Dating Thread 189 - The One Where We Date Without Meeting or Leaving Home

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Thanks all, yes I've stated in my profile I would like a regular FWB. I also stated if there was a picture of your dick in your message I'll ignore it.

I've added two very classy body photos. You can see my eyes/hair in one but not my whole face as phone in front of it.

I'm literally just ignoring most of the messages. I'm ok with that.

I would add that you can set your filters to only accept messages from men who have been verified.
And check your privacy settings very carefully.

I’m pretty sure I’ve asked this or a variant of this before. I have a iron mr golf who said he was 48 on the app. We’ve come onto WhatsApp hes been quite good in contact, been direct in saying he wants something casual but monogamous- so date nights movies etc but he doesn’t want the talk in 6 months of what are we ? Are we moving in together. That suits me perfect. I have no intention of living with anyone or introducing them to my kids.

We’ve been talking about meet-up after lockdown, STI testing etc and he says he got tested a year ago and gave me his date of birth and Ref no. He’s 54! He’s Clearly forgotten he said he was younger on the app- what to do ? Bring it up ?
And of course a year old test won’t do. I’ve insisted we re test and he’s ok with that

I’m just thinking why lie ? Now I’m going to be wondering what else he’s lying about ..

7 and 6, misogynist.
We've shown Bingo the door now.

Thank you for removing them so quickly

Thank you Mumsnet...

Myfabby lying about age was always a deal breaker for me. I once went on a date with a man who said on his profile he was 44. I was 40 at the time. When I met him it was obvious he'd lied. I asked him his actual age and he said 53. He said everyone lies as his justification. I said no they don't, I hadn't.

I find it an immediate turn off. Others may be not overly bothered. Main question is what do you think? An sti test of a year ago is pointless at any rate. He needs an up to date one.

I found a lot of older men lied about their age. One guy told me he was 40. We met and I didn't recognise him from his pictures. Turns out they were when he was 30. Then he told me he was actually 50!! Not that I'd have noticed also told me he was 5ft 10. I'm 5ft 6 and was taller than him!!

@Chocolate123. Ah the height issue....men saying they’re 5’ 8”....failing to mention that’s when they’re on a ladder! I don’t understand, why lie about something so identifiable?!

I don’t care about height very much

I don't care too much about height but I am very short (5ft3) so whilst I don't care about having someone tall, I would find it weird having someone shorter than me.
The age thing, I think it depends on you. Where is your line and did he cross it? You only found out his age because he was being truthful, to the point where he had forgotten he had lied on the app. So actually, maybe I am naive, but that would lead me to believe he had been truthful about everything else in your conversation

Men are either 6ft or 5ft 8. Which I translate to mean they don't know their exact height. But they think they are tall or not so tall (but taller than most women).
I know my exact height because I was measured for a scientific study. But most people don't, they just guess based on the heights of people they know.

As for age, I've had profiles where I've set my age as 49 because that is a automatic cut off for many men. Even those in their 50s. But I also put my real age in my profile blurb.
Taking 10years off your age is ridiculous. You're getting to get found out if you meet.

Yy to the height thing! Guys insisting they are 5'10 when I'm 5'4, in 4 inch heels and taller than them 😆

failing to mention that’s when they’re on a ladder!

Many moons ago I went on a date with a man that said he was 5'10. When I met him at a pub at the bar I thought he was standing down a step and (to my shame and probably his horror) looked down at his feet. No step. I'm 5'6 and he was significantly shorter than me.

I've pmsl about height on a ladder. That;s hilarious.

Thanks @Windmill, I too am like you like one lies means many more, but I'm not too sure about this one because he seems so far to have been truthful about everything else. Sent link to his linked in, been upfront that hes slightly shorter etc. I'm enjoying the consistent attention and he's the only iron who isn't stupidly insisting we break lockdown..so we'll see..

Help! I was chatting to an iron who is mad to break lockdown (well for me to break it which is not happening!). I've told him nicely I wont be breaking lockdown, I wont be coming to meet him, even if I did want to I have 3 children in my sole care so will I bring them!! etc etc. I'm being too nice and he is completely ignoring me - we were chatting and I said I am off tomorrow (wfh at present) and he immediately asks come to see me tomorrow!!!
Do I just block him at this stage? I would hate to do that to someone normally but he is not listening, not taking no for an answer. I feel like I have explained myself enough and though I am enjoying the chats he is annoying me now! WWYD oh wise ones?!

ZoZoBo this is exactly what my iron is like, keeps asking to come over or to meet me, have told him 100 times that I’m not breaking lockdown rules and that I have my 2 kids home all the time (they can’t see their dad) but he doesn’t seem to take no for an answer so I have just gradually stopped talking to him.

I think you going to have to block
Both the last Mr M’s were like this and I look back now, they really pushed my boundaries all the time and would twist it to look like it was just cos they liked me. But it is cos they wanted sex!! If I was still seeing Mr Muddle now I am pretty sure he had no intentions of social distancing so god knows what germs (and possibly worse) he would be subjecting me to, probably that I wouldn’t even know about

I would say that this type of person is a huge red flag, they have no boundaries for themselves either and like taking risks and have little regard for things. So you better off seeing this now rather than later

I’ve got another social distancing date tonight (walk in the park) and I’ve got a feeling he’s going to be on the short side I’m only small myself but I do like a taller man!

@Lovemusic33 @ZoZoBo

I don't get it, break lockdown and then what? Is it a one off? I told one of my irons that I was shocked he would want to risk meeting me knowing he had kids and I had kids. He said well he's been meeting his friends for golf and his kids were alive so...

Block him! It's not even the not social distancing that would be the issue, it's the not accepting no. That for me would be a big red flag

Yes, block anyone not getting the message.

I've got a new iron thanks to Fab, I'll call him Mr Scent. He seems nice, chatty but not overly so. Makes his attraction clear with any sleazy attempts. Talks about after lockdown not during.

Let's wait and see.

Thanks ladies - I’m such a people pleaser and find it hard to be tough but this is getting ridiculous now! He’s a massage therapist apparently dying to practice on me blocking and forgetting