women ob bumble used to ask for dick pics and he sent them a pic of a cockerel. Someone here I don't know who said someone sent them a pic of a cockerel and my intuition said it was the same guy.

I’ve got 2 exes I wonder about. Wonder if they will turn up on these threads some day!

I also am kind of interested in Mr Returns exes story. It is not weird or mad or anything but he hasn’t given me very many details and I am curious

I read a lot of MN threads and it all made me wonder today 😂

I don't think anyone would like my ex's and I would tell them to run a mile lol. There has only been one old iron that I'd say was a nice guy just not the right one for me, I think whoever ends up with him will be lucky.

I can't even remember all my irons so I wouldn't have a clue 😳.

Mr Electric, who I met on Tinder, I thought he was super hot, we went on a few really good dates, and have stayed in constant touch during lockdown sometimes via video chat or phone calls or WhatsApp.
He has still been working, so what I’m going to ask isn’t lockdown fever, but I’m just not sure about him. It’s been around 3 months....this should still be super fun shouldn’t it? It’s becoming less fun for me....he’s using me as a sounding board to slag his ex off (the mother of his child). He’ll ask my opinion, if I give it he dismisses it because I don’t know her or if I don’t give it he sends ? Until I do.
This isn’t normal is it? To bleat on about your ex after such a short length of time, especially when they split more than 5 years ago.

@Mylifestartstoday I find that really off putting, slagging off exes. No matter how true it might be.

It could be that lockdown has had him thinking overtime but, jeeeeez, keep it to yourself (or not to new interest at least)!

It’s not my idea of fun no!

Slagging off the ex is a big no from me, especially when there are children involved

@Mylifestartstoday

I think you know why he’s single now - you’ve seen his true colours before getting involved further.

That’s what I thought. I’ve slagged my ex off to him but I haven’t gone on and on about him.

You’re all correct, I was just blinded by the mind blowing sex. After a husband who would rather shag someone else than me, it’s been refreshing to find someone who wants sex with me. It’s blinded me 😂

Mind blowing sex is not to be dismissed and due to lockdown you haven’t got any more entangled than you need

@Bunkbedpeople. You see, my dilemma is real! After years of not being touched by your husband, it’s a lovely feeling. I know it’s not enough long term, but it’s a feeling I never thought I’d have again

Just jumping on the thread to share how I was pleased with my boundaries (ex-BF turned out to be controlling and most likely a narcissist). Chatted to a match on tinder, moved to WA and he asked to have a call. Was ok but found him too direct, almost bossy. He messaged after the call politely not for him, I agreed (although for some reason felt a bit put out, think just pride!). I then deleted his messages. He messaged a couple of days later to say sorry he had been too hasty and could we have another call. I just blocked and deleted. (It should be normal behaviour to just block and move on! But strangely I feel proud)

@firetin

Well done - agree that was “weird” behaviour, some sort of advanced “negging” strategy maybe?

Morning, today is a new day.

I had a good cry last night, I miss Mr Swan, the friendship, the hours in the car laughing and singing. The amazing hugs. The stupid banter.

Mr Scent didn't message yesterday.

Hi Guys,

I hope you don’t mind me joining.

I’m on the dating scene as a distraction tool for a unrequited love scenario . I haven’t dated the person I’m referring to. In fact I haven’t dated in nearly a decade and I still end up with a broken heart. How does that happen?

Loved the tip up thread re 1km distance reset and my matches are all there as promised

I’ve been on and off the dating apps for a year. This time round I’m being more open minded but with boundaries of steel and I’ve had 2 socially distanced dates so far 🙌🏻. Whilst I don’t want to see either of them again (no attraction) it felt good getting out there after all this time.

I like that idea @donewithlove... boundaries of steel 😊

Apparently men really are like busses. You wait forever and then several turn up at once. According to tinder I have 99+ likes but somehow I doubt that. I have about 11 chats going on there - why did I never use tinder before.
I have a few chats on pof aswell. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a trick to see your matches on bumble without paying.
I'm getting so many compliments and a few have asked for socially distanced dates and I just want to ask them what they see and that I'm not that special. Maybe it's time I started to see what they apparently see and that I am somewhat good looking.

@dancerinthemoonlight

I'm getting so many compliments and a few have asked for socially distanced dates and I just want to ask them what they see and that I'm not that special. Maybe it's time I started to see what they apparently see and that I am somewhat good looking

Therein i think lies the problem. How do you think you are not that special? If you give these vibes or continue to be self deprecating you the wrong type of guys will capitalize on this.
Your self worth should never be on the basis of others opinions

Yes @dancerinthemoonlight out of the hundreds of profiles yours stood out enough to make them message you so accept that and take it at face value :) It does feel great to have messages from people and chats going on - in the ‘real’ world no one seems to see me!

@Dancerinthemoonlight I would believe that it is 99+ but I wouldn't trust the quality 😳. I once paid for it so I could see and there was maybe about 10 I would say I swiped right on. The rest were obviously gold members and had passport switched on so weren't anywhere local, either much older or much younger and the rest were just not what I was looking for.

@doneWithLove I am also loving the 1km trick and I'm actually really surprised with some of the matches, I'm definitely punching above my weight 😂.

I don't know if I'm settling with some of these conversations or they have a chance. 2 want to meet for a walk and the conversations have been fine but I'm not enticed or excited by either of them. I don't know at this stage whether I am talking to them to see if there is potential or I am trying too hard to replace Mr Vegan, if that makes sense.

@myfabby I lost a lot of weight in the past year or so and still have some to go. When I look in the mirror I still see the bigger version of me. I'm just me and I see plenty of women who I think are far more attractive than me. I have always not fitted in I suppose with my age group of the drinking etc because I had to grow up quickly.
I was told on a date last year that looking the way I do I really should have more self confidence. Although he was drunk at the time so I shrugged it off.

@zozobo I'm exactly the same. Never had much attention in the 'real world', I seem to be invisible, fade into the back group and be un-memorable but online there seems to be so many men complimenting my looks.

I never say that im not pretty etc to them. I just thank them and move on. Through the conversation try and find something to complement them on.